Story · Ajahn Brahm
Can we build that hall your way — and can I be the builder?
The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)
and the last real argument which I had are very proud of this argument that's why I keep telling people about it words with the former output of voting the other Monastery because I didn't I was always there but there was another Monk who was my boss when I first went over there and for those of you who see our meditation Hall in bodinana Monastery that was his design my design was much better much cheaper much to this day I still think that he was his he wanted his way I wanted my way and I wasn't going to give in no this was important this is a monastery it's really important the buildings are going to be there for years we've got to get it right and so for a week we argued but we didn't the way we argued is actually instead of actually looking at each other we would just like man or wife I think just you said no's to each other you know I don't know this is the reasons why we should build a hall this way and I left it outside his Hut and next a few hours later I got another night if I had to buy that all these reasons what we should do his way it's crazy stuff there's many many years ago and in the end you know hopefully you do come to your senses the conflict what are you doing that for and that's what I came to record this is ridiculous and I'm a monk I shouldn't be doing this so actually I went to his Hut instead of actually putting a note in front of his store I knocked on his door come in and I said sort of I I'm sorry I asked forgiveness and I did the full ceremony bowing offering flowers and incense and Buddhist ceremony of asking forgiveness and he was very touched by that and he thought wow this is beautiful this is what monks should be like and then you know there's some making up and then we didn't kiss no we don't do such like that we just you know do the same thing so afterwards and I said to him and said once we did a sermon he said and he said oh that's really beautiful what you said that's very high minded of you and said oh thank you can I ask for two favors and that's where he he stopped and thought what's he up to is this going to be another argument and what I said next I'm always very proud of you know I don't mind saying the good things which I've done I say the bad things what you do but the good things are inspiring and they so inspire me I told him said now I've asked forgiveness so far I can read through my first favor I want to ask of you can we build that Hall your way they said yes or that very quickly I said my second favorite is can I be the Builder I want to spend about a year and a half which I did building that place your way I said wow that's really inspiring and inspired me as well it wasn't just okay you do it your way you know I'm out of here I'm not going to help you that stupid hole so I built that hole my name's actually on the building license on that Hall and I spent a long time doing that because I thought that's a beautiful thing to do because the harmony the peace the inspiration was something more important than arguing with people and having conflict they're learning how to work together yeah you can have differences of opinion you can talk it out and you know find a sensitive Moment by really listening deeply and finding out the right time to talk about these things and then actually just amazing the right time and place you can have this beautiful beautiful outcomes because for me you know what is a monastery anyway s not the buildings it's a people you know if you go to boating down a monastery I'm sure you can find more inspiring buildings in other places but it's the atmosphere it's the people the monks that's more important this place over here not a marvelous and I'm sure you can find a much more comfortable place to spend the Friday evening than just sitting on the floor with your legs aching now squash in the chairs not trying difficult to find power parking there's many more comfortable places to come but there's something else happening in the atmosphere the goodness the kindness the people that is what makes a monastery so I got my priorities right a marriage
▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 35:32 (to 40:16)
A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)
Ajahn Brahm and his abbot once argued for a week by notes over the design of a meditation hall. Then he came to his senses, asked forgiveness with flowers, and made two requests: build it your way, and let me be the builder. It's only a building. The goodness between people is what matters.
In brief (our summary)
Ajahn Brahm's last real argument was with then-abbot Ajahn Jagaro over the design of Bodhinyana's meditation hall — notes left outside each other's huts for a week. Brahm came to his senses, did the full forgiveness ceremony with flowers and incense, then asked two favours: build it Jagaro's way, and let Brahm be the builder. His name is on the building licence; harmony mattered more than the design.
Teaching point
After conflict, asking forgiveness and then serving the other person's way restores what arguing cannot.
When this story may help
- workplace conflict
- design arguments
- making up
Themes
- forgiveness
- monastery life
- conflict
- humility
- Ajahn Jagaro
Source & credit
Told by Ajahn Brahm in Real Life | Ajahn Brahm | 3 Jun 2016 · 2016-06-03 · ▶ watch from 35:32 to 40:16 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia
Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned. 'voting'/'adjun Jack'/'hole' for hall as captioned.
The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version