Raged at in the Sydney airport lounge

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• Ajahn Jagaro keeps eating

  In brief: A distraught Thai woman bursts into the monks' meal crying that her friend has shot herself; Ajahn Jagaro calmly keeps eating for a minute…

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  One of the first times I saw this and it was very impressive was the former abbot and Spiritual Director of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia Ajahn Jagaro. I was with him when he was a monk just learning his trade in Thailand. Because we do learn a trade - this is a training which we go through. And we were having our morning meal when a Thai lady ran into our dining hall. She ran in, and she's obviously very upset, because they don't usually do this - interfering in a monk's meal. And she was saying something in Thai, and I actually caught it after a while, she said "Suchin is dead! Suchin is dead! She shot herself! She's committed suicide!". And I got really quite excited too because I knew that lady, she had cancer, we've been going to see her, talking to her, counselling her. She was a close disciple of the monastery. And that morning she had shot herself, and this was her best friend who found her body. She came in to the monastery just straight away, completely distraught having found her best friend committed suicide. You can understand what she felt like. And I understood that, and I looked to Ajahn Jagaro who was the head monk at that time to see what he would do. He understood what she'd said and he put his head down and carried on eating. And this lady - "She shot herself! She killed herself!" - and the monk just carried on eating as if nothing had happened. And after about one or two minutes she stopped moving her arms up and down, she stopped shouting, and at that point Ajahn Jagaro put down his spoon, put aside his bowl, and said "what happened?" I thought it was a beautiful piece of psychological calming a person's emotions down. Because he was not responding with anxiety to her great distress, he was just calming her down just by his actions and by his softness, she too calmed down in the space of one or two minutes. It was the most brilliant counselling I'd seen for years.

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• The trail of blood into Mum's council flat

  In brief: Staying at his mother's London council tower block (a supposed 'hotbed of crime'), Ajahn Brahm is about to walk to a talk when the lift…

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  I remember when I went to visit her and stayed in that tower block for a short while I was going to give a talk in the Sri Lankan Vihara is Chiswick one day and it was not that far from where my mother lived so I wanted to walk. I enjoyed those walks in the streets of London especially in my robes. Because I was always a radical I wanted to surprise and stagger and confront people with my sartorial elegance of brown robes. But I also enjoyed having fun because people would look at me and sometimes not knowing exactly what you were dressed in these robes, these are like what people used to called bed blankets sometimes they are cross the other side of the road but I'll always take pleasure in wishing them Good Morning with a smile to an Englishman when someone actually wishes you 'Good Morning' you have to say Good Morning back. It is psychological torture for them. Being a sadist I enjoyed that. But anyhow on this particular occasion when I in the elevator when I got to the bottom as the door was open I was the only one in the elevator and as the door was opened I was confronted by an old lady who was covered with blood. It was like scene out of a movie I didn't know what had happened to her whether she has been attacked, mugged or whatever but she actually told me that she had fallen down by the flight of steps. She must have been about sixty five or seventy because she could still stand so immediately I forgot about giving a talk at any sort of Vihara it's more important I am kind and compassion; I like to practice Buddhism rather than teach it. So I forgot about the talk and I took this old lady upstairs to my mother's apartment where we bathed her wounds called the ambulance, she did have a broken leg but because of the shock she couldn't feel the pain at the time, so we bathed her, comforted her, called the ambulance but the wonderful thing which happened was that because it was an accident and because I took her into my mother's apartment very quickly, my mother left the door opened and there was a trail of blood which was leading into my mother's apartment and I was so pleased in a matter of five minutes I don't know how many people had come into my mother's apartment to find out what was going on and whether she was alright. And when they found out the reason why one of the tenants in these apartment blocks had an accident, fallen over and was wounded, it was wonderful to see the community coming together and helping one and another I was bathing the wounds because my mother doesn't like blood someone else was going to her house to actually to turn her oven off because she had something in the oven cooking and somebody was going to ring her daughter somewhere else and everybody was working together so well I thought, this is not a hot bed of crime this is a community where people cared about each other.

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• “You're so lucky” — counselling a rape survivor

  In brief: In Malaysia, as a last resort after counsellors, doctors and psychiatrists had failed, Ajahn Brahm is asked to see a woman, and…

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  one of the most moving stories was when I was in Malaysia they asked me can I please counsel somebody because she was in a big mess and no one had ever managed to do anything for her counselors doctors psychologist and psychiatrist so I was one of the the last throws of the dice for this woman and I never asked what she'd been through and why she wanted to see me I didn't want any preparation because I knew if you're going to help anybody the less plans you have the less knowledge the better so you can actually just be with a person and get right into them and find out who they are and what to do cuz the more plans and expectations you have the more knowledge that actually stops you seeing the truth that's one of my sayings never allow your knowledge to stand in the way of Truth so we know if you hear what's happened to her then you think about it and you you're not really seeing the problem anymore keep your mind perfectly still and open and peaceful so that's what I did with this woman I just didn't know who she was and asked her know what happened and then again one of those skin creeping moments when she told me how she was violently raped brutal raped don't know how people can do that to another human being but it happens and when she finished her story you know my mind was so still horrified but still The Words which came out of my mouth to this day shock me it was automatic not be meditated the words came out you're so lucky to have been raped what did I just said and then I looked at it and understand why I said that I said I just I look deep inside of you you know you have Incredible strength resources you haven't tapped you know you are going to find a way through this and when you do you are going to say something be able to say something which I can never say you'll be able to be with someone who's had that experience and tell them that I know how you feel that's such a wonderful thing to say to someone else to empathize with them to say look you're not alone I've been there too I can't say that you will be able to say that you will be able to put your arm around not just your real arm your spiritual arm and say I know what you're going through but you you will be able to say something even more you'll be able to say I know the way out of this I know the way out of this incredibly black dark painful hole take my hand come so that's why you're so lucky you'll be able to give heal care and relieve the pain there so many other women well I will not be able to touch them I can't get there you will be able to do that that's your meaning Embrace turn that experience into your garden which I hope she's done

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• The senior monk who pretended to be angry

  In brief: A nun in the Thai monastery grows skin-and-bones thin, insisting fasting helps her meditation; the monks can't get through. A very kind…

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  I remember once there was a nun in our monastery in Thailand. Years and years ago. She had looked like a psychological problem. She was getting anorexic. Thinner and thinner and thinner, we were just really concerned about her. And whatever we said, she said no, she was fasting because it was good for her meditation. Or she felt healthy. But to look at her, she was skin and bones. Of course we were responsible if, you know I don't have that problem obviously, but if any monk had a problem like that I'd be responsible for them, I'd have to do something to make sure they're okay. But whatever we did as monks, she just would not listen. A senior monk come over from England and we said to him, 'Look, we haven't been able to do anything. [coughs] Can you help?' So he brought the nun to her and this was a very great monk, and he was such a kind monk and he looked at her and he started shouting at her and scolding her and I thought, 'My goodness, this monk, who I really respected, is getting angry.' And I'd never seen him angry like that, ever. I thought, 'what's going on?' He was shouting and scolding her and all sorts of stuff. And then afterwards she went away. And just as soon as she went away that's when he changed his demeanour and he smiled and said, 'That told her, didn't it?' [laughter] He was acting it out. And so I was actually quite relieved. The monk hadn't gotten angry. He was actually a good actor. He actually tried to use that as a skillful means. It really was out of compassion. But it didn't work. Even if you try, you just, and this was a very good monk. He had enough mindfulness and control when he played at being angry he didn't become angry. He could do it. But still it never worked.

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