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Story · Ajahn Brahm

Toothache in the night

As told by Ajahn Brahm in How to deal with chronic pain | Ajahn Brahm | 04-07-2014

4 min read

Content note: health claim: pain relief through letting go — personal experience, not medical advice

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I told the story of very very very bad tooth ache which I had in the jungles of Thailand. I don't know why I am focusing on teeth this evening [laughter] but this was a very bad toothache. And again there was no telephone, no dentists for miles around, you're in the jungles. And there's no way of getting anywhere: no cars, no transport in the middle of the jungles, away from everywhere. And it was such a poor monastery there wasn't even any Aspirin or Paracetamol in the medicine cabinet, there was nothing to take at all. I don't know why it is when you get these pains, I know actually why it is now, When you get these pains they always get worse at night time. Why is that? I think it's because the fear grows at night time. And the fear makes that pain even more intense. But anyway as it got very very late the pain in my jaw was so intense.. I have read afterward, and the dentist will say, this is true, some of those pains, infections, in your teeth can get so incredibly strong, they can affect the brain, they can drive you crazy. And I thought it was really going to drive me crazy that was the worst toothache I have ever had in my life. Nothing else has matched that anywhere close. Intense pain. And I was trying everything I could to try and overcome that pain. First of all my meditation. But my meditation at the time I tried to suppress the pain. Tried to get rid of it with the force of the will Trying to move my mind somewhere else so I couldn't experience that pain. Never try that! Never try focusing somewhere else when there is a pain in one part of the body, trying to focus on other part. You won't be able to succeed If it really is an intense pain. The pain will keep compelling you to watch it. So I couldn't even meditate, the pain was just too strong. We have another type of meditation which we do called walking meditation. We very slowly mindfully walk backwards and forward on a path. Eventually I tried that but I had to give up that because I was not doing walking meditation I noticed I was doing running meditation (laughter) Because whenever you are in great pain you are so desperate you can't do anything slowly; everything is jerky and fast. I was running backwards and forwards. The last thing I tried was doing some chanting. Sometimes we have all these superstitions, if you do some special chanting miracles can happen. I never believed that at first because remember I was a scientist before theoretical physics at Cambridge University we don't believe things that easy. All this rigmarole of superstitious chanting I never really believed that at all. By I tried it anyway. Which is what you do when you are desperate anything you will try. I tried the chanting and I had to stop that after a few minutes because I realized I was shouting at the top of my voice and I was afraid I'd wake up all the other monks in this monastery because again when you are desperate you can't do anything softly even when you speak, you're shouting. And I had one of those wonderful experiences when your back was against the wall as Ajahn Chah used to say "you can't go forward, you can't go back you can't stay still. You're really.... everything is just hopeless. And those experiences, if you ever have those experiences you can't go forward, you can't go back and you can't stay still. Those are brilliant moments in your life. The opportunities to see things in a different way And the only thing I could think of was those words "just let go" And I did it. I let go! Because I had to; there was no choice. And as soon as I let go his is one of the great experiences of my life immediately, not just after second or two immediately the pain vanished. It just wasn't there anymore. And in its place was this incredible delightful bliss I was actually happy. It was such a weird experience that that could actually happen You could have intense pain and then let go, really let go. And it was just beautiful peace. Even though it was in the middle of the night Couldn't do anything else, except just meditate for a little while and then just lay down not really go to sleep but have a very light sleep because you are just too happy. Woke up in the morning and then I had a toothache not that bad Went to see the dentist afterwards The amazing thing was you can take an intense pain and just by letting it be, it vanished. What had happened was I had taken away the emotional, mental part of that pain. the physical part was there but it was tiny compared to the emotional. "I don't want, I can't stand this" It taught me that what you add what human beings add onto the physical feelings of pain is more than 90 percent

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 22:14 (to 27:33)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

With a raging toothache and no medicine in a remote monastery, young Ajahn Brahm tried everything, until midnight, when he finally tried Ajahn Chah's advice: let go. In half a second the agony became peace. Most of pain, he learnt, is what we add. Take sensible relief when you can. Then open your heart to what remains.

In brief (our summary)

In his first year at a Thai monastery, with an empty medicine cabinet and no telephone, Ajahn Brahm has a terrible toothache. He can't watch his breath; walking meditation turns into running back and forth; as an ex-scientist he even tries chanting, which doesn't work. At around midnight, out of desperation, he asks what Ajahn Chah would do — 'let go'. He hasn't tried that. Within half a second the agony becomes peace and bliss, with tears of joy. He meditates on, sleeps deeply, and wakes with only a small ache.

Teaching point

So much pain is our reaction to it; letting go, not fighting, transforms it.

When this story may help

  • acute pain
  • no access to help
  • sleepless night

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in How to deal with chronic pain | Ajahn Brahm | 04-07-2014 · 2014-07-06 · ▶ watch from 22:14 to 27:33 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

4 other tellings of this story

Caption notes: Manual (volunteer) captions; occasional misspellings kept as is.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

  • Sit still under the mango tree

    In brief: Ajahn Chah's simile, taught in a monastery that was a mango orchard: the only way to get the mangoes is to sit perfectly still under the…

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    I'm going to finish off with one of Ajahn Chah's profound stories which I usually only give at retreats but now I think it's good time to share it here I was telling this in Thailand many people, they have read books by Ajah Chah but this is not in any of those books. The great teacher was telling me how to meditate and get enlightened. How to be at peace with myself, how to be free And this is the essence of the talk which I have just being giving about no authority. One of the reasons why Buddhism is growing in our modern world. He said when I first went to his monastery about 38 years ago now. He said his monastery in this forest in the middle of the Northeast of Thailand; he said his forest was a mango orchard. He said those mango trees were planted by the Buddha himself. He said those mango trees are now mature; and there’re thousands of ripe juicy sweet mangoes hanging off the branches and twigs of all those trees. He said, "you monks, nuns, men and women in these days; you don't need to climb the tree to get a mango you don't need to shake the tree, you don't even need to throw a stick up at the tree to get a mango All you need to do to get a mango is just to hold out your hand, open our palm and a mango will fall into it". When I heard that I thought that's absolutely stupid and crazy. I have known mango trees; if I sat under a mango tree with my hand open way before, it would probably be hours before a mango fell anyway, if it did fell; knowing my luck it would fall on my head. (laughter) Never in my hand. But that was Ajahn Chah's simile. You know what he meant now.. Stop shaking the Mango Tree. Stop trying to control your partner. Stop trying to climb the tree of life. Sit underneath it, Open the door of your heart to the beautiful peace and happiness freedom whatever you want in life will just fall into it

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  • The novice who stopped

    In brief: A novice of 12 or 13 at Ajahn Chah's monastery, tired during a very long sermon, kept thinking: 'When is Ajahn Chah going to stop?' Then…

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    It reminds me of that novice in Ajahn Chah's monastery, just a novice, who was listening to one of Ajahn Chah's sermons, which was going on and on and on and on. And he said, "I'm just a little novice. You know, I didn't sort of elect to come and stay here. Just I had no place else to go, so this is what But this senior monks, they could listen, but I need to go to bed. I'm tired." He's only like 12 or 13 or something. And so this little novice started thinking, "When is Ajahn Chah going to stop? When is he going to stop? When is he going to stop?" And that became repeated in his brain again and again and again until then the novice thought had an insight, changed things around. Instead of when is Ajahn Chah going to stop, he thought, "When am I going to stop?" That's when this little novice stopped. He got into one of the really deep meditations, one of the jhanas. Just that simply, but just saying, "I will stop." Not doing anything. And went so deep that when he came out of meditation, Ajahn Chah had finished the the talk a long time earlier. All the monks had done the chanting to end the meditate to end the talk. And they all packed up their things and went back to their cottages or their huts to rest. He'd been sitting really still all that time. Couldn't hear a thing. It was the morning time. He'd missed the morning arms route. He didn't mind. He wasn't hungry. He just got into the most beautiful meditation for the first time in his life by stopping.

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  • Ajahn Chah sits in the centre of the fever

    In brief: Malaria was an occupational hazard for jungle monks, and Ajahn Chah suffered it for years. During one intense attack, instead of lying in…

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    And I know Ajahn Chah's story, my teacher, being a forest monk living in the jungles he had malaria for many years it was for those monks an occupational hazard just like these days, for current monks having tummy aches is an occupational hazard simply because as I told you I don't own my stomach you put whatever you want into it, and sometimes my stomach says 'no' (Ajahn laughs) But nevertheless you get to peace with that. His occupational hazard was malaria for many years I remember him telling me how he overcame his malaria once and for all having a very intense attack of the fever and instead of just laying in bed, sitting up meditating with it instead of running away from the thing or complaining about it, worrying about it what most people do when you got a problem, a disease or a tumor or whatever you think about it too much it creates more problems by the way react to them Instead he sat with it, he said he sat right in the centre of his fever quietly silently had peace with it. And it's a very hard thing to do but it's a wonderful thing to train yourself to be able to do. To be able to make peace with pain or with the fever, or with difficulty to make absolute peace with it so you don't even think you are just there at one with what you are experiencing not making any inner speech with it. he said as he was just with that he sort of felt like he was in the centre of a raging forest fire. but in the centre it was cool. but he could perceive all around him was a fire getting hotter and hotter and hotter which was his fever increasing in intensity and he said at one point the fever got so hot it burst and everything was cool. He never got malaria ever again.

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  • An hour to kill

    In brief: On a retreat in Thailand, a Kuala Lumpur woman — later a star meditator — gets nowhere for eight or nine days and is frustrated. After the…

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    one of these star meditators who lives in Koala Lumpur. She was on one of the meditation retreats which I was given over in Thailand and she was just like everybody else was getting nowhere trying to meditate maybe getting into the breath maybe getting quiet and then sort of nothing happening and just after eight or nine days just really so frustrated as some people are and then we had the end of the retreat. We finished gave all the blessings the meta meditation finished off and lunch was in about 45 minutes or an hour and after the lunch now the buses were to take you back to the airport. Now people were supposed to go and use that time to clean up their rooms but she had another bus or another flight so you wasn't leaving to leave late afternoon. So she told me she had an hour to kill nothing to do. So she thought I might as well meditate to kill time. And that's when she wasn't expecting anything. She didn't try and control her mind. She didn't do anything. Just them doing nothing. Brilliant. That's when she got a beautiful meditation. And I love it when people have their first really deep meditation because they come up to me and and the nearest thing I can describe it is when like a young girl or young boy falls in love, you know, and they just all got sort of sparkles in their eyes and the whole world is beautiful. Oh, it's so nice. It's so wonderful. Oh, life is so good and so happy. Cuz that's what happens when you get deep meditation. You get enormous happiness. And she did that cuz you never expected it.

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