Cursed in the market

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

This was of the husband who had the afternoon off work and afternoon off work and his wife said, "Darling, look, this was not in Australia. This was in Asia somewhere. Hey, darling. Look, I I I haven't got enough um eggs to make the dinner this evening. Could you go to the market and just get me some eggs, please? You got a free afternoon. I Yeah, sure. No worry at all. I'll get you some eggs. But he never been to the market before. So, his wife had to give him a little mud map. Give him the basket. Here's the basket. This is where you put the eggs and here's the money. because you know you know sometimes you need to do that with husbands. [laughter] So off he went happily helping his darling wife to get some eggs from the market for for dinner that evening. And as soon as he got into this marketplace, just minding his own business, this young boy came right up to him almost nose tonose with a very aggressive manner and said, "I'd never seen you before, but you are the ugliest," is the young man saying to the nice husband, "You are the ugliest person I've ever seen in my life. You're so ugly. You make even the back end of a camel look more beautiful than you are. And I don't know what sort of after shave you've been using, but it smells like dog poo. [laughter] Now, actually, that's all of the nasty words which I know because I'm a very good monk. I'm sure you can make up more nasty words, but anyway, all those nasty words. This time in the story, I usually tell about the nastiest curse which I've ever heard. Actually, no. The second, okay, two nastiest curs curses [snorts] and all companies are from the Middle East. And I was just chatting with sort of a Muslim fellow once in an airport. You know, when you're in an airport, you got to do something so you get some really good stories for your next talk. So he told me, he said, "The worst curse in the Middle East, if you really want to upset somebody, actually the two worst curse, this is the second worst curse." And the second worst curse is to tell somebody, "May the fleas from a thousand camels infest your armpits." [laughter] The fleas, you know, fleas from a thousand camels infest your armpits. Well, it's got some style, I suppose. I personally laugh at that. Please don't do that to your wife, your husband, or please don't do that to your boss when you go to work on Monday. But the worst one was even more profound. And the worst, you know, the worst curse, I think it must have come from the Sufi tradition in the Middle East. The worst curse you can give to somebody is may you get everything you want as soon as you want it. And I thought after hearing that first curse in the second worse and that worst curse, wow, that really blew me away. May you get everything you want as soon as you want it. Is that heaven? It's not at all be because a lot of time know your life is about working hard striving to make things better. If you got everything straight away which was wonderful the meaning of your life will be gone. You can think about that when you go home. But anyway because it doesn't happen. So it's only an idea. But anyway going going back to this young boy. So really swearing, really letting this this uh husband just really just be so criticized, so badly defamed, cursed or whatever. And so the husband couldn't take it. Said, "I don't even know you. Why you picking on me?" And the husband just turned around and went straight back home. When he went home, bang the door, his wife said, "You're home early, dear. We don't want to go that stupid market ever again. Those people in the market are just so bad manned, so illtempered. I don't knowah is really angry. But of course, like many wives, you know how to deal with angry husbands. You just one of the ways to deal with anger is to speak slowly. And after a while, of course, he calms down. But anyway, when he did calm down, she asked him, "What happened to you?" And he said, "I went to that stupid market and this young man came along, he started again." And she once he finished, he said, "Oh, him." You know, he does that to everybody. That poor young boy when he was very young he fell over and hit his head and his brain damaged. The poor young boy can never go to school. Poor young man can never get a job. He can't find another person to share his life with. So we just allow him to come to the market. And he he curses me. Much worse than that sometimes. He curses everybody from time to time. He's only he's got brain damage. That's all. And as soon as he realized the reason he was being cursed, nothing wrong with the the husband, it was it was just a a sickness in the boy. And so he calmed down. And as soon as his wife saw that he calmed down, his wife said, "Um, I still need those eggs." So he turned around and went back into the market. And when he went back into the market, this young boy criticized him again, cursed him, sweared at him. But this time it didn't matter. The poor boy, he got brain damage. And so he went to buy the eggs and the lady selling the eggs. Don't worry about him. He's bad. Yeah, I know. What a shame. And he managed to get cursed for half an hour in the market. And it didn't hurt him at all. Why? Cuz he's being criticized by someone with brain damage. What's the meaning of that story? If your wife comes home from work and she starts criticizing you and cursing you, isn't I got to switch it around. [laughter] It's It's nothing to do with you. [laughter] Just assume that somebody's hit her on the head that day and she's got brain damage temporarily. Because in Buddhism, all anger is temporary brain damage.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 20:45 (to 28:07)