# She called me a pig — three more times

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Analogy
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-called-a-pig-three-more-times
- Themes: forgiveness, rumination, insults, letting go
- Life situations: replaying insults, workplace bullying, family digs

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

If someone calls you a pig and you keep replaying it — she's got no right, why did she — a wise person sees you've just let her call you a pig three more times. Every memory is another insult.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

If someone calls you a pig, what do most people do? They keep reflecting on that. She called me a pig. She's got no right to call me a pig. Why did she call me a pig? And a wise person realizes you've just allowed her to call you a pig three more times. Every time you remember it, they're calling you a pig one more time

## Teaching point

Replaying an insult hands the other person more free hits.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Someone calls you a pig, and you replay it: how dare she, why would she? Ajahn Brahm points out you've just let her call you a pig three more times. Every replay repeats the insult. Let hurtful words land once, and only once. Don't cherish the pain by retelling it.

## Source

- [Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 09-07-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 29:49 to 30:26: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo&t=1789s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Entanglement | Ajahn Brahm | 17 March 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfFCyORlZP4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:04:34 to 1:05:08: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfFCyORlZP4&t=3874s