Angulimala: 'I have stopped. You stop.'

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• The cow that cried

  In brief: After a meditation talk at Karnet Prison Farm, a prisoner — a murderer, born in Northern Ireland — asks to see Ajahn Brahm. His prison job…

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  there was a prisoner over there who came to see me after I gave a a a talk on meditation. He wanted a private interview because he was very upset that he was a slaughterer in that prison, and he was about to slaughter a cow. All the cows would be screaming and hollering and trying to escape, but one cow came in which didn't quiet which didn't quiet at all, which came in I I'm going to tell the story now. I've already started. Of all the cows and the sheep and other animals which this guy had to slaughter, that was his job in Carnat Prison Farm. He was a prisoner. He was a murderer, actually, he told me. And now he got this job of killing cows and sheep, the slaughterer. He said, "All the animals who came in would always cry and struggle to escape. They needed dogs and these electric shock cattle prods to force them into the enclosure into the place where the executioner stood with his electric bolt gun. And he said that every animal would always scream and try and escape. He said on this one day this cow came in without making any noise, head down, and just walked one foot after another slowly and positioned itself voluntarily to stand underneath the platform where its executioner stood. And this cow this cow then lifted its head and looked this prisoner in the eye. Straight eye contact. This was so weird, so unusual, that this man, who was born in Northern Ireland, he told me that he was stabbed when he was 7 years of age. That was his first stabbing. When the school bully came up to him and asked for the money he had for his lunch. He said, "No." And the school bully took out a knife. "Give me your lunch money." He said no a second time. The bully never asked a third time, but plunged the knife into this boy's arm. He was badly wounded with blood streaming down his arm. His first thought was to run to his home, which was just around the corner, where his father was unemployed. He ran into his house, screamed to his father, "I've been stabbed! I've been stabbed!" His father looked at the wound and took him into the kitchen, but not to dress his wound, but to take out another knife from the kitchen drawer, give it to his 7-year-old son, and ordered the son, "Go back into the school and stab the boy back." And he said that was how he was brought up. And that's why he'd been in prison many times. And he confessed to me that he'd killed people. He was a murderer. And now he was killing cows. When you find out where these people come from, their upbringing, sometimes your view of these people as bad people just disappears. Your whole perception of them changes. You think about them in a different way. But anyway, with the cow, as this cow got eye contact with this prisoner, the prisoner couldn't move. He was frozen. He'd never seen such a thing before. He couldn't pull the gun to execute the cow. He didn't know how many minutes passed by, but then something very strange happened. He noticed in the left eye of the cow, just above the lower eyelid, there was liquid welling up, getting more and more and more. And you all know how big cows' eyes are. The water got so much above the left eyelid, bottom eyelid of the cow, that it started to drip over the edge and down the cow's cheek. The cow was crying. He got so confused. Soon he noticed the same was happening in the other eye. On the lower eyelid of the right eye, there was more water coming until that too was far too much for the eyelid to hold. And that too started to stream over the right eyelid and down the cow's cheek. The cow was crying. He swore, threw down the gun, and told and said, "That cow ain't dying." When he came to see me, he said he was now a vegetarian. Here's a murderer who is now a vegetarian cuz he saw a cow cry.

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• The retreat cook on work release

  In brief: Without a cook for a nine-day retreat at Jhana Grove, Ajahn Brahm finds Carl, a brilliant cook who does everything alone. At the closing…

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  We were teaching a retreat many years ago and we couldn't find a we couldn't find a uh a cook for the retreat. So I managed to to grab this guy to do the the cooking for us. And he was brilliant cook. He did it all by himself and he did a wonderful job. And at the end of the retreat when we start to thank people, he disappeared. He'd gone. They said, "Where's Carl? We want to say say thank you to him." And so he's back in kind of prison farm now. He was on work release. And I told people then that Carl was in prison for multiple rape. And straight away people said, "I jump on. You mean you let a multiple rapist come and cook for us for 9 days? Isn't that dangerous? I said, "No, look, I know him. He wouldn't hurt the fly. He never did. He did those crimes when he was uh young and involved in drugs. He wouldn't do anything now. He never did. But the main purpose of not telling them first of all and telling at the very end was to say just how How unfairly do we judge people? He's changed. He's uh paid for his crimes. Maybe not paid. I'm not sure. But he's certainly just leaving him in jail to rot is not going to help anybody. But let him come out. He's I think he's Where is he working now? He's got married to a nice uh girl now. And I think he's working. He's in the northern suburbs somewhere. Osman Park. No, not Osman Park, but somewhere around that area. Really nice guy.

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• How the donkey caught the carrot

  In brief: A stubborn donkey is driven by a carrot dangling on a string from a stick tied to its own back — always two feet ahead however fast it…

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  It's a story, one of my favourite stories of the donkey and the carrot. Those of you who know the story because you've been on the retreats, it's also in the book of "Mindfulness, Bliss and Beyond." You know that donkeys are very stubborn animals, that's why they say in English - as stubborn as a donkey. You hit them with a stick, they won't move. So the only way you get donkeys to move, is you tie the stick to their back, so the front of the stick is about 2 feet, in front of the donkey's head, at the end of the stick you put a string, on the end of the string, a carrot. So there's this donkey, seeing this carrot 2 foot in front of it , craving is what drives the donkey, not fear of punishment. So there the donkey moves forward to try and get the carrot but because this carrot is on the end of the stick, and the stick is tied to the donkey, it doesn't matter how fast the donkey moves forward, the carrot goes at the same speed so it's always 2 foot in front of the donkey's head. But it's stupid enough to think, well, if I run a bit faster I might catch that carrot. You understand the simile - that's called your life [laughter] chasing a carrot. Do you ever get it? Now it's always 2 foot in front, you almost get it, sometimes, just perfection you know, happiness, even deep meditation, it's almost there, and you just go a bit further, and it goes further away from you. But many donkeys have actually heard my talks on YouTube. [laughter] And they now know how to catch the carrot! How to find meaning in life. You know how you do that? The donkey's already been running really fast, and the donkey hears the word, "stop", stop chasing that carrot, "stop" so the donkey stops. You know what happens when you stop? The carrot moves further away than its ever been before. If you've got patience and trust and faith, you've heard Ajahn Brahm, you actually believe he may be on to something, so you stop. And as soon as it's 4 foot away from you, twice as far as it's ever been you get a little bit of doubt, is this going to happen, is it true? But then something amazing happens, the carrot starts coming towards you. And soon it's in its normal position, 2 foot in front of your mouth, but now it's coming at great speed [laughter] towards you, you don't have to do anything, you just sit there, And just at the right moment, you remember the most important phrase, "The door of my mouth is now open to you, carrot" [laughter] And the carrot gets into your own mouth!

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• The moon in a still lake

  In brief: Simile (on a full-moon retreat night): if there are waves or ripples on a lake you can't see a perfect image of the moon and stars; when…

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  the simile I usually give is a simile of a lake if there's waves on the surface of the lake you can never get a a clear reflection of the stars and the full moon and if you look up the sky this evening and tomorrow the the moon is full it's a very beautiful time to start meditating and if you go to one of the the Lakes the lake down the bottom and you look at the image of that Moon if there are waves or ripples in that Lake you can't see a perfect image but you can imagine when that lake is perfectly still when there's not even one Ripple moving across the surface of the lake you get a perfect reflection of the moon and the stars and that's just like the mind to be able to reflect reality to see things as they truly are without Distortion we got to use a mind which is perfectly still so there's not even a ripple on the surface of that mind

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