Stories about irritation
5 Buddhist wisdom stories about irritation from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- A dustbin with a hole in the bottomAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Chah's simile: when people dump on you, think of yourself as a dustbin and let them put their rubbish in — but be a dustbin with a hole in the bottom. Accept it all, keep…
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he said when people dump on you aam you must think think of yourself like a Dustbin like a trash can and you must allow people to put all their rubbish into you look people tell me about their marriage problems I became a monk to get away from that and now and now what happens you know Denis was saying about you know making Hello magazine that's Hello magazine Asian Edition because I did a celebrity Marriage over there so I I can't even Escape they make me sort of do the marriages with Dennis and all but anyway I don't mind I enjoy this stuff it's good fun but what happens is he said you have to be a rubbish bin a trash can but the most important thing when you are a trash can is be a trash can a rubbish bin with a hole in the bottom that's the most important so you accept all the rubbish but you keep nothing it just goes right out afterwards might be a rubbish bin with a hole in the bottom which means you're always empty for the next person who comes down here and dumps some more rubbish inside of you
- Ajahn MosquitoStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: As a young monk, Ajahn Brahm finds the mosquitoes intolerable and asks for repellent, coils and screens — surely the monastery can afford them. Ajahn Chah says no: from now on…
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you know the old story when the mosquitoes were giving you a hard time and you were not being tolerant of them and you're being so F finding you stupid mosquitoes can't we have mosquito repellent mosquito coils mosquito screens you can afford this and aanch Char said no he said you will call those mosquitoes aan mosquito which means teacher they're your teachers now
- Goat for dinnerJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A mother-in-law coming to dinner asks her grandson what's on the menu. 'Goat,' he says — he overheard his father telling his uncle on the phone, 'We're having the old goat for…
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about mother-in-law was coming over for dinner and so she asked her her grand her grandson so what we having for dinner and the grandson said we're having goat for dinner goat for dinner said the Mother-in-law yeah I just I just overheard my father talking to his to my uncle on the phone we're having the Old Goat for dinner
- The man paid to irritate everyoneStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: From an early book on spirituality: in Gurdjieff's community in France one man was a pain in the neck to everyone, and members kept asking for him to be let go. After Gurdjieff…
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I do remember one of the early books I read on spirituality was of this teacher called G he was a Russian guy was you know a bit of a guru maybe in the late 50s I think maybe earlier than that and he ran this ashram this spiritual community in France of all places and apparently that when he died they got all his papers together and in his community there was one guy who was really really a pain in the neck to everybody you know a fellow that no one else could really sort of get on with at all and they often ask you know can you let this gu guy go he's causing a lot of problems for everybody it's just so irritating and they found out that everybody else in that Community had to pay no rent or sort of some contribution to the food that was the only guy who was actually paid by GF to be there he was an employee of the place he was paid to be there and irritate people
- Training dolphins, training husbandsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: From a psychology magazine: a PhD student studying how marine parks train dolphins — throw a fish whenever it jumps an inch higher, never punish — realises the same method works…
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the story of that woman I read in the psychology magazine who was doing a PhD and psychology and her subject was how they train dolphins in these Marine Parks you know to play water poloo to jump through these hoops and she found out that the way they do this is if that dolphin jumps an inch higher you throw the dolphin a fish positive reinforcement if it doesn't jump you don't hit it you don't get angry at the Dolphin you just wait until it jumps 2 in and then it gets another fish so every time it gets incrementally closer to what you want that dolphin to do that's when you throw another fish to the dolphin incremental positive reinforcement now this woman I I really kicked myself for not keeping that article because that this was one wise woman she went to her supervisor at University and got permission to change her thesis because she realized she had this wonderful Insight the very same technique which they used to teach Dolphins at these Marine Parks could be used on her husband so she got permission from her supervisor to change the thesis instead of how to train dolphins how to train husbands it's a brilliant piece of advice and it's practical too how do you do this it's Works them as how you train train wives or how do you train girlfriends or Partners or people in your office whenever they do something wrong they irritate you ignore it don't do anything but when they do something you like which is not irritating that's when you throw them a fish metaphorically that is in other words you give them some sort of positive feedback and of course that actually works and in her article the one part I remember she said one of the most irritating parts of you know her of her relationship with her husband and many of you may be able to relate to this in the morning when they were both getting ready to go to work he could never find his tie and he know wife was know trying to get ready to go to work too and she has to dress up much more than a guy does and she you know darling have you seen my tie can you help me find my tie it's only a small thing like that but you know that every morning that really irritates you you're trying to get ready and here's this stupid guy and he can't even remember where he put his own clothes and she would always get very angry and irritated at him for this and so she tried the throwing the fish method so when he couldn't find his tie where's my tie D could you help me find my tie he would ignore it she would ignore it she wouldn't get irritated she wouldn't complain she would just totally ignore it and go around her task and of course eventually he'd find his tie himself and that's when she would stop what she was doing and give him a big hug and kiss oh well done darling that was throwing the fish and you may laugh but this was very very effective in a couple of months she said he never asked me now he just finds his own stuff and now I'm free in the morning to do what I like to do instead of of helping this guy