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• “I forgive. No payback.”

  In brief: At a Curtin University human-rights course, Dennis Eggington (later head of the Aboriginal Legal Service) tells Ajahn Brahm of a funeral…

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  I gave a talk maybe a year or two ago in Curtin University, as part of the human rights course, Human Rights and Religion. And one of the students at that human rights course was Dennis Eggington. He's now the head of the aboriginal legal, what's it called? Aboriginal legal support group, whatever. Sorry? Aboriginal Legal Service. Yeah. Often see them in the paper. And during my talk he said, 'It's amazing what you've just been talking about', because he had an experience a couple of weeks before. A couple of drunk drivers had rammed in to a car containing two Aboriginal boys and killed them. And these two Aboriginal boys were really good students, were not getting in to any sort of trouble at all. Were doing really well at school, very promising, really good guys. The cream of the crop. And they'd been killed by these stupid drunk drivers. The problem was, the drunk drivers were also Aboriginal. And at the funeral service, because it was all Noongars, everybody had to be there. The two drivers were in custody but the father and other relations of those two drivers had to attend the funeral ceremony. Together with the relations of the two boys who had died. Noongar custom meant there had to be payback. And payback means if you can't give payback to the people who killed your children, to the closest relations. So the whole crematorium, it was in Karrakatta, I think he said, was so tense. Because no one knew when payback would happen. In the middle of the service the father of one of the boys who had died got up and before, there was police there, and before the police could stop him went for the father of one of the murderers. One of the boys who had killed his son. Went for him, hugged him and said, 'I forgive. No payback.' He'd broken the custom. But everybody was so impressed. Even though he was quite young, at that time they made him an elder. The person who was wise, who gained the respect of the whole community. It's amazing just what the power of forgiveness can do. It can change a whole custom.

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• The wild horse that kissed the coffin

  In brief: Gerald in Hong Kong sent a photo-story: a man tamed a wild horse with only kindness and patience — no hitting or starving — until the…

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  there was a horse which no one could actually tame a wild horse and he decided to give it a try but not training it by hitting it or starving it or punishing it in any which way but just being patient and being kind and of course it took him a long time but after a while this horse you know would allow him to ride on on the horse's back became like an ordinary horse people thought it could never be they used the word broken that's a terrible word to use to break a horse he just used kindness and patience and this horse you know would always you know be this guy's friend would would greet him you know when he would come home from some other business he would greet him by actually putting his mouth on the on the mouth of this owner was actually kissing him but then unfortunately after so many years the owner died and passed away and this guy in hong kong gerald sent this beautiful photograph with the story of when this guy was in the coffin dead the horse came up and kissed his friend kissed the coffin obviously even that horse recognized that this that was his friend i just gave it one last kiss and this is those sorts of stories

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• The twin who forgave at Auschwitz

  In brief: Ajahn Brahm recalls an article about a woman who, as an identical twin at Auschwitz, was subjected to the experiments of Dr Mengele's…

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  remember reading this article [snorts] about a lady and one of these articles which really moved me that she was in Awitz. [snorts] When she was in Awitz, she was there because she was a younger uh sister of a twin. And when they discovered they were identical twins, they're so not younger sister but identical twin. They were forced to go on this program of experimentation. I think the name of the doctor at the time, Dr. Mangali, I think it was this was doc, one of Dr. Mangali's assistants, she remembered as her sister, the other twin was basically just treated so badly and tortured and killed. as an experiment. His other sister survived and after many many many years she discovered the location of one of the doctors who had helped Dr. Mangali and according to the story which she wrote she invited the person who had basically tortured and killed and her sister to meet her in Awitz. This is a true story. when he met them there sort of she forgave him say said look I've been I found you and I've been hating you and hating what happened to my sister all my life now you're here I don't want to be a victim anymore I want to be a victor so she forgave

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• Two child killings, two societies

  In brief: Ajahn Brahm recalls an article comparing two similar tragedies. In England, a toddler (Jamie Bulger) was abducted from a Liverpool…

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  Some few years ago, I should've kept this article because there was a brilliant article, it was concerning the killers of Jamie Bulger, (whatever his name was) this young -- was it two or three year old -- who was abducted in the shopping center in Liverpool tortured and killed on the railway track by some, was it, eight or nine year old children. And the whole culture of England at the time especially driven by the tabloid press, was wanting the blood of those two killers even though they were very, very young and they'd done a terrible terrible thing. To take the life of a two year old, and it's not just one person's death it's all the tears and the anxiety and the stress and the devastation of all of the people who knew that child, let alone the parents. But what I never knew at the time was pointed out in this article was that at about the same time a similar event happened in Norway in the town of Trondheim, north of Oslo where I think, two boys lured (I think) a girl into the snowfields, and had similarly killed her. And the similarities between the crimes were very close. But what was very dissimilar was the way those two societies dealt with the problem. As many of you know, the Jamie Bulger case, those two kids were put into some detention center, and the tabloid press just wanted them to be really punished hard and the parents were just waiting for them to be released so they could kill them. And even the public did not want them to be released. I read in the newspapers there was some idea of sending them to Australia where they wouldn't be known, new identities so they could live their life and the British public was saying, "No they don't deserve any freedom." That's what I read. With those other two kids the following day after they were caught they both went to school accompanied by psychiatrists and a social worker. They were not put into any punitive institution. Very, very soon, the mother and father of the child who died came to a closure, came to forgiveness and moved on in their life. Whereas the parents of Jamie Bulger never moved on as far as I know. The whole town of Trondheim came to a closure. They realized a terrible act, but the only way to move forward is not to wish harm on the killers. So many years later, one of the killers of that (I think it was a) little girl in Trondheim is perfectly well adjusted having a successful life completed the education, had really moved on, and so did the family and the rest of town. There's one of the killers still has social problems and some psychological problems, but nowhere near like the pain which was spread around England because of the Jamie Bulger case. To see those two separate accounts of a similar tragedy, one where there were many victims and their victimhood was, I dare to say, cherished and attached to and made much of. And the other one, where rehabilitation was the main aim and goal, to see the effects of those two cases I sure wish I'd lived in Norway than in England.

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