Stories about decisions
7 Buddhist wisdom stories about decisions from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- Heads I marry himStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At Oslo University a young woman asks how to make a really important decision. To make it concrete, he suggests: suppose you were deciding whether to marry the boy sitting next…
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I was in Oslo University question came really important decision to make in my life how do I make it really important this young woman I shouldn't have done this because I said well let's make it more concrete suppose you were considering marrying the boy sitting next to you and his poor woman she put her hands front of it she went beetle red because that's exactly the decisions he was contemplating I should have done that so I said so easy so you got your boy next to you not sure it's a big decision in life you're gonna marry him or you're not gonna marry him accept the proposal or not so simple get out a coin heads I marry him tell us I don't but that's not the end of it you toss up the coin heads I marry him tells the dough he comes up heads what's your reaction if you think yes that means you really wanted to marry him all along if it comes up heads and see let's try two out of three then that means you don't want to marry him
- How big is my hand?Analogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Simile (shown with his hand): held in front of his face, his hand is so big he can see nothing else. Is it the hand's fault? No — it's just too close. Put it back where it…
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The old simile, again this is great for the camera, but it’s terrible on audio: I put my hand in front of my face. “How big is my hand?” is the question. My hand is so big, that I can’t see anything other than my hand right now. Is it my hand’s fault? Is that the problem? No, it’s just too close to me. When I put my hand where it belongs, at the end of my arm, it’s still the same size, but I can see all of you, and I can also see my hand. This is the difficulty when we have these decisions to make, when we hold it so close to us, we cannot see anything else. We got no perspective. We need to somehow to let it go, be peaceful, put things aside, rest, relax, whatever you call it. But stop thinking about the decision you have to make for a couple of days. And when it’s in the place where it really belongs, at the end of your arm, like my hand, then you can see much clearer, and you make a far better decision.
- The dancing lollipop ladyStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Being driven to the airport early one morning in London as children went to school, Ajahn Brahm sees a 'lollipop lady' stopping traffic with her big round sign — not walking…
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these are the people who look after the crossings Here in Australia they have flags. Over in the UK they have these big poles with this circular 'stop' sign. And I will always remember this woman maybe 55-60 year old woman English lady with a lollypop, she was dancing she was doing rap with the lollypop dancing away across the road and she made so many people happy that morning including me going to work on a Monday morning, me going for a long flight. That's all you need to do! Just add a little bit of fun to being a lollypop girl
- The hermit of the NullarborStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Brahm's monk's fantasy: living as a hermit in a deep Nullarbor cave with water beneath. Then he imagines what would follow — someone finds him, Channel 9 comes for a…
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I always had these fantasies like going in deep caves. This was my fantasy. Coz when I first came over here I heard there’s some brilliant caves in Nullarbor. And they’ve got water underneath as well. So you’ve got your water, you’ve got seclusion. And I felt sure I can get someone to give me some food somewhere. And I thought I would become like the hermit of Nullarbor. That’s my fantasy. This is what monks dream of. They don’t dream of winning the lottery or finding a beautiful girl. They dream of being a nice hermit in a deep cave in Nullarbor. But then I started fantasizing further: what would happen next? Imagine, if you were like a monk and you’re staying in a deep cave in Nullarbor, sooner or later somebody will find you. And the soonest they find you, they will tell Channel 9. (laughter) And Channel 9 will go out there with their reporters to do like a human interest story about the hermit of the Nullarbor. “And why did you run away? Was it because of a broken heart? (laughter from the audience) Was it because… was it because your business went pear-shaped? Or because some other reason why you just didn’t like the world anymore? Because the Eagles kept on losing, was that the reason why you why you went to be a hermit?” (Ajahn laughing) And then they do an interview, and of course it would go on the TV and of course as soon as the TV would go there and they tell you that there’s a hermit at their Nullarbor, and of course all these tourists will start to come and visit you on the way across the Nullarbor Plain they make a diversion to go and see the hermit of the Nullarbor. Coz that’s very rare to see like a hermit. And so I’ve got all those tour busses coming to see the hermit of the Nullarbor. And then soon they would have to have toilets outside my cave and a little gift shop which has devontiontees. And before long you get those little dolls like the hermit of the Nullarbor with a shaky head. (audience laughing) And so you’d be a tourist attraction. Just like everything else. And that’s what happens with the hermit of the Nullarbor
- The social worker's solutions that popped upStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A senior social worker with heavy responsibilities arrives at a nine-day retreat in North Perth at 8:30 p.m., straight from the office with big unsolved problems. She has…
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A classic case is one of the old members here who died a year ago. She came on this meditation retreat which I gave a couple of years ago. And she was a very high profile social worker, senior social worker, had lots of responsibilities. So the retreat which we give, the nine day retreats, they usually start at about seven o’clock. I don’t think she turned up till about eight thirty. Because she was working at her office, getting all of the papers and stuff done and she couldn’t leave it. I don’t think she had any dinner. She came straight from her office to the retreat center in North Perth. Tired, but you know, obviously I told her to rest for a couple of days before she can really got into the meditation. But she told me at the interview a few days later that she had come to the retreat straight from the office finishing very late, with all of these problems, big problems. But she was wise enough, she heard those teachings many times before. When she came to the retreat center, she completely forgot about them for two or three days. She done all of her research, she got all of the information, she just hadn’t processed them. And just three days, she was meditating there quite quietly, and her mind was very peaceful and these solutions started popping up. And she said when she basically listened to the solutions in her mind, she didn’t know where they came from, they just came up, popped up, she said: “Wow, these are really good solutions!” And she was so impressed with these solutions which came up automatically, she told me afterwards. She said: “As soon as I go back home, I’m going to implement these things. These are innovative I can see just how they are gonna work.” But she also said there’s no way . she could have thought of those solutions It was a decision making which arrived by putting in all of the information and waiting, and waiting for the brain, the mind, to process these things and for the decision to come up.
- Toss a coin to find out what you wantAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Advice for a hard decision: toss a coin — heads I marry her, tails I don't. If it comes up heads and you think 'two out of three?', you don't want it; if you think 'yes!', you…
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But, if you read my book, you toss a coin, you marry her, tails I get divorced. Oh no, you can't get divorced until you're married. Heads I marry her, tails I don't. And the point is, once it comes up heads, how do you feel? Heads I marry her, do you think 2 out of 3? In other words, you're not happy with the decision. Then of course what that's telling you is how you feel inside. If it comes up heads, heads I marry her, yes! That means you really want to do it in the first place. So tossing a coin, it's finding out what you really want to do. So you make a decision, heads I go left, tails I go right. After you've tossed a coin, how do you feel? What's the emotion inside? It's just getting that intuition up to your brain.
- Wait at the crossroads for the busAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Simile from Opening the Door of Your Heart: a decision is like arriving at a crossroads. You don't have to go north, south, east or west — sit down and wait for the bus. Buses…
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In my book “Opening the door of your heart” I said it’s like coming into the crossroads in life. Coz decisions are like crossroads. What should you do? Get married? Become a nun? Sort of go overseas? Kill yourself? I don’t know. But whatever decision you’re about to make, stop for a while, put all the information in Like coming to a crossroads, you sit down. You don’t have to go left, right, north or south. Sit down and wait for the bus. Coz in the crossroad there’s also a bus coming. And most busses have the destination written on the front. And if that’s the place you want to go, then get on that bus. If you don’t want to go to that destination, don’t get on. Coz there’s always another bus coming behind. What that means is that when there is a decision to be made, wait; learn how to put it down. You don’t have to struggle to go north, south, east or west. You can stay still and wait for the solution to arrive. And it does arrive.