Stories about loneliness
4 Buddhist wisdom stories about loneliness from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- A map to the toiletStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Blessing a riverside mansion in Perth, Ajahn Brahm asks the way to the toilet and the lady draws him a map. Ten or twelve bedrooms — and she lives there alone. Why not have…
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that house which I went to bless I won't say where in one of the suburbs in Perth was on the river and when I went there, this huge mansion and this is no joke when I went there I was travelling from serpentine I needed to go to the toilet. And when I asked the lady where is the toilet she got out a piece of paper and drew me a map. That's a big house. It's true... that's what ... . But the point was I asked how many people live in this house I don't know how many bedrooms-10 12 bedrooms ..she said just me. I live in this house alone. And you'll find in many of those big mansions may be one person, two at most. Isn't that telling you something? What it's telling you is that in those big places people are imprisoned by their wealth. You know why ... when I asked why don't you have some friends and relations? she said 'I am afraid of my relations'
- Six months alone and never lonelyStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Brahm's record is six months alone, not speaking to or seeing anyone; food was left in a box, and he left his bowl back there to be filled the next day. Asked whether he…
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my record was 6 months by myself not speaking or seeing anybody and it was an amazing experience because throughout that whole 6 months never seeing anybody Not a Human Being no they just leave food in a box and I know when they were coming there and afterwards I go and pick it up I put my ball back there afterwards so they fill it up the next day never spoke to anybody for six months said didn't you feel lonely and the answer was I never felt lonely and I asked myself why I didn't feel lonely and the answer was because there was always someone there me and I quite like myself so because I quite like myself where throughout those whole six months I was with my best friend how can you feel lonely when you're with your best friend all day the reason was I was my best friend
- The great physicist standing alone at dinnerStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: When Roger Penrose visits Perth, Ajahn Brahm and the Society's president join a dinner with NASA scientists and physics professors. Everyone chats happily — even the monk — while…
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one of the people which we met here, with Dennis, our president, Roger Penrose came into town some years ago and he's Mr. Black Hole. He's the guy who discovered black holes. So Roger Penrose, one of the greatest physicists of our age, probably up there with Stephen Hawkins. And he came and Dennis our president, so we went to have dinner with him. And, cause I'm well connected with the physicists over here. It's actually, it's really amazing, this dinner, all the other people there, they were sort of from, they were NASA, they were professor of Physics from all over the place, and I was only, sort of, the Buddhist monk [laughter] or anyone from religion which actually shows just how Buddhism and even just elite Physics, we can actually melt together. But you even look at this person who was so brilliant in his field but you couldn't have a conversation with him. And do you remember this Dennis? We were all just talking with each other, even I was just chatting about all sorts of stuff with these people from NASA and he was actually standing by himself, no one was talking with him. I was wondering that he is brilliant in front of the lecture theatre, apparently, he's brilliant, you know, on a piece of paper but he hasn't got his life together.
- The two sisters: one with a husband, one withoutStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Two Thai sisters come for counselling. The elder can't stand her Australian husband and is considering divorce ('recycling'); the younger desperately wants a partner. Ajahn Brahm…
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These two Thai sisters came one day to see me. Oh, I'll never forget this. They still come to feed us every now and again, but they wanted personal counseling. And so I talked to them and the elder sister first. And the elder sister said to me, he said, "Oh, you know, I've got a husband, a Western husband, Australian guy." He said, "I can't stand him." There's so much suffering and and now I'm just really wondering should I keep working on this? Is it really salvageable or should I sort of get divorced and try again? And you all know again I don't call it divorce anymore. I sped this word around in Singapore. They really liked it. We don't call it divorce. What do we call it in Buddhism? Recycling. Yes. It's a much much more positive word. So, and she was thinking of getting divorced. And so, I gave her some nice ideas about how to solve the problems in a marriage because it's not that hard to solve problems in marriage. Even as a monk, I can do that. Like, oh, this great story which just comes to my mind. Some of these are golden oldies, but you know, they're just great stories about this because actually the lady who told me this, you know, I was uh had lunch with her yesterday in Singapore. She told me that she was a bit of a marriage counselor in her early years and she had one client who came to her Singapore lady. She couldn't stand her husband because her husband was coming home very late at night. She was certain that he had a mistress. And so she told the marriage counselor, you know, actually I don't really need counseling. I just want to get rid of the guy. I want to divorce. I want to separate. Just help me get rid of him. And a marriage counselor was a very very smart girl. She said, "Look, if you divorce him now, do you think he will be happy or he'll be miserable?" And she thought about actually it's what he wants. He'd be really happy. And in your present state, do you want him to be happy? No, I want him to be miserable. So this is the plan. Don't get divorced yet when he, you know, doesn't like you. Go out and get a really good hairstyle. Go and get your face, you know, made up. Go and learn a bit more grooming. Go and get some sexy clothes. And when he comes home, just being really nice to him. Just cuddle him and see what happens. because you fell in love once, see if you can make him fall in love with you again. And when he does fall in love with you again, then divorce him. Yeah. Yeah. What a great idea. So that's what they did. She spent a lot of money just getting sort of uh uh face done up and nice hairstyle and what they call it, a makeover. A nice makeover. So she really looked much more attractive and every week go and see the marriage counselor. He started coming home earlier and earlier and earlier. He started becoming more affectionate towards her and they'd always ask how's it going? Yeah, he's you know he's becoming much more affectionate. It's really seems to be working. He's falling in love with me again. And then she missed an appointment. And so the the counselor called her up at home said, "You missed an appointment this week. What happened?" He said, "Oh, well, he's having such a lot of time. He's fallen in love with me. I'm sure of it." "Great," said the counselor. "Now's the time to divorce him." "Oh, no. We're so much in love now." Mission accomplished. Cuz all it is that sometimes is we have a little bit of problems in life, but there's always ways we can work it out. They fall in love with you once, why not try and fall in love again? Now do something like romantic. No, don't come. Honestly, don't come to the Buddhist society if you want to have a nice romance. You know, we're going to get soon another couple of months Valentine's Day. Go and get her a present. Like that one of my favorite jokes like the person who asked his his wife, he said, "Valentine's Day tomorrow, darling, what do you want?" And she said, "I need nothing. I've got you." He said, "Yes, but what do you want?" He'd been married long enough to know women. And so she looked at him and said, "Something, anything with diamonds in." So when she opened her present the following day, she found a pack of playing cards. It has 13 diamonds in it. So that's what you guys you can get for your your wife's Christmas present. A pack of play cards. Diamonds, darling. Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Anyway, back to reality. So I told this lady, you've got husband suffering. That's what it's like having a husband. you ask other women and it's just it's a difficulty having a relationship. It's not easy but you know you can work at it and make it work. And the junior sister, this the younger one of course her problem was she was looking for a partner in life like many people do. They can't find one. You know they find someone who's just almost okay but then it just all goes pear-shaped. It doesn't work. And people keep telling me actually see all these girls coming up here say I just really need a partner in life. I'm looking for someone to go out with and share my life with someone I can trust. And see all these nice guys come up. I'm looking for a girl. I really should start a dating agency cuz I've got all these potential clients and they're all really nice people. I can't understand it cuz I've known some of these people for such a long time. Why can't you get on together? You I get on with you. Really nice people, really good people. But anyway, this is coming in in a few moments. But I told this lady said, "You you are looking for a husband, somebody you can share your life with. And your elder sister has got a husband she doesn't want. I can see a solution." And I actually said that they got very upset at me. I don't know why. It's logic. It's reason. Your sister's got a husband she doesn't want. a younger sisters and I wants one share. Isn't that what brothers and sisters are supposed to do? But then I told her, okay, you've got, you know, a single woman suffering. And I said, if you find a partner in life, you'll have what your elder sister have, married woman suffering. And so they actually understood that. They said, "Yeah, you're right. And if you're married, you have married woman suffering. If you're single, you have single woman suffering." So they thought they'd become nuns. And I said, "If you become nuns, then you have none suffering. Go and ask the nuns at Gijigan.