# Tea-plantation monastery — 3 to 4 pm sexy time

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-tea-plantation-monastery-unmonkish-thoughts
- Themes: meditation, desire, monastic life, kindness
- Life situations: on retreat, early monastic years

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

After five years, young Brahm finds an abandoned mountain monastery in a tea plantation — ideal utopia; meditation gets worse; 'unmonkish' thoughts flood. He schedules 3–4 pm for any thought — and in that hour every breath is easy. Fighting the mind fails; letting go works.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

after five years as a monk i was allowed to go out the monastery to travel around stay by myself visit some other teachers board my experience and i go to this wonderful monastery perfect monastery i was english monk you know how i like my tea this was in the middle of a tea plantation in north of thailand everywhere i looked there were two bushes i had as much tea fresh tea as i wanted beautiful cave and the monastery was up in the mountains it was the right temperature not too hot there's no westerners so like it cooled just the right temperature and even better than that no other monks were in this abandoned monastery because it was too peaceful for them to me that was brilliant nice i can really do some nice meditation here and i didn't need to give any talks the lay people would come just they wanted to feed me that's all nothing else it was like idyllic utopia so i had all the time to meditate you know what happened my meditation got worse and worse and worse more and more crazy these thoughts were coming into my mind first of all there's no ordinary thoughts restless planning whatever and then you started getting what i keep calling unmonkished thoughts and i was only our day when i was 23. so this is 28 28 29. you know still had it long gone now but i thought that was old girl i wonder if she's still available let's stop it and always well you know that i'm still young enough i still got a good degree i can go and teach meditation as a living you know i'd do this and do that stop it because i really wanted to be a monk but every time i tried to watch my breath bring my mind back onto the breath my mind would go off again bring it back to the breath it would go off again and it got worse and worse and worse until i thought i was going mad crazy i just could not stop these unmonkeys thoughts coming up so what i did there's no one to speak to that monastery i was by myself they had a buddha statue i bowed to the buddha statue and asked for help and the inspiration which came up was do a deal you know i was trained in the west okay deals no mr trump the deal was this i would watch my breath for most of the day but i'd set aside one hour every afternoon from 3 p.m to 4 p.m for any thought goes sexy thoughts weird thoughts romance thoughts that was my sexy time as a monk okay i'm being honest with you up front but that's three to four p.m every afternoon if you mind what's the thing about that that's the time the rest of the time you behave i thought that was compromise you know what happened the mind was as crazy as ever i just couldn't stop those thoughts you know you were aware i was mindful my goodness i was mindful but they kept coming back in again i could not stop them and so it came to three o'clock exhausted i went against the wall like no many people do put my feet out okay now any sexy thought you want weird fantasizing deviant whatever okay and this is no exaggeration the next one hour i watched every breath without missing one so easy and that really threw me what is happening there that was data raw data as a scientist how come when i was fighting my mind all these thoughts would keep coming in and as soon as i let go my mind watched every breath without missing one easy relaxed and that taught me a lot mindfulness is not good enough you need a bit of wisdom and kindness

## Teaching point

Perfect conditions amplify restlessness; kindness and letting go beat forced mindfulness.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

In a perfect mountain monastery among tea plantations, young Ajahn Brahm found his meditation getting worse, flooded with unmonkish thoughts. So he scheduled them for three to four each afternoon, and in that hour every breath came easily. Fighting the mind failed; kindness worked. Mindfulness alone isn't enough. Befriend yourself.

## Source

- [Secular Mindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 27 October 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGjXEM1HZ54) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 28:07 to 32:38: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGjXEM1HZ54&t=1687s

Other tellings of this story:

- [The Ten Ox-Herder's Pictures | Ajahn Brahm | 06-02-2009](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PV4Rdpe7BVw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 32:29 to 34:56: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PV4Rdpe7BVw&t=1949s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 1 December 2018](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQPWbdvHId0) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:06:11 to 1:08:27: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQPWbdvHId0&t=3971s
- [Faith and Relics | Ajahn Brahm | 9 January 2026](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ9hM2PnWTw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 27:15 to 32:09: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ9hM2PnWTw&t=1635s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 30 May 2026](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5YDQeyEJzI) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:06:16 to 1:08:51: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5YDQeyEJzI&t=3976s
- [4. Not What You Do, But How You Do It - November 2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNVfFwJMUbE) (BSWA Retreats 2011-15 & Media) — watch from 43:42 to 45:29: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNVfFwJMUbE&t=2622s
- [2023 April (3/19) | 9 day Retreat | Ajahn Brahm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPllNABzV_A) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:02:26 to 1:06:43: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPllNABzV_A&t=3746s
- [5 Noble Truth Meditations](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7Gd2g7batw) (BSWA Retreats 2011-15 & Media) — watch from 17:40 to 21:24: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7Gd2g7batw&t=1060s
- [02. Day 1 - Evening Talk. Ajahn Brahm Retreat at Bandarawela, Sri Lanka 2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6wlHHkPdb8) (BSWA Retreats 2011-15 & Media) — watch from 33:24 to 36:29: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6wlHHkPdb8&t=2004s