Stories about abuse
4 Buddhist wisdom stories about abuse from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- After she died, George missed herStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Thai wife Punup (Poonsup) publicly criticises and orders her Chinese husband George every weekend at the monastery food offering. Ajahn Brahm feels sorry for him — yet when she…
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There was this Thai girl married to a Chinese man. They used to come here many years ago. I know Rodney remembers them. Punup and George. And every time they came here, this Punup, the the wife, she was so abusive to George. She would criticize him in public, shouted him to all the other people who come to offer food on a Saturday, Sunday morning. Said, "George, he's so stupid. He's an idiot. He's a terrible. George, come over here." And poor old George had to come over every time. I was just I felt so sorry for him. But you know when she died and I thought that George be free of this monster of a wife always telling him what to do and just criticize him in public in front of everybody that no he told me he misses her so much. He really missed her and it was really weird. Look, you're free now. You don't have to have all this being criticized in public. But he got used to it.
- 'Dogs don't have money'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Near the US base by Ubon, around the end of the Vietnam War, an African-American soldier rides a rickshaw into town. Drunk friends of the driver shout from a bar, 'Where are you…
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this one American soldier. He was an Afro-American and he got on a cycle rickshaw to be taken from the base over into the town. And so as he went in the cycle rickshaw, just happily just enjoying the scenery, the rickshaw driver just happened to pass some of his friends. Now rickshaw drivers, it’s usually very very hard work, don’t get paid that much, and so maybe it’s because of you know their difficult life that many of them just manage to survive the day by drinking cheap whiskey. He passed many of his friends who had been drinking by the side of the road, and because they were half drunk, they were quite offensive and they saw this black African-American soldier in the back of the taxi, and one of them shouted out very offensively “where are you taking that dirty dog to?” That’s really sort of bad, but this was about 35, 40 years ago, 44 years ago, when I first got there, but this African-American soldier, he wasn’t moved at all. He was just looking at the scenery, just smiling, just enjoying himself. So the driver assumed that he could not understand the local language because this was done in Isan language, a dialect of Thai, Laotian mostly. And so the driver decided to have some fun at the soldier’s expense. And said “See how dirty this African-American soldier is, I’m going to take him into town and throw him in the river for a good wash, hahahaha.” So, the soldier being called a dog, being called dirty, he was just looking at the scenery, smiling, and when he got to the middle of town that is when the soldier got out of the rickshaw and walked away without paying. At which point the rickshaw driver shouted out in the best little English he’d learnt over those years, he said, “Soldier! Fare! Pay money!” At which point the soldier turned around and said in perfect Thai Isan language, “dogs don’t have money.” [laughter] So that was used by Ajahn Chah by saying that if someone does call you a dog, it does mean you don’t have to pay
- My father's resolutionStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: His father never spoke of his own father in Liverpool. At 14 or 15 Ajahn Brahm finally gets it out of him: 'Your grandfather was a bastard.' A plumber, he came home drunk almost…
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My father... he was a very kind man. But he would never tell me about my paternal grandfather, my father's dad. And it was frustrating for me every time I asked him, "How was my grandfather like, in Liverpool?" He then asked me, "Be quiet". And then eventually when I was about 14 or 15, I got it out of my dad. I was persistent, "You got to tell me because this is my family. I never saw them because they died during the second World War before I was born. So, how was my paternal grandfather like, and that is when my dad said, please excuse the word, but this is what he said. He said, "Your grandfather was a bastard." He said it was just so much pain in him. That shocked me. I said, "Why?" He said he was not a sexual offender, but a physical offender. He would come home, almost every evening, drunk. He was a plumber. He'd come back drunk, and he'd take off his belt. He'd whip any kid, which you know, he came across. And then he would start beating his wife, my dad's mum. My dad often said that, the pain of just the end of the belt for no reason at all, just my father was drunk. That would never hurt as much as seeing his mother beaten, for no reason at all. He said that really hurt, because he could do nothing to help someone he loved, my paternal grandmother, whom I never saw. But why I say this story for is what my father did about that. He was a child at the time, he could do nothing, except to make this resolution. He told me, he shared it with me this time. He said, "When I was at the end of a beating for no reason, just because my father was drunk, I made this resolution that if ever I survive and have kids myself; and of course he did, me and my brother. If ever I survive, I will never ever do that to my kids. I won't use corporal punishment at all. I'd always remember that. Because I remember several times, brother and I were naughty, just ordinary kids. And sometimes, he'd come into our bedroom with a slipper. He just couldn't do it. He'd just put the slipper down and walked out, because he remembered just what it was like for him.
- Which of the five horses are you?Analogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Five horses: the first obeys a word; the second needs only the shadow of the whip; the third a light tap; the fourth one hard whack; the fifth is whacked again and again and…
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Once there was five horses and the first horse, a rider would get on its back and just tell it where to go and the horse would comply. The second horse, the rider would have to get out the whip. But there's a shadow fell on the horse and horse. No, I better follow the orders otherwise, you know, I get in trouble. So that's the second horse. He has to only follows orders. is only wise when a shadow of suffering falls on them. The third horse, the owner or the rider has to just tap it slightly, not hurt it, but just tap it, you know, with the whip. And then the horse knows what to do. The fourth horse is so stupid that the owner has to whack it. Ow! But only once. And then the horse realizes a mistake and will never do that again. And the last horse, the fifth horse, whack, whack, whack, whack, ow, ow, ow, ow, and still does the same thing again. So, which horse are you? It's how amazing how many people identify with the fifth horse. Every time you get into trouble, you still don't learn.