Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

The Rhodes scholar given permission to die

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Confidence, Fear and Anxiety | Ajahn Brahm | 28 January 2022

1 min read

Content note: health claim; serious illness

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

like this young roads scholar who I grew up with in Thailand. He was so fit and so smart and he was like a wrestler but also uh road scholar means you go to Oxford University. Really smart fellow but when he was in Thailand he got really really sick very close to death. We sent him over to a monastery in England thinking that might be of service to him help him but he just was in his room for about two or three years without being able to get out of his room. And one day one of the monks went up there and said to him, "On behalf of all the people who've been looking after you all these years, all the people who care about you and love for you, I've come up here on the behalf of everybody to give you permission to die. Stop trying to get healthy. Stop trying to please others by trying this and trying that to get rid of the sickness." Not that this roads scholar, he's a champion wrestler over in he was he was from the I think from Tennessee. He used to speak this wonderful South American draw as a monk. South uh yeah southern states of America draw and a very nice fellow and he just wept. He'd been trying so hard to get better that literally was causing him to be sick. From that day on, he started to improve in his health. That was so many years ago, maybe 35 years ago, he's still alive. Once he got permission to die, he kept on living.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 1:23:08 (to 1:24:57)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A brilliant young monk lay ill for years in England, straining to recover for everyone's sake, until a fellow monk gave him permission to die. He wept, stopped forcing it, and began to heal; decades later he's still alive. One story, not a medical rule. But fear of letting people down can trap us. Permission to let go can free us.

In brief (our summary)

A fit Tennessee wrestler and Rhodes scholar, a fellow monk in Thailand, fell desperately ill and was sent to a monastery in England, where he stayed in his room for two or three years. A monk finally gave him permission to die on behalf of everyone who loved him. He wept, stopped forcing recovery — and from that day improved; some 35 years later he is still alive.

Teaching point

Fear of upsetting others can trap you in sickness; permission to let go can free life as well as death.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Confidence, Fear and Anxiety | Ajahn Brahm | 28 January 2022 · 2022-01-28 · ▶ watch from 1:23:08 to 1:24:57 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

2 other tellings of this story

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions with machine-added punctuation; words left exactly as captioned. 'South American draw' self-corrected to southern US.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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