Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

My soul is dark

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Solving life's problems without relying on religious hierarchies | Ajahn Brahm | 20-06-2014

1 min read

Content note: detention

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

going to the Port Heden detention center to see some of the Cambodian refugees who came here and having a talk for 5 10 minutes with this young boy, maybe about 22, 23, who'd been in the Port Head and Detention Center for about 3 4 years. His English was not much, but I remember him telling me sitting opposite this wooden on this wooden little uh table on benches, you know, it's like a barbecue area and just saying, he said, "My soul is dark. I have no hope." And that went straight inside of me. I will never forget that

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 45:07 (to 45:55)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

At the Port Hedland detention centre, a young Cambodian held for years told Ajahn Brahm in halting English: my soul is dark, I have no hope. He never forgot it. Hopelessness is cruel to anyone. Whether it's asylum seekers, prisoners or animals, we can always be a little kinder. Don't let anyone's soul go dark.

In brief (our summary)

Years ago at Port Hedland detention centre, Brahm sits with a ~22-year-old Cambodian refugee held 3–4 years. Limited English; the boy says 'My soul is dark. I have no hope.' Brahm never forgets it.

Teaching point

Detention without hope darkens a soul — kindness must reach asylum seekers.

When this story may help

  • injustice
  • refugees

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Solving life's problems without relying on religious hierarchies | Ajahn Brahm | 20-06-2014 · 2014-06-29 · ▶ watch from 45:07 to 45:55 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

1 other telling of this story

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions with machine-added punctuation; words left exactly as captioned. 'Port Heden'/'Port Head' = Port Hedland.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

  • Who learned the most after Cyclone Nargis

    In brief: Groups in Singapore took privileged, highly educated teenagers to southern Myanmar to help villages destroyed by Cyclone Nargis. The…

    Read full story

    They took a whole bunch of kids, elite, I think you probably call elite, rich parents, very comfortable, highly educated uh to it was I think southern Myanmar after the the Naris um cyclone destroyed so many villages in southern Myanmar. And because I go to Singapore, I've got some groups over there. Some of the kids were telling me that they learned more in those two or three weeks than in their whole school life. Being able just to be with children who they couldn't really understand their language and the Singaporean English or Chinese which they were talking totally incomprehensible but they could still bond. They could feel one another. and connect with one another and work together and have something which who benefited the most from that interaction. Was it the kids who had no place to go to school, no place to go to sleep, their houses destroyed, infrastructure disappeared by cyclone Naris? Was Naris, wasn't it? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. by that devastation. Who learned the most? It was the kids from Singapore. They learned so much about the big world and how they could help.

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • Funeral for the first wife years later

    In brief: At a ceremony Ajahn Brahm learns the man's first wife died of malaria just after they escaped the Khmer Rouge into Thailand; as a…

    Read full story

    Found out afterwards the story was that that was his first wife who he met in the villages. And during the time of the Khmer Rouge, that they were treated badly. And he escaped with his wife. He was one of the few people who managed to find his way over the border into what you thought would be safety in Thailand. But on that journey, you know, which people see in those movies, Killing Fields, he said after they they got to so-called safety, he found that during that journey his wife had contracted malaria fever. And it was so severe that they couldn't keep her alive. He come so close to success on his escape. He made it over the border and his wife made it over the border. But a few days later, she died. And of course, being a refugee with absolutely nothing, and being unable to mourn the death of his wife, even though his wife was there, he could not do anything at the time. He could not perform any ceremonies. He didn't have the means to do that. He waited for about, I don't know, how many years, 5 6 7 years. And he got married in the meantime. He obviously asked permission from his wife. He still had unfinished business with his first wife. The whole ceremony to which I attended was just for that first wife. It was her funeral. It was a time he could say thank you. A time he could let her go. And then go back and join his new wife, his second wife. And put away all that past. It was an occasion when if you cannot perform those funeral services when somebody passes away, especially in some countries now because of COVID, if you can't actually do them now, you can always do them later.

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • How dare you take away my grief?

    In brief: After a talk on freedom from pain, a mother of a Claremont serial-killer victim eyeballs Brahm: how dare you try to take away my grief —…

    Read full story

    this woman came up to me afterwards and I was kind of shocked by what she said. Apparently she was one of the mothers of uh those group of young women who became known as the the victims of the Claremont serial killer. And no one knew exactly who uh that person was. But then when I gave this talk about how to find freedom from that pain, she came up to me and she put her nose almost right on top of my nose. She was like really eyeballing me. And she said, I remember her comments, "How dare you try and take away my grief?

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • Ajahn Jagaro keeps eating

    In brief: A distraught Thai woman bursts into the monks' meal crying that her friend has shot herself; Ajahn Jagaro calmly keeps eating for a minute…

    Read full story

    One of the first times I saw this and it was very impressive was the former abbot and Spiritual Director of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia Ajahn Jagaro. I was with him when he was a monk just learning his trade in Thailand. Because we do learn a trade - this is a training which we go through. And we were having our morning meal when a Thai lady ran into our dining hall. She ran in, and she's obviously very upset, because they don't usually do this - interfering in a monk's meal. And she was saying something in Thai, and I actually caught it after a while, she said "Suchin is dead! Suchin is dead! She shot herself! She's committed suicide!". And I got really quite excited too because I knew that lady, she had cancer, we've been going to see her, talking to her, counselling her. She was a close disciple of the monastery. And that morning she had shot herself, and this was her best friend who found her body. She came in to the monastery just straight away, completely distraught having found her best friend committed suicide. You can understand what she felt like. And I understood that, and I looked to Ajahn Jagaro who was the head monk at that time to see what he would do. He understood what she'd said and he put his head down and carried on eating. And this lady - "She shot herself! She killed herself!" - and the monk just carried on eating as if nothing had happened. And after about one or two minutes she stopped moving her arms up and down, she stopped shouting, and at that point Ajahn Jagaro put down his spoon, put aside his bowl, and said "what happened?" I thought it was a beautiful piece of psychological calming a person's emotions down. Because he was not responding with anxiety to her great distress, he was just calming her down just by his actions and by his softness, she too calmed down in the space of one or two minutes. It was the most brilliant counselling I'd seen for years.

    Open story page·Watch this telling

All stories·Find a story for your situation