Ajahn Jagaro keeps eating

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• Suicide is stuffing up one exam question

  In brief: Parents who used to come to Friday talks lost a child to suicide just before the TEE exams. Ajahn Brahm frames a life like an exam of many…

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  there was one I don't know if the parents are here this evening. They used to come most evenings. Uh they uh their kid uh committed suicide just before the TEE exams. Uh he's doing very well. There was no reason why he We don't still don't know why people commit suicide, but there it was. Committed suicide. And of course, they were very distraught. And I said, "Look, in the "How many papers in each subject? Two." I didn't really know where I was going with this. But so, that's 10 papers. Maybe say five questions in each paper. So, that's 50 questions decide whether you're going to get to university or not. So, you've got 50 questions. If you stuff up one question, does that mean you're not going to go to university? Of course not. So, committing suicide is stuffing up one question. But keep that in perspective of everything else you've done in your life. So, you can't measure a person's life just by the ending. Yeah, they committed suicide. It's a stupid thing to do. But what about all the other things they did in their life? Does that count for nothing? Of course it doesn't. So, when you look at their whole life, not just the ending, their whole life, they're probably really good person. They did a lot of kindness, a lot of love, a lot of a nice person to be around. But you know, they the last question in the exam, they they messed up that answer. But the rest of the questions were perfect. So, such a person would get a good rebirth. But if they've lived a terrible life and been selfish and hurtful and cheated on everybody and everything else, then it doesn't matter how they end their life, they're still going to have a bad rebirth. So, don't just judge a life by the way it ended. The life is bigger than the end. Much bigger. And anyway, sometimes you don't know why a person did these things. So, I It's very hard to judge. What I really don't like is people who say, "Suicide, therefore you're going to go to hell. It's the worst thing to do. It's a bad thing. I don't know where people get those ideas from. It's already bad enough if a loved one has committed suicide and you hear those other stupid people go along and say, "Oh, they're going to go to hell, it's a bad thing to do." That makes it so much worse and it's untrue. So, look at the whole life, not just the ending. And trust a good person will get a good rebirth.

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• The leper's smile was bigger than anyone's in Perth

  In brief: On a Ganges tour, walking back to the tourist bus through a leper colony, Ajahn Brahm is approached for money. Explaining he is a monk who…

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  One thing which changed me was when I went over to India. When I went over to India, I remember seeing this Actually, we you know, we went on this little tour down the Ganges River and on the way back to the bus to take us to our nice hotel, as people do when you visit India. On the way back, we passed through this leper colony. First time I seen real lepers. This is quite a few years ago. And of course, you know, they weren't all that hygienic. They had bandages on, but you know, dirty bandages. You can see the blood and pus coming out through the the bandages. And of course, they were coming to me, not because I had a brown robe, because I had a white face. And a white face meant money. So, they came and asked me for money. And I tried and I was stupid monk sometimes. I tried to say to them, said, "I'm a Buddhist monk. I don't have any money. That's one of my rules." And how would a leper understand English for a start? In India. And I realized I was getting nowhere. So, the only thing which I could do, which I thought I could give him, I could just give him some compassion, kindness. I just put my arms around him, gave him a hug and a big smile. Now, I gave him what I thought was a big smile. But what that leper gave me back was a much bigger smile than I've ever seen for years. I can't see any of you smiling like that leper. Even now. That was a big smile. And that blew me away. And I always remember that to this day. Actually, I could I can visualize it now. How on earth, I thought, you know, on the bus and many other days on that trip, how on earth can a leper be so happy? And he was showing incredible happiness. And when I came back to Perth, where are those smiles? And you haven't got leprosy. You've got nice houses, good health, health card. You can go to any hospital under Medicare. You can get bulk billed if you're poor. You eat very well. You sleep very well. You can go on holidays overseas and live in air-conditioned houses or heaters this time of the year. What are you worried about? And you started to see from that that suffering is not just having no food in your belly. Suffering is not sleeping out in the cold. In Australia, the suicide rate is much, much higher than in Benares, India, with all the poverty there. Why is it that those lepers would never contemplate killing themselves? But rich, beautiful, wealthy, young people in Perth do. Why?

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• The trail of blood into Mum's council flat

  In brief: Staying at his mother's London council tower block (a supposed 'hotbed of crime'), Ajahn Brahm is about to walk to a talk when the lift…

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  I remember when I went to visit her and stayed in that tower block for a short while I was going to give a talk in the Sri Lankan Vihara is Chiswick one day and it was not that far from where my mother lived so I wanted to walk. I enjoyed those walks in the streets of London especially in my robes. Because I was always a radical I wanted to surprise and stagger and confront people with my sartorial elegance of brown robes. But I also enjoyed having fun because people would look at me and sometimes not knowing exactly what you were dressed in these robes, these are like what people used to called bed blankets sometimes they are cross the other side of the road but I'll always take pleasure in wishing them Good Morning with a smile to an Englishman when someone actually wishes you 'Good Morning' you have to say Good Morning back. It is psychological torture for them. Being a sadist I enjoyed that. But anyhow on this particular occasion when I in the elevator when I got to the bottom as the door was open I was the only one in the elevator and as the door was opened I was confronted by an old lady who was covered with blood. It was like scene out of a movie I didn't know what had happened to her whether she has been attacked, mugged or whatever but she actually told me that she had fallen down by the flight of steps. She must have been about sixty five or seventy because she could still stand so immediately I forgot about giving a talk at any sort of Vihara it's more important I am kind and compassion; I like to practice Buddhism rather than teach it. So I forgot about the talk and I took this old lady upstairs to my mother's apartment where we bathed her wounds called the ambulance, she did have a broken leg but because of the shock she couldn't feel the pain at the time, so we bathed her, comforted her, called the ambulance but the wonderful thing which happened was that because it was an accident and because I took her into my mother's apartment very quickly, my mother left the door opened and there was a trail of blood which was leading into my mother's apartment and I was so pleased in a matter of five minutes I don't know how many people had come into my mother's apartment to find out what was going on and whether she was alright. And when they found out the reason why one of the tenants in these apartment blocks had an accident, fallen over and was wounded, it was wonderful to see the community coming together and helping one and another I was bathing the wounds because my mother doesn't like blood someone else was going to her house to actually to turn her oven off because she had something in the oven cooking and somebody was going to ring her daughter somewhere else and everybody was working together so well I thought, this is not a hot bed of crime this is a community where people cared about each other.

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• “You're so lucky” — counselling a rape survivor

  In brief: In Malaysia, as a last resort after counsellors, doctors and psychiatrists had failed, Ajahn Brahm is asked to see a woman, and…

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  one of the most moving stories was when I was in Malaysia they asked me can I please counsel somebody because she was in a big mess and no one had ever managed to do anything for her counselors doctors psychologist and psychiatrist so I was one of the the last throws of the dice for this woman and I never asked what she'd been through and why she wanted to see me I didn't want any preparation because I knew if you're going to help anybody the less plans you have the less knowledge the better so you can actually just be with a person and get right into them and find out who they are and what to do cuz the more plans and expectations you have the more knowledge that actually stops you seeing the truth that's one of my sayings never allow your knowledge to stand in the way of Truth so we know if you hear what's happened to her then you think about it and you you're not really seeing the problem anymore keep your mind perfectly still and open and peaceful so that's what I did with this woman I just didn't know who she was and asked her know what happened and then again one of those skin creeping moments when she told me how she was violently raped brutal raped don't know how people can do that to another human being but it happens and when she finished her story you know my mind was so still horrified but still The Words which came out of my mouth to this day shock me it was automatic not be meditated the words came out you're so lucky to have been raped what did I just said and then I looked at it and understand why I said that I said I just I look deep inside of you you know you have Incredible strength resources you haven't tapped you know you are going to find a way through this and when you do you are going to say something be able to say something which I can never say you'll be able to be with someone who's had that experience and tell them that I know how you feel that's such a wonderful thing to say to someone else to empathize with them to say look you're not alone I've been there too I can't say that you will be able to say that you will be able to put your arm around not just your real arm your spiritual arm and say I know what you're going through but you you will be able to say something even more you'll be able to say I know the way out of this I know the way out of this incredibly black dark painful hole take my hand come so that's why you're so lucky you'll be able to give heal care and relieve the pain there so many other women well I will not be able to touch them I can't get there you will be able to do that that's your meaning Embrace turn that experience into your garden which I hope she's done

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