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Story · Ajahn Brahm

Tea-plantation monastery — 3 to 4 pm sexy time

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Secular Mindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 27 October 2017

3 min read

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

after five years as a monk i was allowed to go out the monastery to travel around stay by myself visit some other teachers board my experience and i go to this wonderful monastery perfect monastery i was english monk you know how i like my tea this was in the middle of a tea plantation in north of thailand everywhere i looked there were two bushes i had as much tea fresh tea as i wanted beautiful cave and the monastery was up in the mountains it was the right temperature not too hot there's no westerners so like it cooled just the right temperature and even better than that no other monks were in this abandoned monastery because it was too peaceful for them to me that was brilliant nice i can really do some nice meditation here and i didn't need to give any talks the lay people would come just they wanted to feed me that's all nothing else it was like idyllic utopia so i had all the time to meditate you know what happened my meditation got worse and worse and worse more and more crazy these thoughts were coming into my mind first of all there's no ordinary thoughts restless planning whatever and then you started getting what i keep calling unmonkished thoughts and i was only our day when i was 23. so this is 28 28 29. you know still had it long gone now but i thought that was old girl i wonder if she's still available let's stop it and always well you know that i'm still young enough i still got a good degree i can go and teach meditation as a living you know i'd do this and do that stop it because i really wanted to be a monk but every time i tried to watch my breath bring my mind back onto the breath my mind would go off again bring it back to the breath it would go off again and it got worse and worse and worse until i thought i was going mad crazy i just could not stop these unmonkeys thoughts coming up so what i did there's no one to speak to that monastery i was by myself they had a buddha statue i bowed to the buddha statue and asked for help and the inspiration which came up was do a deal you know i was trained in the west okay deals no mr trump the deal was this i would watch my breath for most of the day but i'd set aside one hour every afternoon from 3 p.m to 4 p.m for any thought goes sexy thoughts weird thoughts romance thoughts that was my sexy time as a monk okay i'm being honest with you up front but that's three to four p.m every afternoon if you mind what's the thing about that that's the time the rest of the time you behave i thought that was compromise you know what happened the mind was as crazy as ever i just couldn't stop those thoughts you know you were aware i was mindful my goodness i was mindful but they kept coming back in again i could not stop them and so it came to three o'clock exhausted i went against the wall like no many people do put my feet out okay now any sexy thought you want weird fantasizing deviant whatever okay and this is no exaggeration the next one hour i watched every breath without missing one so easy and that really threw me what is happening there that was data raw data as a scientist how come when i was fighting my mind all these thoughts would keep coming in and as soon as i let go my mind watched every breath without missing one easy relaxed and that taught me a lot mindfulness is not good enough you need a bit of wisdom and kindness

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 28:07 (to 32:38)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

In a perfect mountain monastery among tea plantations, young Ajahn Brahm found his meditation getting worse, flooded with unmonkish thoughts. So he scheduled them for three to four each afternoon, and in that hour every breath came easily. Fighting the mind failed; kindness worked. Mindfulness alone isn't enough. Befriend yourself.

In brief (our summary)

After five years, young Brahm finds an abandoned mountain monastery in a tea plantation — ideal utopia; meditation gets worse; 'unmonkish' thoughts flood. He schedules 3–4 pm for any thought — and in that hour every breath is easy. Fighting the mind fails; letting go works.

Teaching point

Perfect conditions amplify restlessness; kindness and letting go beat forced mindfulness.

When this story may help

  • on retreat
  • early monastic years

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Secular Mindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 27 October 2017 · 2017-10-27 · ▶ watch from 28:07 to 32:38 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

8 other tellings of this story

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned. 'unmonkished'/'unmonkeys' = unmonkish; 'board my experience' = broaden.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

  • The hundred-baht wish list

    In brief: A grateful Thai supporter who knows the rules offers the young monk a 'mendicant allowance' of 100 baht for anything he personally wants.…

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    Cos that happened to me many years ago, maybe over thirty years ago in Thailand, I had helped a man with some problems, and he was very grateful, he knew the rules, cos he was a Thai, been around the forest tradition a long time, so he came up to me and asked me, "Is there anything I can get for you? Just for you, not for the temple, one hundred baht." That's thirty-seven years ago, and these days, it's only worth about two or three dollars, but that to me was a lot of money. So you know, my mind went blank, as it often does, maybe I meditate too much, I don't know. But anyway, I couldn't think. And he was getting very impatient, and he had his work to go to. I came up with an idea, I said to him, "Why don't you come tomorrow morning? Tonight I'll think about what I want, and I'll write it down and give it to you tomorrow." He said, "Good idea - I'll be here about the same time tomorrow." So that night, after the evening meeting, chanting and meditation, I went back to my room, I lit a candle, cos there's no electricity - and I got out a old piece of paper and a pen, so I started thinking, "what do I want?" Straight away the pencil broke, so I said, actually - I need, not pencils, pencils are hopeless, I need like a pen. just a simple, biro pen or something. And as for the piece of paper, it's just a scrap piece of paper, I need a little exercise book - you know, nothing fancy, just a little exercise book, and also you know the candle is very, very difficult to write, it's bad for your eyes, just you know, reading or writing by candle light. What I wanted is one of these little oil lamps, little lamps you know, you see maybe on the boats, over here in Australia, just a little oil lamp, and a bit of kerosene, and talking about lights, my flash light was really terrible, and I needed a new flash light, and some batteries - and I put all of those things down. I suddenly realised one hundred baht, was not enough. And you know, it was so difficult to actually take any of those things off the list now, Cos now I thought about it, I don't know how I survived without them. I mean how can you survive, you know, and actually I needed some new sandals, you know, if I'm going to be walking through those forests, I needed some more new sandals, and actually talking about pieces of paper, I really needed to write to my family, I needed these aerograms. And soon, a thousand bahts was not enough. And every one of those items I put on the list, now was so important to me, I just could not scratch any one off. And that's when I had the insight, I realised what's this thing was doing to me. At that point, I screwed up that piece of paper, and I threw it in the waste bin, this little spittoon we had. And the following day, when that man came, I scolded him, "Don't you ever do that to me ever again. I was such a happy monk, before you gave me one hundred dollars. Or a hundred baht, now I had all these desires."

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  • Mummy, you're nicer after meditation

    In brief: A tired Armadale Tuesday-night mother almost skips class until her six-year-old insists she go — because she is a much nicer mummy when…

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    my child sent me my six-year-old mummy are you going to meditation tonight now I don't feel like it mummy you must go to meditation tonight no not tonight I'm too tired mummy go to meditation why darling because you're a much nicer mummy when you come home for meditation

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  • I don't hit sleepy meditators — I send them to bed

    In brief: An audience mention of a Japanese Soto (captioned Hai/Dogen) monastery that hits sleepy monks prompts him to disagree: prisoners who saw…

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    there's a Zen Monastery It's A Hai Monastery over in Japan it used to founded by this monk doen about 700 almost 800 years ago now 750 years ago and uh that was supposed to um get them um awake stop their sloth and toper I totally disagree with that I remember just when I was teaching uh some of the prisoners I showed them that documentary oh they were really upset said if if you tried that on me A J rob you'd be you'd be minc me you'd be dead don't wor you don't really need to do that I think that too harsh you know sometimes of Buddism they are too harsh like kindness is much better so if you know and many of you who've been meditating Retreats with me if somebody is that sleepy I don't hit them on the back what I do is say if you want to sleep go to bed

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  • Bangkok air-con room — no sloth and torpor

    In brief: After sleep-deprived NE Thai forest conditions, a stay in Bangkok with decent food, sleep, no mosquitoes and an air-conditioned meditation…

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    went to Bangkok I got decent food a good night's sleep no mosquitoes and they're not in the buildings there and we managed to find an air-conditioned room to meditate in. You know what? No sloth and torpor at all. I could meditate just really easily simply because it was the supporting conditions

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