Insure the house — live in a prison

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• The tiger that was a mouse

  In brief: Meditating alone at night deep in the Thai jungle, Ajahn Brahm hears rustling. As a Cambridge-trained scientist he assesses it: a small…

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  so I was meditating in the jungle really dark no lights had a sort of flashlight but it was you know had to conserve the power and there was no mobile phones no one took court if there was any danger there deep in the jungle alone meditating now the jungle can be really peaceful at first especially you know when they see Carters you know start to die down after Sunset you'll be very peaceful and very cool you know Tyler is a very hot country but in the forest the shade of the trees maybe it's just the oxygen which they give up gives a beautiful atmosphere it's really cool and very peaceful and so secluded hardly any disturbances at all so I was getting into some really nice deep meditation until I heard a sound there's always something in the jungle crawling around and so I was mindful as you know I've been practicing this for years I was very mindful I didn't need to open my eyes if I did I couldn't say anything it was pitched dark I just listened and and assessed I was brought up as a scientist in Cambridge University so I did some like assessment gather some data and use some reason and by the sound of this animal it was only just you know not really crushing leaves it was just a little bit of rustling in the leaves so I assessed it and said oh it's only maybe a small little animal just you know walking through the jungle nothing to be afraid of so then I started meditating again but then after another couple of minutes I realized it was coming much closer and as it was closer I could hear it more clearly and I realized no no it's not a small animal it's a medium-sized one you could tell by the way it was actually crashing the leaves and breaking the Twigs but still nothing to be really afraid of and then when it got really close wow that's not a medium-sized one that's a big one because the way it was making a noise it must be something really heavy to actually to break not tweaks but like almost like small branches and crushing the leaves on the forest floor because you can't walk in the forest without any noise there's too much undergrowth and too much leaves litter on the ground this was a big animal that was dangerous and I got really scared and I picked up my flashlight and you know the waste of time for that really was a tiger that just tell you the tiger where you were but that's how stupid you are you pick up your flashlight and you look for it where's the big tiger and then I saw it I saw it just not that far in front of me this tiny Mouse about this big that's what it was and that tiny Mouse had been making us more noise but it was my fear with an exaggerated that sound into thinking it really was a tiger

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• The ghost at the toilet door

  In brief: After a funeral, a terrified 11-year-old novice stays in the hall all night; at 2 a.m. he dashes to the outdoor toilet, hears scratching…

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  I remember this story - this poor little novice staying in our monastery in Thailand. Because it was a cremation monastery that day was the moon day when we would meditate all night...that poor little novice, we did a funeral that day, and were supposed to meditate all night... in the hall. Now usually, little novices, they are only about 11-12 years of age, there is no way they would stay up all night, they would sneak off in the middle of their night back to their house. We knew they did this, it was breaking the rules, but they were only small little monks, so we didn't mind. And we've go to be kind.. Not this day. This night, that little novice, he would not leave the hall. [Laughter]. Because he was just so afraid of the ghost. See even the [Laughter]. Those dogs must have been reborn in Thailand. Last night. [Laughter]. Great special effects. Now these, here they go again. [Laughter]. Shut up, dogs! [Laughter]. There, they're going now. Now these ghosts, or rather this little novice, the poor little novice, stuck in that hall, you know 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock, too scared to go out. When it got to about 2 o'clock in the morning he just couldn't hold his urine any longer. He had to go to the toilet. And the trouble is the toilet was about 20 meters outside the hall. [Some laughter]. In the darkness. So this poor little, you can imagine what he felt like, he had the pain in his bladder against the fear of that ghost getting him. So he made a run for it - desperation. He ran and he got to the toilet, locked the door. He'd only been in that toilet for about a few minutes when he heard the steps. [Laughter]. And it came right to the toilet cubicle he was in and started scratching. Can you get a scratch..? [Scratches tissue box]. I tried to get some special effects.. for the tape [Laughter]. A scratch at the door..and this poor little novice didn't come out of that toilet cubicle for about 3 hours. [Laughter]. And when he came out he was telling us - the ghost came to get him! The ghost! And he heard it, he heard it scratching. Another monk saw that ghost.. You know what it was? It was a civet cat. Like a possum. Those of you who've been to Asia know they've got squat toilets. The toilets are actually on the floor, and that little possum, civet cat, every evening he would go into that toilet cubicle to get some water to drink from the toilet bowl. That was his drinking place. And so that evening all that happened was this little possum walked to that toilet and was scratching the door - "please let me in, I'm thirsty". [Laughter]. But that little novice [laughs], he was a ghost coming to get me! And you can actually see how because of wrong thinking, and because there was a funeral that day, thinking all day, thinking all evening, and what was just a little jungle cat, just coming for a drink, he thought it was a ghost and he was in that toilet for about 3 or 4 hours - poor little novice.

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• 'Nothing wrong with being crazy'

  In brief: At Cambridge in the 1970s a friend who had taken LSD came up to Ajahn Brahm saying, 'I think I'm going crazy.' Ajahn Brahm told him,…

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  what my friends this was in the ' 70s even though I never took these drugs myself know he took some LSD one day when I was at Cambridge and I remember just uh seeing him know bumping up to him and he came up to me and said I think I'm going crazy I'm going mad and sometimes people do go crazy actually he is now he a very wealthy act one of the most conservative um suit ridden persons you could ever imagine if I actually told his boss what he did when he was at College he'd get kicked out of the company but nevertheless I would never say such things but at the time that he took some LSD and he thought he was going crazy and I remember just going up and say well nothing wrong with being crazy just be crazy it's all right and then of course he calmed down it was a fear of going crazy which was driving him crazy

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• The only ones running for shelter

  In brief: A New Zealander, a late member of the society — reportedly the first New Zealander to escape from a prisoner-of-war camp in Europe —…

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  one of our members who was here you know during that time most of these people are dead now you know he a New Zealander you know he escaped from a prison of war camp in Europe apparently the first New Zealander to actually escape he came back over to UK he was in London the first time he heard an air raid siren and you know he was in uniform he was a soldier and as soon as he heard the air raid Simon, he ran for an underground station when he realized that him and his soldier mate were the only two running into the station. and everyone were going around their business as normal. And he felt so embarrassed that the two soldiers were the only ones showing any fear and everyone else and people at the bus stop reading their newspaper, people just walking, chatting to each other, women were doing their shopping and he thought, "Wow, these people are not afraid." And they were so impressed with that attitude.

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