Doctor, there's something right with me — I'm sick

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• “In the building trade we call it a feature”

  In brief: After Ajahn Brahm tells the two-bad-bricks story at the Cancer Support Association, a builder reassures him professionals make the same…

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  Once when I was teaching in Cancer Support Association over in Cottesloe, they're still over there. Teaching...teaching that story because sometimes going through chemotherapy and radiation therapy can really cause a lot of depression. So I told that and yeah you got cancer but there's many other things happening in your life. Look at all the parts of the body which haven't got cancer. There's two bad bricks there, two bad tumours, what about the other parts which are beautiful, which are healthy? Look at that, it actually takes away a lot of fear. And anyway I told that, one of these builders came up afterwards and he said Ajahn Brahm please don't be upset you made two mistakes when you're laying bricks, professional builders do the same, he said. But then he said I'll tell you a secret, and I've told his secret to millions of people...internationally. He said...don't tell me your secrets, they'll be on YouTube next day...[LAUGHTER]. He said, in the building industry where we make a mistake like that we call it a feature. We call it a feature and we charge our clients an extra few thousand dollars for it.

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• Doctor, there's something right with me — I'm sick

  In brief: Instead of 'there's something wrong with me, doctor', say there's something right with me — I'm sick again. Sickness is the body…

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  Doctor, there's something right with me. I'm sick again. There's nothing wrong with being sick. Why do people add this this cultural shame on being sick? Why do you think you've made some big mistake? You're sick again. And you should try so hard next time not to be sick. If you try to be healthy, that makes you sick. One of the reasons I'm healthy because I don't even try to be healthy

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• “You're either going to get better or you're going to die”

  In brief: Seriously ill with typhus in a Ubon hospital with no night nurse, young Ajahn Brahm is overjoyed when the famous Ajahn Chah visits — for…

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  That's when I was really, really down and sick as I said a few weeks ago. Really down and sick in this third-world hospital in Ubon in Thailand, 35, 37 years ago now really really bad. That was the hospital where first evening there you know you had typhus fever felt terrible, next to death and at 6:00 p.m. the nurse disappeared one hour later the night nurse still hadn't appeared and I asked the monk next to me in the next bed should we let someone know the night nurse hasn't arrived but there is something happens in the middle of the night you know you got no one to help you and that's when the monk said there is no night nurse in this hospital we only have a nurse during the daytime sometimes. If something happens in the middle of the night that's just bad kamma. That was not reassuring. Now it is true you only had nurses there for half the day at nighttime you're at your own resources and people really sick and there's no bell to ring no one would come, you scream and you know no one would come to help you. So good for a hospital but anyway after feeling so bad for day about two or three weeks that's when Ajahn Chah came to visit me and now this was this big scene even by that time he was famous and he came just to visit me. Oh I felt so so good and so happy and so relieved, the great master comes to visit me, yeah. But the euphoria only lasted for about five seconds that's all because this great teacher he came right up to me and he said to me Brahmavamso that's the full name not Ajahn Brahm, "Brahmavamso," he said “you're either going to get better or you're going to die” and then he left. His wisdom was wonderful but his bedside manner was terrible. And that's so true, it doesn't last you're either going to get better or you're going to die, that's it. Very good teaching. So if any of you are going to visit your mother this weekend in hospital Mom, I heard from this monk, you are going to get better or you're going to die, bye bye, see you tomorrow. Don't do that. That really hurt me

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• Under a gynaecologist, and no pyjamas

  In brief: On his last hospital stay, at Rockingham, Ajahn Brahm is admitted under a family-friend doctor who is a gynaecologist — his bed sign…

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  That was about 26 years ago now. Yeah 26 years ago was the last time I went to hospital. It was in Rockingham Hospital. It's very interesting because the fellow who looked after me it's actually the secretary Gita's father. And he's a gynecologist. But because he knew me sort of he said oh let's… I'll take you in and I'll look after you. So, on the bed there was: Ajahn Brahm's doctor: dr Mendez, gynecologist. I do look weird enough wearing these robes. But being under a gynecologist, that was really cool. And all the nurses, “what, what are you?” good fun. But especially when you check in you know, you've got to check in first of all. The first question they asked me at the reception: “where's your pyjamas?” “monks don't have pajamas.” “but you've got to have pyjamas.” “but I don't have any!” “but you have to.” I said “listen. It's these robes or nothing. Take your choice.” and actually they let me wear my robes.

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