Stories about ego
10 Buddhist wisdom stories about ego from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- Chicken or duck?Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A newly married couple walking home from the temple hear 'quack quack'. She says, 'Darling, that's a chicken.' He says it's a duck — chickens go cock-a-doodle-doo. They argue…
Read full story
It's the great old story of the chicken and the duck. If you haven't heard this story before, this is a doozy, this is a great one. Once upon a time there was this couple who had just been married and after going to the temple for a nice talk, it was a beautiful evening so they went on a walk on the way back home. And as they were walking, they heard a sound quack quack quack and straightaway sort of the girl, the wife said: “darling do you hear that? That's a chicken.” I'm glad you laugh because those people who laugh haven't heard the story before, so at least some of you haven't heard the story. “That's a chicken,” and he said “darling that was not a chicken, that was a duck,” and she said “no no I'm sure it was a chicken.” It went quack quack again; “you see that's a chicken,” and he said “Darling, chickens go cockadoodledoo, that went quack quack that means it's a duck okay.” She said “No, I'm sure that was a chicken”. He said “It was a duck”. She said “No no it was a chicken”. He said “It was a duck, d.u.c.k duck”. And then she started to cry, “But, but he's a chicken”. They went quack quack again. Then he suddenly remembered what he'd heard at this temple many many times. He squeezed her hand and said “I apologize darling, I think you're right, it is a chicken”. And she squeezed his hand back and said “thank you”. And then they carried on their walk in peace and had a wonderful evening together.
- Five fingers arguing who is most importantAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Fable: five fingers argue supremacy — mirror of egos asking who matters most in the Buddhist society.
Read full story
five fingers. Once upon a time there were five fingers and they were arguing which finger is the most important. You know that human beings like to do this, who's the most important? Who's the most important person in our Buddhist society? Is it the head monk, the head nun? Is it the committee? Who's the most important person in this Buddhist society
- Most humble monk in the Guinness BookJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: He jokes about writing to Guinness to be listed as the most humble monk in the world — an oxymoron he loves.
Read full story
I mentioned a few years ago that I'm going to write off to the Guinness Book of Records to be the most humble monk in the world. [laughter] I love little oxymorons like that. You know, you can't sort of But anyway, it's like feeling comfortable. And that's actually what we really do in a retreat
- Nasrudin at the archery stall: “That was me”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Mulla Nasrudin takes his students to a fair and tries the archery stall. The first arrow falls short — “the shot of a hasty man”; the second goes wide — “the shot of an arrogant…
Read full story
And there's one of these Sufi stories, Nasrudin stories, when - this was like a Mulla in Persia, before it was called Iran, many, many years ago. A great Sufi story. Now, in those days, any people of religion were very highly respected. You know, not so much these days. But they were like pillars of society. Now, this pillar of society, this great Mullah who was so respected in the community, decided to take his students to the fair for an outing. They had been meditating and studying and practicing so hard, "Let's give them a day out". So he took them to the fair. And at that fair there were many stalls. And one of the stalls was an archery stall. Just like the old coconut shys, but with bows and arrows. And if you managed to hit the target, the ball, you would get a prize. And so this Mulla Nasrudin said, "Yes, this looks easy enough. Give me a bow and three arrows!" And so he paid over, you know, a few dollars. And all his students were really surprised, because he was like a holy man. What does a holy man know about weapons like a bow and arrow? He said, "Oh, it's just concentration. Just mindfulness. That's all it is." "You know, I can do this!" So he put the first arrow in the bow. And everyone was really quite surprised. It's like if you give me a bow and arrow. I've never shot a bow and arrow in my life. You know, could the power of Samadhi, if Ajahn Brahm had a bow and arrow, how accurate would he be? And that's what they were thinking with this Mulla. And so he pulled the - put the bow - put the arrow in the bow - see, even I don't know which one goes in which - put the arrow in the bow and shot it, and it only went about halfway to the target. It didn't even, you know - not even miss it, it just didn't get there to miss it. And everybody started to giggle, because the guy was making a fool of himself. And people love it when people in authority make a fool of themselves. And then he just turned around and said, "That, that was a shot of a hasty man". And then he put his second arrow in the bow. And this time, he took more time. And he pulled that arrow further back as the wood of the bow stretched. And he shot the next arrow and it certainly made the distance, but went about, you know, a $2 train ride to the left. It missed it a long way. And people really started to guffaw. And he just turned around and said, "That, that was a shot of an arrogant man". And then he put his last and third arrow in the bow. Took his time, aimed and shot that. And that one went right in the middle of the bullseye. But as he claimed his prize, the relieved students said, "Well, if the first shot was the shot of a hasty man and the second was a shot of an arrogant man, what was the third shot?" And he said, "That was my shot. That was me.
- “Sir, you're drunk” — “Madam, you're ugly”Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Brahm tells the 'greatest put-down' he knows, which he attributes to Oscar Wilde: coming out of a bar completely drunk, at a time when drunkenness was a real stigma, he is…
Read full story
you can't beat that Oscar Wilde who's greatest put I ever heard: when he came out of some sort of nightclub or some bar, completely drunk, and of course this was a time when being drunk was even worse as a social stigma than it is today. Actually, probably in Australia it's not a social stigma at all. (audience chuckles) an accolade but anyway in those days, when being drunk was considered to be socially unacceptable, he came out drunk and this woman said to him "Sir, you're drunk" and he replied "Madam, you're ugly." (audience laughs) and the killing phrase was "the difference between us: in the morning I'll be sober.
- The celebratory pork curry that ended his enlightenmentStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: After four years as a monk Ajahn Brahm had a great satori and thought he was enlightened. That morning, instead of the usual rotten fish curry, there was rare pork curry from…
Read full story
When I had my great Satori experience Four years as a monk and everything became really clear I really thought I was Enlightened You can read the whole story, it's very self deprecating until the food came that morning usually we have rotten fish curry for that morning there was another pot of curry It was actually... sorry if you are vegetarian there was no vegetarian food around in Thailand those days and the other food was like a pork curry from town we never have that that is really rare and straight away I thought the heavenly beings are also celebrating my Enlightenment I thought wow this is great because that's such a rare event and I was number two monk and the head monk a local boy actually from that local village he should have liked the rotten fish curry he grew up on it that was a local dish and he never took any rotten fish curry He took -- incredible big ladles no one could eat that much of the pork curry He sloshed it into his bowl. I wasn't concerned about that because there was plenty left you know of the pork curry but what he did next was absolutely unforgivable he took what was left of the pork curry and he poured it into the rotten fish curry; stirred it up and said it's all the same, it's all the same What a hypocrite, if it was all the same why didn't he pour it in and mix it up before he took his and he spoiled my celebratory meal for being .. Arahant doesn't worry about food. That was ... oh no... I am not fully enlightened after all but I really felt like it for a long time had all the.... no sloth and torpor, incredible energy absolutely imperturbable that was great Shame it didn't last that long So that is what these satoris are And the only way you can find out if it is the real thing if it really persist over years So just one great insight not enough
- The monk with the divine ear sat in Ajahn Chah's chairStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A monk Ajahn Brahm knew in Thailand claimed he could hear people talking about 12 kilometres away; when tested it was true — a 'divine ear'. Pride followed: one day he sat in…
Read full story
and just to make things interesting there was one monk I knew when I first went to Thailand who had that power he was tested out when he said he could hear people talking about 12 kilo meters away. when he made that claim we said you are crazy he said, no it is true and when we went to check in it was absolutely true he had what they say in the suttas a divine ear this incredible hearing And the problem what happened with him was he started getting this psychic power, obviously with incredible meditation then he thought he was so highly attained and one day he actually sat in Ajahn Chah's chair and said... Ajahn Chah is nobody I am the real Abbot here And it was an example of the pride and ego which sometimes comes up when you start to attain such things which is one of the reasons why in monastic Buddhism they are suppressed If you do get any psychic powers we don't talk about it that much especially if the person is still alive If they are dead we don't mind
- The supermodel was annoyed they photographed the monkStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: On a Kuala Lumpur retreat a famous Malaysian supermodel grew fed up that at the end nobody wanted her photo — they only wanted photographs of Ajahn Brahm.
Read full story
there have been supermodels... It's true. I was teaching this retreat over in Kuala Lumpur, and they told me this very famous Malaysian supermodel was on my retreat. And, you know, she looked really nice apparently, but she got very fed up at the end of the retreat, and she complained at the end of the retreat because at the end of the retreat, no one wanted to take a photograph of her; they only wanted to take photographs of me. (LAUGHTER) I don't know why she got upset of that. That's true story; they told me she was really pissed off. And I can't understand why people want to take photographs of me Anyway, but never mind there we go. Anyway back to the tree
- The TV star he didn't recogniseStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Teaching a small meditation class in Double Bay, Sydney, Ajahn Brahm notices a woman at the back smiling at him and wonders who on earth she is. Afterwards he learns she was a…
Read full story
Now one story. I should actually find out who this lady was, but she was some TV star. I think she was in Water Rats, or something. I don't know her name. Somebody told me, she is really really famous. If I told you her name now I think you would all know her. But I went to teach, it was just an afternoon meditation session in Sydney. This fellow had a little group in Darling Point, like a really top, affluent place of Sydney. So he's in this little group. There are about sort-of 20-30 people. I was talking about meditation. And this lady kept on looking at me and smiling. I didn't know, she was acting very strange. Not like an ordinary girl. [Laughter]. And, in the end, I just took it in my stride and taught the meditation etc., and afterwards I mentioned to the person organizing this and said, "That lady was acting really strange." And he told me that that was a famous TV actress. I figured out she was looking at me strangely because I didn't recognize her. What she was actually saying is, "See, it's me; I am the famous TV star." [laughter] Ajahn Brahm: And I didn't know. [laughter]
- They preferred the taller Islamic teacherStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Multi-faith school visit: feedback says girls preferred the blond Western Islamic speaker — taller than the short Buddhist monk. Ages 14–15; he does not mind.
Read full story
Pinjara school the was it Para school? No I think it was another school. It's a girl school. They wanted to have different teachers. one teach on Buddhism, one teach on Islam, one teach on uh Hinduism. I did the Buddhism bit and afterwards I got the feedback from them. He said, "No, we preferred the the Islamic man." He was a westerner because he was blondhaired and much taller than you. [snorts] These were 14, 15 year old school girls