Stories about politics
12 Buddhist wisdom stories about politics from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- Ban beer to save waterJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: During a Western Australian drought he told politicians they should ban beer, because it goes straight through the body and wastes water. Amazingly they didn't think it was a…
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we've been suffering from a big drought here in Western Australia just need to go and visit our monasteries in the bush to see how many trees have died so there's a great water shortage around this state and so in order to address the water shortage I was thought we should actually ban beer because if you drink beer it just go straight into the body and back into the L after half an hour and hour it waste so much water so in order to preserve the water resources of our state we should actually make beer illegal but amazing the politicians didn't think that was a good idea they could take to their electorate here in Australia
- “Donald, duck!”Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: An assassin pulls a gun on Donald Trump; the Secret Service shout “Donald, duck!” — and the gunman can't pull the trigger, he's too busy laughing.
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there was an assassination attempt somebody tried to kill him and they pulled out a gun and the Secret Service when they saw the gun they shouted out Donald Duck and the government couldn't pull him couldn't couldn't pull the trigger he was too busy laughing
- I'm the treasurer — I can squeeze five more dropsJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At a Northbridge pub an ex-Olympic wrestler offered free drinks to anyone who could squeeze five more drops from a lemon he had already crushed. Bikies, boxers and footballers…
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there was a pub here in Perth there's a pub it's in in Northbridge a rough area well not really rough area but you know so the nightclub area and in that Pub they had a competition the bar man of that Pub the owner he used to be an Olympic wrestler and I retired so you've got a pub and he had a standing competition once he squeezed a lemon into you know a drink if anybody could actually squeeze five drops out of that lemon that have free drinks for the rest of the night because he was so tough when he squeezed a level you couldn't get anything else out and they had these tough bikie gang leaders they tried it this huge guys Taps all over them squeeze the lemon they couldn't get anything out after the the excess Olympic um wrestler uh squeezed it sometimes had his bodybuilders like Arnie Schwarzenegger sometimes these you know professional boxes weight lifters they all tried you know the footballers Eagles captains and and Fremantle Dockers no one could actually squeeze any drops out of until this one guy came in a suit one evening a really thin weak guy maybe about 40 50 years of age he said I want to try this and about it's forget it look at you got no muscles on you you won't be able to squeeze this out it says yes I can I can do this and so he got the lemon and he started squeezing him and squeezing it one drop came out true drops came out five drops came out they couldn't believe it how such a 50 or 60 year old guy I forget how old he is because squeeze all these drops out of her head and said who the heck are you and he said I'm the treasurer of Australia
- If I were President Bush after 9/11Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A week or two after 9/11, asked in Singapore what he would have done as President Bush, Ajahn Brahm says he would have gone on TV and forgiven everyone involved so no more…
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I gave a talk in Singapore just after 9 11. maybe a week two weeks afterwards and after the talk the obvious question if you were President Bush what would you have done and I said straight away I did this I said this with with all the power of being a monk for such a long time after 9 11 If I Was President Bush I would have gone on TV straight away and said I forgive everybody involved in this terrorist Act there's been enough people died already I don't want any more mothers crying over their sons I don't want any brothers just so lost because their little brother is gone I forgive everybody let's end this violence and I was wondering what would have happened afterwards just imagining just people through the streets of Baghdad holding up photos of George W bush rather than Osama bin Laden George Bush George Bush instead of Osama bin Laden and I I got a standing ovation for that about 1500 people
- Interviewed on shipping because he had nothing to doStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At a transport conference with minister Alannah MacTiernan he skips the late lunch; a reporter interviews him on shipping simply because he is hanging around doing nothing —…
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Allana Martina was the Transport Minister, I got to know her quite well and had a "the community conference on transport" or something. And at lunchtime they all went out for lunch but it was too late for me so I was hanging around there so a reporter came up to me and interviewed me because I was doing nothing so, yeah I'll do an interview for you and it was on shipping! (laughter from the audience) That's another theme which I am an expert on you know, my background theoretical physics and then becoming a monk I was a teacher for a while but he was interviewing me on the benefit of shipping as the main means of transport. So I did this interview for him and he came up to me about six months later just to tell me the results of that interview, he said and I will always remember this. He said that interview was syndicated to all the major shipping magazines and journals in our whole world everywhere. Singapore, Hong Kong, London, New York, Buenos Aires. It went everywhere now he gave it the key title of Zen and the Art of Shipping by Ajahn Brahm
- Joke: the famous-quotations testJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: An American high-school teacher offers to let anyone who identifies a famous quotation go home early. 'Who said "I have a dream"?' Ahmed answers Martin Luther King and goes home.…
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in a school a high school in the United States on a Friday afternoon that teacher was doing a class in in ethics and English and their culture so she made the announcements in the high school I'm going to give a little examination a test on famous quotations and if you get the answer right you can leave school an hour early on Friday you don't have to come back till Monday that surprise so the first question class who said I have a dream and before she could go even to the next sentence armored in the back put his hand up and said that was Martin Luther King and the teacher said wow amazing little istan boy Ahmed very good correct you can go home and the next question is who said it's not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country and Yasmin in a hijab put her hand up and said that was JFK John F Kennedy Miss correct you can go home too and as she was opening the door for little Yasmine to go out this American kid in the back said bloody Muslims and the teacher turned around I said who said that and this American man said Donald Trump see you on Monday
- Mortal enemies who go out to dinnerStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Jerry Hansen, who built the retreat centre, told Ajahn Brahm he would fight publicly with union representative Kevin Reynolds for the media, then go out to dinner in the evening…
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I remember know this I don't mind saying he told me this you know the fellow who built our Retreat Center Jerry Hansen you know he had his fights with Kevin Reynolds you know with the the union sort of Representative but he told me Percy said I yeah and we have these fights you know for the media but then we go out for dinner in the evening quite quite admired that you know the sort of you know what the what the newspaper say is mortal enemies but you know then they sort of they have dinner again they s establish a friendship
- Rajapaksa served baked beans and said 'I'm a failure'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Invited to breakfast at the Sri Lankan presidential palace, Brahm is served baked beans by President Rajapaksa himself. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, the president says honestly —…
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the president of Sri Lanka at the time that was Raja Paka. So he invited me to his palace for breakfast and number one I was impressed that whoever these governments are they really know how to do their research. What do you get a monk for breakfast in Sri Lanka? Correct. You've heard the story. I don't know where he got the baked beans from. It wasn't a national dish in Sri Lanka and he served me himself with baked beans. But the one thing which I really know remember was when he came in he's you know he was just obviously just came out of bed because you know he just has to stay up late at night. He was rubbing in his eyes and as soon as he saw me it was like a moment of honesty. He knew I wasn't a politician. And he told me, he said, "Ajan Brah, I'm a failure
- Thai insurgents forgiven — then hiredStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Northeast Thai insurgency collapses; rebel leaders give themselves up and instead of jail or execution are forgiven and given civil-service jobs. Years later in Sydney the Thai…
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the leaders of the insurgency the main rebels who were responsible for attacks on many army posts and many people being killed they gave themselves up as well they had no resources left to fight the government and the beautiful thing was they were not put in jail they were not interrogated or put against the wall and shot instead they were forgiven almost immediately they were given very good jobs in a civil service their ability to organize a sacrifice to pour their own safety second to what they thought was the benefit of their friends and relations in the villages and provinces but that was much more important for them why not make use of their abilities let them join up the government and once many years ago when I told this story in this was in Sydney and the Thai ambassador was listening and when it came question time he stood up with his hand up and said yes that is true but you lift out something he said two of those leaders two of those leaders were trying to overthrow the Thai government
- The blind elephants who felt a manJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At a leadership conference on Hayman Island with Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard and others, Ajahn Brahm retells the seven blind men and the elephant — then inverts it: seven blind…
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one gig I went to some years ago was to go to this resort island on Hayman Island now that is really a Top Resort and I was invited there all expenses paid flown over to the Gold Coast oh no the Great Barrier Reef you know it's a it's almost like a six-star hotel and that was quite a few years ago because it was a leadership conference and that that leadership conference there was Kevin Rudd was there and Julia Gillard and Swan and and the uh Anna Blythe from Queensland she was a premier there and the premier of Victoria was there and all these big shots were there not his big business people were there and it was really interesting and I was teaching them how to meditate and how to actually to uh to give them a bit of wisdom about how to live in harmony together that didn't really work anyway I tried actually I remember the story I did tell them which they thought was funny was you know the old I'm just going off in a tangent no Odell story The the elephant and the seven wives the elephant and the Seven Blind Men many of you know that story every blind man felt different part of the elephants and you know because of that that sort of they argued elephant is like a tree trunk elephant's like a fly whisk who felt the tail elephants like a plow felt the who felt the task and they all argued what an elephant was they were all right but they should have actually combined their knowledge and I decided to do a a an alternative of that one and that is of the the story The Great Buddhist story with the seven blind elephants and they always heard about a man what's a man we've heard about a man but what is a man and I heard about the you know seven Blind Men the only way you can find out is find another find an elephant set of seven Blind Men feel it and instead of archery and who's right combine your knowledge don't argue combine so the seven blind man figured out an elephant so big rock on four tree trunks with a fry Whisk on the back a water pot on the top on the middle of the water pot is a big snake two plows on either side of the snake and two big fans on either side of the water part of the years and that's not a bad description so when the elephants blind elephants heard about this they thought that's how we can find what a man is let's all find a man each feel the man come back and we combine our experience but unlike the first part of the story when the blind elephants all they all found a man each and when they came back to compare experiences they all agreed a man was flat that's the only way an elephant could feel anybody squashing it and I remember telling that to Kevin right and I think that's probably why uh Julia Gillard squashed him it's my fault sorry
- The minister who read their mindsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Long ago a Thai minister is so wise that the king always prefers his advice, and the other ministers, jealous, plot to embarrass him. In front of the king they flatter him:…
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There was this guy actually he was a a minister in the Thai government many many know decades ago, hundreds of years ago. And they he was really smart. He was so smart that everyone else was jealous of him. The king always prepare preferred this minister's advice than anybody else. So you know what it's like in politics. They decided to gang up to get rid of this guy. He was always embarrassing them. So they decided to challenge him. So in the morning in front of the king they said your minister you're so lucky to have such a wise and experienced minister you know he knows everything and the said yeah that's true he was so arrogant and the other minister said he probably knows how to read our minds and he said yes I do he'd fallen into their trap already agreed even if they he could read their minds. Even if he said exactly what they were thinking, they would deny it. How can you prove what a person is thinking? So he said, "Yes, I can read all your minds." So what are we thinking? And then this minister said, "Actually, every one of you is thinking the same thing. You're always thinking kind and benevolent and loyal thoughts towards his majesty. I said, "Yes, it's amazing. You read our minds." [laughter] Of of course they weren't thinking that at all, but to deny that would put them in big trouble.
- What is two plus two?Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Three candidates for preselection in a safe Australian seat are asked the same question: what is 2 + 2? The first uses a calculator: 4. The second says 4 at once. The third: '2 +…
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A preselection for a safe seat somewhere in Australia. And there were three candidates, once they interviewed everybody, the last three candidates. And so the people who are going to select who's going to stand for the election in this seat. They called in the candidates, one after the other. The first one, who came in, they said: We're gone ask each one of you the same question, a very simple question. Please tell us the answer. The question is: What is 2 + 2? And the first candidate got out his calculator. Punched in the instructions and he said 4. Very good. Don't call us, we will call you. And they called in the second candidate. Same question to keep it fair. What is 2 + 2 ? And straight away he said 4. Very good. Don't call us, we will call you. They asked the third candidate. What is 2 + 2 ? And this candidate said: 2 + 2 is whatever you tell me it is, boss. You got the job. [laughter]