Doctor, there's something right with me — I'm sick

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• What if it doesn't come back?

  In brief: At the opening of a new campus of the Cancer Support/Wellness Association in Cottesloe, Ajahn Brahm is the second VIP guest after the…

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  I always go to the Cancer Wellness Association over in cottesloe I'm well known over there I go there once a year they come to Monastery once a year and just last year when they built a huge complex there a new campus they call it in Railway parade in codisloe having a big opening and the premier was the first VIP guess who the second VIP was and I said why are you inviting me well it's not the archbishops you know no rabbis no movie stars no Hugh jackmans or any models or anything just actually Empire why and it's because they told me that I've been going to that place for over 26 years and always being of service to them and they really value me there so much so I said I said well why and that's when they told me the very first time I went there I talked about fear and how to overcome it and that had a huge impact on the people who attend that place because what happened there was one woman there she had been through cancer in remission but there was a problem her problem was what happens if it comes back again and she was so terrified of that that was her fear and and you can understand you know if you've been through a Cancer all that treatment which is really harsh and you beat it but do I have can I do this again and so that was a fair what would happen if it happens again but I came along apparently that no one else could actually solve that problem answer that question until I came along and I answered the question for her and the question was you know what happens if he comes back and I told her what happens if it won't come back if it doesn't come back at all then what and this woman actually got it straight away yeah I never thought of that I was always so afraid of it coming back and even thought of what might happen if it never comes back and it never came back but she comes back every year to see me

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• “Fear killed twenty thousand”

  In brief: Plague demons meet in a forest clearing to compare tolls: one killed 1,000 in Paris, another 2,000 in London; the third says he killed…

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  I remember reading that in a great story by Edgar Allan Poe, "The Mask of the Red Death," only a short story. I remember it was a story about the plagues which hit Europe during the Middle Ages, which devastated 20%, 30%, 40% of the population of cities. And then this little scene from the play... there were the demons, the devils who were supposed to be spreading this plague, and they met together in a clearing in the forest, and one asked the other, "You've been to Paris, how many people did you kill there?" "1,000." "You've been to London, how many you kill there?" "2,000." "You've been to some other city, Frankfurt, how many killed there?" "I only killed about 50, but fear killed 20,000.

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• George Burns on worrying

  In brief: At 96, comedian George Burns still stays out at nightclubs, drinks whisky, smokes and eats fatty food. Asked if he isn't worried about his…

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  This is one of my favourite quotes. He is real scallywag but you could admire this person, he was very smart, that comedian George Burns. He is dead now but when he actually said somewhere when he was 96 or 97 birthday. And those of you who know this American Comedian; he was a scallywag all his life. Now at 96 he was still going to night clubs ok;. staying out till 2 or 3 in the morning drinking lots of Whisky, smoking as well eating KFC and all these fatty foods. And they asked him (probably healthy foods at KFC I have to be careful they would sue me or the Buddhist Society) but anyway you know what I mean. I don't need to criticize any food any way eating really sort of unhealthy food and the interviewer asked him 'aren't you afraid of your health, aren't you worried with your lifestyle , you smoke you drinks alcohol, you eat fatty food, you are out late at night ; aren't you worried about your lifestyle? And his reply was 'no I am not worried about my lifestyle my wife was worried about my lifestyle and that's why she died 20 years ago.

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• 'Doctor, have you got anything for worms?'

  In brief: A hypochondriac has every fashionable disease — each COVID variant, then monkeypox — and keeps visiting his doctor, who finally loses…

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  I remember this story of this um they called him a hypochondric and any disease which was fashionable the in disease of the moment this guy always always had at least he thought he had it and so he kept on seeing the doctor when COVID was coming the first COVID he went to see the doctor and the doctor said you haven't got COVID you're free of co are you sure yeah you sure and then it was instead of the co the Omicron this B virus or B I don't forget what that B1 B5 or something and anyway he every time there was a new variant of COVID he had to get tested and then when it became the latest fa uh disease virus monkey pox if anyone should have monkey pox it would be me. I'm a monk. Sorry, that's a silly joke. But anyway, this guy went to the doctor said, "Hey, I've got monkey box." No, you haven't. But this time, the doctor was so upset at this guy. It's taking up so much time for the doctor. So, he the doctor actually shouted at him for the first time, look, you're a healthy individual. There's nothing wrong with you. You are fine. Yeah. Don't come and see me anymore until you know your legs falling off or something. You know, all this hypochondria, you're wasting my time and your time. And has ever that happened to you? A doctor actually shouts to you like that? Anyway, this doctor did cuz he was had it. He just lost his patience with his hypochondriac. And then what happened? The hypochondriac was so stunned. He left the surgery left the doctor's office and you know he was so stunned that he walked across the road without looking and got hit got hit by a truck and killed and the doctor heard the sign of sound of the accident went running out and he thought oh my goodness I was too tough on this hypochondriac and now he's dead and the doctor had a heart attack and also But why are you laughing? That's a tragedy. But anyway, what happened next was because they died, you know, almost uh within a minute of each other, they got buried in a cemetery in adjacent graves. And the very first night when the doctor was in his coffin underground, he heard something was knocking on his coffin. So opened his coffin lid and it was a hypochondric. The hypochondric said to the doctor, "Doctor, doctor, do you have anything for worms?

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