# How many times should you forgive?

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-forgive-one-more-time
- Themes: forgiveness, letting go
- Life situations: repeated hurt, holding a grudge

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

At a Singapore concert based on his book, asked how many times in Buddhism you should forgive someone who hurts you again and again, he answers: 'One more time.'

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

when I was asked at a concert in Singapore based on my book 'Open the door of your heart' when they said "How many times should you forgive?" People have hurt you again and again, "How many times, in Buddhism, should you forgive?" The answer is always: "One - more - time.

## Teaching point

Forgiveness is always available one more time; it is letting go, not excusing or forgetting.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Asked how many times a Buddhist should forgive someone who keeps hurting them, Ajahn Brahm answered: one more time. Forgiving isn't excusing or forgetting. It's refusing to let the hurt keep hurting you, and seeing something good in the other person. You can always forgive once more, and stay wise about it.

## Source

- [Buddhism and Sects | Ajahn Brahm | 01-06-2007](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owq_ougaikU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 34:52 to 35:12: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owq_ougaikU&t=2092s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Real Life | Ajahn Brahm | 3 Jun 2016](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzgG2HBzVDk) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 57:49 to 58:46: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzgG2HBzVDk&t=3469s
- [Kindness, Generosity and Forgiveness | Ajahn Brahm | 8 July 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLrhGW7GEjM) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:08:00 to 1:08:27: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLrhGW7GEjM&t=4080s