Stories for arguments
6 Buddhist wisdom stories for arguments from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- “I never argued with anyone”Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A fit 90-year-old says the secret of his long life is that he never argued with anyone. “That can't be right,” says the interviewer. “Ah… I agree with you.”
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this man he was ah 90 years of age on his birthday still very fit and healthy and they was interviewed in the in the newspapers 90 years of age and you're still fit and healthy what's the secret of your fitness and health and long life he said cuz I never argued with anyone all my life and the interviewer said that can't be right and he said ah I ask I agree with you
- In Laos, war stops for lunchStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A monk friend, in Luang Prabang during the war between the communists and royalists, is eating lunch at a bamboo-and-thatch restaurant beside government soldiers whose M16s lean…
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I remember one of the stories this I never saw this myself but this was told to me by one of my friends who was a monk he was in luang probang the second the city of Laos doing the the war with the Communists and the royalists and this is actually how you relax he was at one of these little restaurants you know they would fare every occupational health and safety regulation in Australia but the food was delicious you know dirty but great food bamboo and thatch that's all there was and he'd go there for his lunch he was sitting at a table eating some delicious meal and he did notice there was a government soldiers they were sitting at another table having their lunch with the M16 the old machine gun rifles leaning against the wall this was lunchtime and he was enjoying his lunch when his heart almost stopped when he saw the Communist soldiers came in they called potato at the time these were the enemy this was a watch in the Vietnam War times and the the Communists came into the restaurant and he went to dive under the table but no one else was trying to escape or dive under the table because they saw the enemy troops the Communist troops they just looked around and chose another table they put their guns against the wall and they ordered their lunch because in Laos at that time War always stops for lunch oh would it be a wonderful thing if even these days people get their priorities right and lost they'd always have a lunch break when you're free fighting a war and that's what they did those days and of course afterwards said what happened next after lunch was over all of them they had some understanding the you know the Communist troops would go one way the rewarders will go the other way so they would have to meet each other
- It wasn't the flag or the wind — your mouths were movingJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Two monks argue whether the flag or the wind is moving; a Zen master says their minds are moving. Unsatisfied, they ask a Theravada forest ajahn, who says they are all wrong: it…
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the conflict of the two monks who were watching the flag latter and one monk said look at that the flag is fluttering and the other one said no the wind is moving not the flag and they had an argument this is I'm going to use this as a metaphor later on and they couldn't solve the argument was the wound wind moving or the flag moving so they went to see the Zen Monk and the sand monk said you were both wrong it wasn't the flag moving it wasn't the wind moving your minds were moving and they weren't satisfied with that either so the three of them the two monks and the Zen master went to go and see the theravada forest adjun and he said you are all wrong it wasn't the flag movie it wasn't the wind moving it wasn't your mind's moving the problem was your mouths were moving and that is that the important part that's actually a little bit of a joke and I was actually saw that in a list of jokes not because your mind moves because your mouth moves that's where the conflict starts from
- Seven blind Australians and the kangarooAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Brahm adapts the blind-men-and-elephant into seven blind Australians feeling a kangaroo — tail like a snake, legs like a boomerang, pouch like a handbag, joey like a teddy bear —…
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once there were seven blind Australians and they've never ever seen a kangaroo before even living in this country but they always they've heard about a kangaroo and they wonder what a kangaroo actually is so they decided you know the seven blind Australians so go and find a kangaroo and feeling find out what a kangaroo really is so one of them managed to find a kangaroo and felt the tail and fair oh the tail that's like a snake and the one who felt the legs said oh no no elephant is a boomerang is this way the bent the one who felt the pouch said oh an elephant is a handbag a lady's handbag one who felt the Joey inside said an elephant is a teddy bear I'm making this up as I go along by the way the one who felt the if you ever seen the kangaroo's pores it's a back scratcher you know if you're using a bathroom it's scratch the one who fell how where am I going now one of felt the the ears what's the ears like the ears like a radar because they go back and those are the ears actually move different directions and the one who felt their head wasn't going to be the head it's like it's like a deer isn't it so they all argued one elephant was an elephant because elephant is a boomerang no it's not it's a snake that's a back scratcher it's a Hermes bag handbag for women now it's got two heads one of the top one at the bottom oh the middle rather and they all argued about what an kangaroo was now the point of that similarly you know it's usually just a simile of the no blind man and the the elephant the purpose of that simile is to point out that each one of these were people were right you know the one who felt the tail actually felt the tail they weren't imagining this it wasn't some sort of Illusion on drugs or something it actually felt it it was real and to them it did appear like a snake and the one who felt sort of the the pout it does feel like a lady's handbag if you've never actually seen it before and it's nice and soft it's beautiful every one of those thought they were right because they had person experience and now you can understand why we argue with one another because we always really believe that we are right and we've got reasons for that our experience our knowledge our research on the internet I've researched it it's right you research something else other people on the Internet is find something totally different now this is a problem because we always think we're right just like we think just because it goes quack quack it has to be a duck we found that later on we are wrong how many times have you been wrong in life how many times you really really really really really really thought you were right and you turned out to be wrong each one of us has I have many times
- “Sir, you're drunk” — “Madam, you're ugly”Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Brahm tells the 'greatest put-down' he knows, which he attributes to Oscar Wilde: coming out of a bar completely drunk, at a time when drunkenness was a real stigma, he is…
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you can't beat that Oscar Wilde who's greatest put I ever heard: when he came out of some sort of nightclub or some bar, completely drunk, and of course this was a time when being drunk was even worse as a social stigma than it is today. Actually, probably in Australia it's not a social stigma at all. (audience chuckles) an accolade but anyway in those days, when being drunk was considered to be socially unacceptable, he came out drunk and this woman said to him "Sir, you're drunk" and he replied "Madam, you're ugly." (audience laughs) and the killing phrase was "the difference between us: in the morning I'll be sober.
- The professor's overflowing cupStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Japan's greatest philosopher, whom no one will debate, decides to debate the most famous meditation monk. Serving tea, the monk keeps pouring past the full cup, into the saucer,…
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is in that old story of the famous philosopher in Japan many, many years ago. He was a professor not just at one university, but of several universities. And he was so well known. He was the biggest intellectual in the country. And just for a bit of fun, but also for a bit of intellectual stimulation, he would hold these debates with all the other philosophers, but he was so sharp, he was so knowledgeable, that no person would enter into a debate with him because he would always win. And so wondering who to debate next, he thought I will debate a Buddhist monk. They are said to be wise, but they're really stupid; he thought, I'll go and debate the most famous monk in the country and see who wins So he found this monk, this meditation monk and he arranged to have a debate with this monk. And so he went to the monastery with all of his students to debate with this monk, and being in Japan, before the debate actually started. It was the task of the host, the monk, to serve tea to the guest, the professor, and as he was serving tea to the professor, he poured the tea into the cup. And when the cup was full, he carried on pouring and so the water went into the saucer, at which point the professor said to the monk, "My cup is full, you can stop now". But, the monk carried on pouring until it went over to the cup into the saucer over the saucer onto the table, at which point, the Professor thought this monk must be a bit hard of hearing or a bit blind. So, he shouted, "Monk, my cup is full! You can stop now!" At which point, the monk smiled broadly and emptied the whole teapot until it went not just over the cup into the saucer, not just over the saucer onto the table, onto the floor as well! At which point, the professor said, "You stupid monk! I've come all this way to debate with you. And you don't even know how to serve a cup of tea. What an idiot, what a fraud. I wasted my whole time." At which point that monk said, if you haven't heard this story before, it's a great story. He said, "Professor, you are just like this cup. You're so full that no one can pour, any wisdom into you." At which point, the professor went down on his knees and said, "You've won."