Being Mindful Stories

Joke · Ajahn Brahm

Ban beer to save water

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Why Do People Do Bad Things? | Ajahn Brahm | 17-06-2011

1 min read

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

we've been suffering from a big drought here in Western Australia just need to go and visit our monasteries in the bush to see how many trees have died so there's a great water shortage around this state and so in order to address the water shortage I was thought we should actually ban beer because if you drink beer it just go straight into the body and back into the L after half an hour and hour it waste so much water so in order to preserve the water resources of our state we should actually make beer illegal but amazing the politicians didn't think that was a good idea they could take to their electorate here in Australia

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 2:52 (to 3:30)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

During a WA drought, Ajahn Brahm suggested banning beer, since it passes straight through and wastes water. Strangely, politicians weren't keen. Behind the joke is a serious point: much harm follows alcohol and drugs, often through peer pressure. You don't need to follow the crowd to have a good time.

In brief (our summary)

During a Western Australian drought he told politicians they should ban beer, because it goes straight through the body and wastes water. Amazingly they didn't think it was a good idea for the electorate.

Teaching point

Humour can make a serious scarcity visible — and show why monks stay out of politics.

When this story may help

  • drought
  • wanting lighter politics

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Why Do People Do Bad Things? | Ajahn Brahm | 17-06-2011 · 2011-06-19 · ▶ watch from 2:52 to 3:30 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned. 'into the L' = into the loo.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

  • The bottle ghost

    In brief: Told in Asia, where people fear ghosts: the most dangerous ghost in the world, one he has seen many times. It possesses people — they…

    Read full story

    I like telling the story of the bottle ghost. I get really serious because it's one of the most dangerous ghosts in the whole world. And I like many people say they don't believe in ghosts. But there's evidence for this ghost. I've actually I've Okay. I've seen it myself many times and I've seen what it what it does to people. You know, it it actually possesses people, the bottle ghost. And they they they don't act in the normal way. They're they're strange. You know, they they don't speak in the normal way. They don't even walk in the They don't act in the normal way at all. They're totally different characters. And I've even seen this ghost possess people. It's no exaggeration. I've seen them get killed. It's that dangerous a ghost. And so, I warn people and listen, my honesty is there. This bottle ghost exists and it does possess people and it does kill them as well. And people are actually very impressed cuz, you know, I don't exaggerate. I don't tell lies. And that bottle ghost, I explain what it really is. It lives in bottles of whiskey, rum, and other things cuz as soon as you take the bottle the top off, you get possessed. And you speak in very strange ways and you can't even walk in a straight line and you do really weird things and sometimes you kill yourself in an accident. It's called a bottle ghost. That's actually why we call these things spirits. Have you ever wondered why they call it spirits? It's the bottle ghost. But it is true. It does kill you.

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • The actuary they called “Flash”

    In brief: Visiting England, Ajahn Brahm meets a Cambridge friend he hasn't seen for 40 years — now a highly respected actuary, among the top in…

    Read full story

    a couple of years ago I met one of my friends when I was visiting England. He's an old friend from Cambridge days. Now that was about 40 years now. Now he's this highly respected businessman. He's an actuary. An actuary is this mathematical geniuses who work out just the odds of you know falling off a building. It works out the the the probabilities for insurance companies. And he was one of the top if not the top actuary in the whole of Europe. And so when I met him we hadn't seen each other 40 years. A highly successful very sort of good man. And I reminded him of the nickname we had for him at Cambridge which was Flash. And the reason we called him Flash was because one night at one of the parties we had he did get drunk. He went into the toilets and he came out with nothing on. That's why we called him Flash. And he said, "Better not talk too much about that Ajahn Brahm.

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • “Doctor Buddha's orders”

    In brief: A new Buddhist refuses a drink at a work party — 'I'm a Buddhist' — and a colleague replies that Buddhism is all about letting go, so let…

    Read full story

    there was this one guy who used to come here, and he said that when he started keeping his five precepts and gave up drinking alcohol, it was very difficult for him because the first time he went to a party or a reception, one of his work friends gave him some alcohol and he said, "No, I can't take it cuz I'm a Buddhist." And his friend said, "Oh, you're a Buddhist? Yeah, I know about Buddhism. I really respect Buddhism. Buddhism is all about letting go. Come on, let go. Have a beer." So, he's caught out. That's the trouble that people know a little bit about Buddhism. They don't know enough. So, he had to take the beer that time. He was put in a spot, but afterwards he told me that he found the solution. Cuz the next time he went to a reception or a party at work and someone offered him a drink, he said, "No, I can't take the alcohol. Doctor's orders." And people left him alone. Because now, if it's doctor's orders, it's a medical condition, no one would actually challenge you. But when he told me that, I actually criticized him back. I said, "Aren't you keeping one precept by breaking another? You're lying. There's nothing wrong with you. You're perfectly healthy." But then he actually he actually taught me some Buddhism because now, he was what So, I make mistakes sometimes. Please correct me sometimes if I make a mistake and he actually taught me more because it was true. He said, "Look, don't you remember Ajahn Brahm? In many of those old teachings of the Buddhas, the sutras, many, many times he actually compared himself to a doctor." And so, it was a doctor's orders. Doctor Buddha's orders.

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • The wine gums

    In brief: One Christmas when Ajahn Brahm was a young monk, four (now famous, unnamed) Canadian monks receive wine gums from their parents. Assuming…

    Read full story

    even when I was a young monk, it was Christmas time, and it was these four monks, actually they're all really famous monks now. I won't tell you who they are. I wouldn't embarrass them. But their parents for Christmas sent them some wine gums. Now, wine gums are just sweets. And they just got the name wine, but they thought, "No, there'd be no wine in these." And so, the four of them, you know, from Canada, they sort of ate them together, just the four of them. They never gave any to me. And it's a good job because I would've taken them, too. And actually had real wine in them. And the monks didn't think there was any such They they haven't had alcohol for for years. So, they were actually ultra-sensitive. So, we had four drunk monks in the monastery to look at.

    Open story page·Watch this telling

All stories·Find a story for your situation