Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

The pickaxe mum whose son won Iron Chef

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Bringing Up Children | Ajahn Brahm | 09-12-2011

2 min read

Content note: teen sexuality; named workplace

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

she was one of the first disciples she was always bringing Danna to the first monks know a and Ja and myself and whenever we're doing any building work she'll come come up and help I remember that first building we did down at bodana Monastery the ablution block and very stupid Builders at that time we built It On Solid Rock and we tried to sort of break the rock up you know to put places for the plumbing and there she was you know this 30 40 year old mother with a pickaxe attacking this rock she was such a tough lady and she had four children and none of them did well at school but they're brilliant kids in life and they still come and see me from time to time and every time they come I just so impressed how well they've done in life and one of those kids uh you may get to know who he is but I'm trying to sort of keep these stories Anonymous he is the the head chef of scotch college and about a year ago sort of he entered iron chef competition on TV and apparently he's the only person ever to have won it and I I knew he'd do that because the way he was brought up his I went to see his mother when she was just before she was dying in her home and she had this big queen bed I've never seen a bed that big you know you had to squeeze past it to get in the room it took you know 80% of the room and I asked this was about how many years ago about 15 years ago now they said why you got such a big for it's so for my son so when he brings his girlfriend home he's got somewhere to stay with her and I was really shocked you know it's only 17y old boy uh son he said no he's going to do that anyway so in home give him a good bed and that was this boy one M Iron Chef brilliant sort of motherhood CU he understood her kids and said okay if you a girl you know quite likely they're going to have sex before marriage so make sure that you know they you understand that accept that and just make sure they've got the protection and say that Mom and Dad are here you know if anything goes wrong you know you don't have to be embarrassed just tell your mom what's happened I won't criticize you I won't shun you I won't be ashamed of you because you know in my community you're not supposed to do that no please never make your children feel ashamed or don't be ashamed of your children for whatever they do

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 47:14 (to 50:04)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A pioneering supporter who swung a pickaxe for the monastery's plumbing raised children who struggled at school but flourished in life. She never shamed them for anything. Ajahn Brahm's own father told him: whatever you do, I'm your dad. Unconditional love lets children come to you with anything.

In brief (our summary)

An early Bodhinyana disciple helped smash rock for the ablution-block plumbing with a pickaxe, raised four kids who did poorly at school but brilliantly in life — one became head chef at Scotch College and the only person (as he heard it) to win Iron Chef on TV. Near her death her huge queen bed was for her 17-year-old son to bring a girlfriend home — better at home, safe, with Mum there if anything went wrong.

Teaching point

Understanding and accepting kids beats forcing school glory; love without shame.

When this story may help

  • child not academic
  • teen sexuality
  • single parenting

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Bringing Up Children | Ajahn Brahm | 09-12-2011 · 2011-12-10 · ▶ watch from 47:14 to 50:04 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned. 'Danna' = dāna; 'a and Ja' = Ajahn Jagaro; 'one M Iron Chef' garbled; 'CU' = because.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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