Analogy · Ajahn Brahm
She called me a pig — three more times
The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)
If someone calls you a pig, what do most people do? They keep reflecting on that. She called me a pig. She's got no right to call me a pig. Why did she call me a pig? And a wise person realizes you've just allowed her to call you a pig three more times. Every time you remember it, they're calling you a pig one more time
▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 29:49 (to 30:26)
A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)
Someone calls you a pig, and you replay it: how dare she, why would she? Ajahn Brahm points out you've just let her call you a pig three more times. Every replay repeats the insult. Let hurtful words land once, and only once. Don't cherish the pain by retelling it.
In brief (our summary)
If someone calls you a pig and you keep replaying it — she's got no right, why did she — a wise person sees you've just let her call you a pig three more times. Every memory is another insult.
Teaching point
Replaying an insult hands the other person more free hits.
When this story may help
- replaying insults
- workplace bullying
- family digs
Themes
- forgiveness
- rumination
- insults
- letting go
Source & credit
Told by Ajahn Brahm in Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 09-07-2010 · 2010-07-11 · ▶ watch from 29:49 to 30:26 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia
1 other telling of this story
- Entanglement | Ajahn Brahm | 17 March 2017 · 2017-03-17 · ▶ watch from 1:04:34 to 1:05:08 · Buddhist Society of Western AustraliaMar 2017 telling: short — each replay of 'idiot' lets them hurt you again; only let them hurt you once.
Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned.
The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version