Please — no jokes after the hysterectomy

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• A dog called Chemo

  In brief: A doctor friend in Melbourne has a big Labrador she named 'Chemo'. She was training it to visit hospital wards, because stroking a gentle…

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  there's one of my friends over in Melbourne, now that's Priya Mendes [?] and she’s got this big dog and it was Labrador wasn’t it, and when I saw it, I said “what's its name” and she gave it the name, she's a doctor, she gave it the name “Chemo”. Chemo the dog, that's a really weird name, why do you name it Chemo? She said “because I'm training this dog to be one of these dogs who goes into wards with people who are very, very sick, because we all know that if you take a little dog or a cat or a rabbit into a ward where people are very sick, just being able to pet that dog, to stroke it, have this beautiful soft animal in there, the compassion which a small animal or even a big animal generates amongst human beings has a very strong positive effect on people's recovery. They actually get better. Having a beautiful dog to play with in the ward, it makes you sort of, gets up all your, what's it called, the, not serotonin, all these endomorphines, all this beautiful health things in your body, you all know better than I do... but you know it really works. So that's why she called her dog Chemo because it was short for chemotherapy, that was a little joke, she's a good student of mine, has got a stupid sense of humor just like me. [laughter] So Chemo, Chemo the dog, and of course that dog went into so many wards in its life, healing people, helping people, that dog must have made huge amounts of good karma just by generating compassion in other beings.

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• The chanting worked too well

  In brief: Invited to chant for a dying Chinese man in Royal Perth Hospital's ICU, Ajahn Brahm chants his strongest — and the man goes into…

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  But this was the story of when I got called to go to Royal Perth Hospital, by a family of this Chinese fellow who was passing away. They said ‘you've got to come quick, he's really really sick, he's in the ICU, maybe only an hour or two to go’. So I rushed into the hospital, got up to the ICU, saw the family, just said ‘hello, I’ve arrived, I’ll see what I can do’. Went into the ICU, stood by the bed of this guy who was totally unconscious, obviously close to death. And I really gave full power chanting. Now this doesn't always work, but that day I was really on song. You know, that’s just like people playing football or tennis, sometimes you just ‘crack!’ - the ball always goes in. And this was one of those days I was just really on my game. And I chanted and chanted and chanted… He came out of coma. It was like a miracle. And it doesn't always happen, very rarely actually, but this time it actually did. He came out of comma, the daughters were amazed, he was gonna survive now. So when I went out, feeling all good about myself, and then went out to see the family, and said ‘oh well, I really did it, he came out of the coma, he's probably gonna live now'. And that's when the S.H.I.T hit the fan. Because these were the family who'd come from Taiwan, Hong Kong, mainland China. They stopped all their work, they got these expensive flights, a moment's notice; they came over to be with their patriarch for the last few hours of his life, they had already arranged the funeral service. [Laughter] Now they're gonna have to stop it and cancel it and they say ‘you have cost us a lot of money, Ajahn Brahm’. He's gonna die again, maybe in another six months, he comes back again and dies properly, but this time - no. [laughter] So they were not happy with me at all. All that way - stopping.. [laughter] I got no donations for the monastery, not even for the cost of the petrol in the car [laughter]. I never heard from them again. [laughter] So that was my mistake. What would you do, when you make mistakes like that, you learn. So now, when I go to the hospital, [laughter] I ask first of all, ‘what type of chanting do you want?' “Get-better” chant, or “die-peacefully

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• No visitors — except Ajahn Brahm

  In brief: A Tibetan nun dying in Shenton Park hospice asked him to come, but the nurse barred visitors until small print under 'absolutely no…

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  absolutely no visitors. It said and the nurse said see I had a look but actually underneath in small print were the words except Ajan Brown. And I looked at that nurse

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• Sanctuary — the temple cat on the monk's lap

  In brief: Kitten brought into the meditation hall chooses an adopter; later another cat, seeing its owner arrive to collect it, jumps onto Brahm's…

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  gave me this kitten and I brought it into this room here and when I was meditating I let it just go loose and it went on people's laps rubbed past them and the cat chose its new owner actually it was almost a fight because two or three people saw that little kid and said can I I have it please they got any more and they said no it's already chosen you and so they took it back and they adopted it especially Buddhists I must admit you're all such kind loving people so if a cat comes here they really enjoy themselves we do have a another cat who comes here I haven't seen it this weekend but it comes here and imagine a little cat it lives around the back here somewhere it's got an owner but the little cat comes and plays with you and never gets chased away and sometimes you get special food and that little kitten or cat it really likes we found I tried to give it some milk he didn't like the milk he really likes chicken and as soon as I say that people find find some chicken somewhere or other to feed the little kitten and so the kitten comes and if you're too busy to give it a nice stroke of a pat it goes to so many other people it gets patted so much much more than it will ever get patted in its own home that's why little kittens or cats they love this place even here I remember once there was another cat years ago used to come here every Saturday afternoon because Saturday after afternoon after the meditation it would actually play in a reception area here crawl all over people get stroked here stroked there get give him some special treats I remember that little cat because then one day know the secretary in there got a call and it was from the owner of the cat she said she was moving today is my cat there I said yeah it's here he playing with the monks I said well I'm moving today I've got to come and collect it and so I remember her coming in and walking into the reception area and the cat was actually just playing in front of me and as soon as the cat saw the owner to come and collect it you know what that cat did I'm not exaggerating it jumped right onto my lap you could read its little cat mind Sanctuary Sanctuary Sanctuary

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