Being Mindful Stories

Joke · Ajahn Brahm

'I know all about it'

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Reincarnation | Ajahn Brahm | 9 Jan 2009

2 min read

Content note: adult humour (implied affair and paternity)

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

It reminds me of a story. It's been a while since I told a joke, so this might mean it go over a bit. But about this boy. This boy was given some homework by his teacher. And he some research. And the following day he went up to the teacher and said, "Yep, I know everything about it, Miss Smith." And Miss Smith said, "You know everything about it?" "Yes, Miss Smith." "Here's $5. Don't tell the headmistress." Because everybody has got skeletons in the closet. And so he he didn't know what was going on, so he took the $5. And he told his friend, and this is what his friend said, "Look, everybody, if you say tell somebody, 'I know all about it,' then they're not quite sure what you're talking about. They'll give you $5 anyway." So, he went back home. He thought, "This is really good. I'm going to try this on my mom." So, he went and saw his mom and said, "Mom, I know all about it." "Oh my god, here's $10. Don't tell your dad." "Wow, this is really good." So, he went to his sister. "Hi, sister. I know all about it." "How do you know?" "Oh, there's lots of friends at school." "Here's $20, you pain in the neck, but just don't tell anybody, okay?" And when his father came home, father working, he can score big time off his father. So, he went out to his dad, said, "Dad, I know all about it." He pulled out "Here's $50, son. Don't tell your mother." And so he thought he's really onto a good little earner. So, the following morning, as he was on the way to school again, he saw the milkman. So, he went up to the milkman and said, "Milkman, I know all about it." And the milkman said, "You do? Son, I don't know if that's the sort of a joke a monk should tell anyway

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 51:57 (to 54:12)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A boy discovers that saying 'I know all about it' gets everyone paying him off, until he tries it on the milkman. Ajahn Brahm admits it might not be a monk's joke. We all have skeletons in the closet. Forgiveness is letting the past go instead of carrying it from life to life. Guilt is unnecessary. Learn, and move on.

In brief (our summary)

A boy tells his teacher 'I know all about it' — she gives him $5 not to tell the headmistress. A friend explains: say it to anyone and they'll pay up. His mum gives him $10 not to tell his dad; his sister $20; his dad $50 not to tell his mother. Next morning he tells the milkman, 'I know all about it' — and the milkman says, 'You do? Son…'

Teaching point

Everyone has skeletons in the closet; knowing rebirth and karma, we can acknowledge, forgive and let go rather than carry guilt.

When this story may help

  • guilt
  • family secrets

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Reincarnation | Ajahn Brahm | 9 Jan 2009 · 2009-01-25 · ▶ watch from 51:57 to 54:12 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

2 other tellings of this story

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions with machine-added punctuation; words left exactly as captioned.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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