The BBC cricket commentary blooper

Related stories

• The toilet frame with no hole

  In brief: For Western visitors, the monastery made a sitting frame to place over squat toilets. An 18-year-old English visitor sits on a frame…

  Read full story▾▴

  I remember there was this one girl, this one girl came from England. She was like 18 or 19 years of age, came to visit our monastery. And you know the squat toilets we have in Asia where you squat down on them? So some people have a hard time squatting down on the toilets. You know, they fall over and that's not such a good thing when you want to go. So instead of actually down, we built, especially, out of compassion for all these visitors from places like England and Australia, we built like a frame so you can put it over the squat toilet and actually sit on it. You know, because most people use the squat toilet, so we just put this frame just to the side. And that's the toilet which this girl used. It just had no hole in the bottom. No water. It was only a frame. But she sat on it and did her business and it went all on the floor. [laughter]. Exactly! That's what you did. That's what Ajahn Chah did. That's what I did. I thought it was terribly funny. "Oh thank you for doing that. You gave me another story!

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• “Another hour!” — Ajahn Sumedho's four-hour talk

  In brief: Ajahn Sumedho gives an hour's talk in Thai to the overnight lay guests; each time he stops, Ajahn Chah calls “Another hour!” — through…

  Read full story▾▴

  Ajahn Sumedho, it was him who was asked to give a talk, not on such a big occasion, but on the weekly talks, to all the lay community who were staying in this monastery overnight. So he gave a talk in Thai. It was sort of all right, but westerners giving a talk in a foreign language, it's difficult. Sometimes you say the wrong word and people laugh and you don't know what you've said, but you find out afterwards. You get very embarrassed. And after he finished the hour, he went to stop the talk and go and sit down, but Ajahn Chah said, "Another hour!" And he ordered this monk to give another hours' talk in Thai. You know, that's very difficult. You end up repeating yourselves, telling the same stories. You know, I tell the same stories, but I usually wait two or three weeks, you know, before - and that's why I really like - what I really like talking to is old people who haven't got such a good memory, because then they can always laugh at my talk jokes every week, even though it's the same joke. So he had to do another hour. And when finished the second hour, you know, he said, "Now the talk is over", and Ajahn Chah shouted out, "Another hour!". And at that point, many people got up and left. It's very embarrassing when you're giving a talk and people leave, but he had no choice. He had to keep on speaking. And now, of course, you get lots of pauses. You think, "Well, what am I going to say and how am I going to say it?" And eventually he finished. He finished the third hour. By that time, many people had left. And those people who were still there had their eyes closed, snoring. They weren't paying attention. But he got through the third hour. And then Ajahn Chah said, "Okay, another hour!". And the poor monk had to give another hour of talking. The worst possible talk you can ever imagine. Just mumbling, saying anything when everybody had left, except Ajahn Chah probably. And then Ajahn Chah finally, after four hours, let him off. And he said after that experience, he was never, ever afraid of giving a talk ever again.

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• “You must be the father-in-law!”

  In brief: At a wedding of a young Thai bride and an Australian man, Ajahn Brahm greets the elderly Australian as the father-in-law — he is the groom.

  Read full story▾▴

  An important occasion like that marriage I did once. It was a Thai girl. She was very, very sweet and very young, maybe 19 or 20. And I had heard she was marrying an Australian guy. So when they came in here for their wedding, I saw this young Thai girl coming in with this elderly Australian man. And I said to this Australian man, "Oh, you must be the father-in-law!" "No, I'm the groom!", he said. That wedding didn't go down very well.

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• They lost the plot (Guildford Cemetery)

  In brief: After the joke about funeral directors who 'lost the plot', Ajahn Brahm recalls it really happening at Guildford Cemetery: walking ahead…

  Read full story▾▴

  I know you don't heard the joke about you know the funeral Directors, you know who couldn't find the gravesite They lost the plot For that actually happened to me once I think in Guildford Cemetery and As we're doing the procession from the gates and when they were going and just now we're going in the front end and the hearse was following myself and the funeral director and the northern mourners behind and they Were going and I said, no. This is a long way. He said you know. I don't know where it is And we looked over there maybe about 300 meters away and that people were waving at us there's over here

  Open story page·Watch this telling