The ex-Marine monk who caught his fits early

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• “Fear killed twenty thousand”

  In brief: Plague demons meet in a forest clearing to compare tolls: one killed 1,000 in Paris, another 2,000 in London; the third says he killed…

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  I remember reading that in a great story by Edgar Allan Poe, "The Mask of the Red Death," only a short story. I remember it was a story about the plagues which hit Europe during the Middle Ages, which devastated 20%, 30%, 40% of the population of cities. And then this little scene from the play... there were the demons, the devils who were supposed to be spreading this plague, and they met together in a clearing in the forest, and one asked the other, "You've been to Paris, how many people did you kill there?" "1,000." "You've been to London, how many you kill there?" "2,000." "You've been to some other city, Frankfurt, how many killed there?" "I only killed about 50, but fear killed 20,000.

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• Ajahn Chah sits in the centre of the fever

  In brief: Malaria was an occupational hazard for jungle monks, and Ajahn Chah suffered it for years. During one intense attack, instead of lying in…

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  And I know Ajahn Chah's story, my teacher, being a forest monk living in the jungles he had malaria for many years it was for those monks an occupational hazard just like these days, for current monks having tummy aches is an occupational hazard simply because as I told you I don't own my stomach you put whatever you want into it, and sometimes my stomach says 'no' (Ajahn laughs) But nevertheless you get to peace with that. His occupational hazard was malaria for many years I remember him telling me how he overcame his malaria once and for all having a very intense attack of the fever and instead of just laying in bed, sitting up meditating with it instead of running away from the thing or complaining about it, worrying about it what most people do when you got a problem, a disease or a tumor or whatever you think about it too much it creates more problems by the way react to them Instead he sat with it, he said he sat right in the centre of his fever quietly silently had peace with it. And it's a very hard thing to do but it's a wonderful thing to train yourself to be able to do. To be able to make peace with pain or with the fever, or with difficulty to make absolute peace with it so you don't even think you are just there at one with what you are experiencing not making any inner speech with it. he said as he was just with that he sort of felt like he was in the centre of a raging forest fire. but in the centre it was cool. but he could perceive all around him was a fire getting hotter and hotter and hotter which was his fever increasing in intensity and he said at one point the fever got so hot it burst and everything was cool. He never got malaria ever again.

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• The ghost at the toilet door

  In brief: After a funeral, a terrified 11-year-old novice stays in the hall all night; at 2 a.m. he dashes to the outdoor toilet, hears scratching…

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  I remember this story - this poor little novice staying in our monastery in Thailand. Because it was a cremation monastery that day was the moon day when we would meditate all night...that poor little novice, we did a funeral that day, and were supposed to meditate all night... in the hall. Now usually, little novices, they are only about 11-12 years of age, there is no way they would stay up all night, they would sneak off in the middle of their night back to their house. We knew they did this, it was breaking the rules, but they were only small little monks, so we didn't mind. And we've go to be kind.. Not this day. This night, that little novice, he would not leave the hall. [Laughter]. Because he was just so afraid of the ghost. See even the [Laughter]. Those dogs must have been reborn in Thailand. Last night. [Laughter]. Great special effects. Now these, here they go again. [Laughter]. Shut up, dogs! [Laughter]. There, they're going now. Now these ghosts, or rather this little novice, the poor little novice, stuck in that hall, you know 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock, too scared to go out. When it got to about 2 o'clock in the morning he just couldn't hold his urine any longer. He had to go to the toilet. And the trouble is the toilet was about 20 meters outside the hall. [Some laughter]. In the darkness. So this poor little, you can imagine what he felt like, he had the pain in his bladder against the fear of that ghost getting him. So he made a run for it - desperation. He ran and he got to the toilet, locked the door. He'd only been in that toilet for about a few minutes when he heard the steps. [Laughter]. And it came right to the toilet cubicle he was in and started scratching. Can you get a scratch..? [Scratches tissue box]. I tried to get some special effects.. for the tape [Laughter]. A scratch at the door..and this poor little novice didn't come out of that toilet cubicle for about 3 hours. [Laughter]. And when he came out he was telling us - the ghost came to get him! The ghost! And he heard it, he heard it scratching. Another monk saw that ghost.. You know what it was? It was a civet cat. Like a possum. Those of you who've been to Asia know they've got squat toilets. The toilets are actually on the floor, and that little possum, civet cat, every evening he would go into that toilet cubicle to get some water to drink from the toilet bowl. That was his drinking place. And so that evening all that happened was this little possum walked to that toilet and was scratching the door - "please let me in, I'm thirsty". [Laughter]. But that little novice [laughs], he was a ghost coming to get me! And you can actually see how because of wrong thinking, and because there was a funeral that day, thinking all day, thinking all evening, and what was just a little jungle cat, just coming for a drink, he thought it was a ghost and he was in that toilet for about 3 or 4 hours - poor little novice.

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• 'Better to die than disrobe'

  In brief: Ajahn Pasanno, an old friend, suffers constant stomach pain in Thailand; a Bangkok doctor finds an ulcer and says the only cure is to eat…

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  This monk, you won't mind me mentioning Ajahn Passano, is a very good good monk, a good old friend. And he was over in in Thailand. Eventually went over to United States and started a monastery over there. But this one day, the you know, he always had terrible tummy ache. And when he checked it out with the doctor in Bangkok or somewhere, they found out it was a stomach ulcer. And how can you cure it? And the doctor said, "Well, you know, just the only way you can cure it is probably you have to eat in the afternoon." And that's a no-no for monks. We can't eat in the afternoon. Not allowed to. So he said went to see Ajahn Chah. Said, "Look, I have to eat in the afternoon, otherwise it's not going to heal. It's just really painful." You know what Ajahn Chah said, my teacher? I don't think you get away with it these days. He said "It's better to die than disrobe." He's really tough. It's not what Ajahn Passano wanted to hear. But anyways, I wasn't allowed to. But then uh we got to later, short time later, Ajahn Passano developed the scrub typhus, you know, which all of our monks got in that monastery. Had a very high fever. And when the typhus, you know, healed itself so did the stomach ulcer. He was okay.

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