“I don't think I deserve so much happiness”

Related stories

• “Why?” — Ajahn Chah's answer: nothing

  In brief: After an inspiring talk by Ajahn Chah, the young monk skips attending him at the sauna and sits two blissful hours in meditation behind…

  Read full story▾▴

  He did have psychic powers sometimes. He could read people's minds. I remember he read my mind once on a retreat. You want to hear this story? Yeah. Come on. Because this is a deep part of this talk. Many of you heard it on retreats. But when people give really good talks, I mean very deep talks, they're inspiring. And on this occasion, Ajan came to the monastery where I was staying and he gave a talk and that day really hit the spot. everything being explained so beautifully and just oh your your mind is so inspired and peaceful and joyful and then know we had actually built a sauna for him you know sauners were not invented in uh Sweden or wherever they had sauners in Buddhist monasteries in India from the very beginning they talk about it in the ancient books you know sauners for the monks and nuns And [gasps] uh so we built him a sauna and he came over. So he gave a talk. I was so inspired. Achanta went off to the sauna and I was basically so inspired. There's so many other monks looking after acha. I decided just to go around the back of the hall and sit quietly meditating. I just I didn't want to waste that beautiful energy. cross my legs two hours. Oh, just blissing my head out. Beautiful meditation. So deep, so peaceful. And of course, when you go in deep meditation, you just don't know how long, but [snorts] you know, 2 hours it was. When I came out of that meditation afterwards, the first thought was you got lots of joy and peace and happiness is to do something good for your teacher. So I decided, well, I'm probably too late. Let's go and walk see if I can be of any service to him. So off I went walking towards the sauna and I was too late because he'd already finished the sauna. He was walking back with his driver and another Thai man. And we would cross the path and as we were about to cross you he looked at me and he l you know sometimes like only great teachers can really look at you just looking right into you. And for once, for once I didn't mind him looking into my mind. Other days, no. [laughter] I'd be embarrassed. But that day, my mind was, you know, just after a very deep, beautiful meditation, so pure and so peaceful, so bright. And it's very hard for me to uh to make you believe this, but many [snorts] of you know that I'm honest. I don't gain anything out of these stories, but you can actually feel him. This is my perception which I remember very clearly inside your mind just having a look just checking around like going in somebody's room or house and just having a walk around and I just yeah please come in for once I don't mind you having looking around today is is quite [snorts] clean and peaceful and beautiful inside and then when he emerged out this is just how I felt okay his body didn't disappear and just go up my nostrils or I think this was just you know his mind coming into my mind and reading everything and afterwards he looked at me very you can't say kindly you can't say fiercely was some other expression on his face just grabbing your attention eye to eye and of course my name is Ajan Brah but the full name is Brahma so he looked at me and said Brahma quite fiercely but kindly And then he said, "Why?" And he looked at me with so much kindness but strength. Why? And I was still only a young monk. And my answer was, "I don't know." And he laughed his head off. These stupid Western monks. [laughter] He was trying his best to try and enlighten me. He saw I was very peaceful and give it a shot anyway. But whenever you do something stupid like that, idiotic, you know, as far as wisdom is concerned, a child just burst out laughing. Our idiotic responses and behavior cause him so much pleasure, so much laughter. I think that's why he had so many western monks in his monastery to entertain him. No, there's a lot of kindness there too. But then he became serious again and he looked at me once more. He said, "Broma, I'll tell you the answer." And wow, I was really excited. This great monk was giving me a personal teaching just after come out of a deep meditation and he asked me the question why I got it wrong. But he wanted to tell me what the answer was. the answer to the question why from Achan he looked at me I'll tell you the answer I was so excited and he said my me I any Thai people here oh yes you know what that means he said there's nothing there's nothing. And then he looked at me and said, "Bamsa, do you understand with a lot of kindness?" I said, "Yes." And he looked at me again and said, "No, you don't." [laughter] And he went away. Oh, that really hurt. [laughter] But what a beautiful lesson that was. Just when he gave me that wonderful answer, what's the answer to the question? Why? Why? Answer is is nothing. Do you understand? No, you don't. [laughter] But one day you will. Seeds have been planted.

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• Mrs. Calm and Mr. Insight climb the hill

  In brief: Mrs. Samatha (calm) climbs a hill for its peace; her husband Mr. Vipassana (insight) climbs it for the view. At the top she finds the view…

  Read full story▾▴

  Once upon a time, Mrs. Samata that means calm and her husband Mr. Insight, Mr. Whipasa decided to go on a walk up a hill. Mrs. Samita, Mrs. calm went up to the top of the hill cuz it was so peaceful on top of that hill and Mr. Weipasa her husband Mr. Insight he went up there because he had a beautiful view on top of the hill now they both went up there for different reasons but when Mr. Sam got up the top of the hill Mr or Mrs. Yeah, you'll know what I mean. They had a sex change halfway up the hill. Probably they went Mrs. Sam go the right way. Mrs. Sam, Mrs. Peace got to the top of the hill. Oh, she enjoyed the peace. It was so calm on top of the hill away from the town and the city and the roads. But it was not only calm up there, she saw the view as well. And when Mason, Mr. Insight, when he got to the top of the hill, oh, he enjoyed the view cuz that's what he went up there for. But you also experience a beautiful peace because on the top of the hill the peace and the view always coexist.

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• “That monk, he's on the gear”

  In brief: At a Buddha-statue installation in an English open prison, Ajahn Brahm is beaming as he circles the statue; one watching prisoner tells…

  Read full story▾▴

  One time, I was visiting a prison in UK You know, we spend a lot of time in prison as monks, I often tell people: Visiting prisons, I always would keep a log of how many hours and minutes I spent doing community work in prison to be used as credit, in case I ever got sentenced for something (Laughs) look, I've already done about... the equivalent of about two or three months you should take that off (Laughs). But anyway, I was inside this jail, cause it was a ceremony, somebody had sweet talked the British government into putting a Buddha statue In the middle of an open prison, a big one! And you know, it's very easy for people to sponsor a Buddha statue especially inside a prison, wow, it's amazing! And so we did a installation ceremony. And for those who ever come and see some of the Buddhist rituals, one of the favourite ones is actually we go around three times flowers, candles and incense, we go around It's like an act of worship, reverence you know, it's interesting, where this comes from we don't know but they also do that in Mecca, when they go around the, whatever it's called ...the Kaaba, always go three times around, wearing white this is incredible similarities between our different traditions where they came from I don't know, but it's... that's Buddhist Anyhow... There we where, going round three times, and I was inspired I was happy, Amazing, something good being done in a prison! Not just locking people up and reenforcing how guilty they should feel but no, just something which is inspiring and I was just so happy with a big smile on my face much more than I usually have cause, you know, more inspiration and at the corner of my eye I saw these two prisoners they just got nothing to do, nothing was on the TV that night so they just hung out to see what the hell was going on with these crazy people with brown robes and a Buddha statue so just, you know, having a quick look and then I heard them, one looking to me... looking at the other prisoner and pointing to me he said: "That monk, he's on the gear" (Laughs) If you don't know what gear means you know, it's like, some sort of drug cause that's the only thing they could explain the happiness from just some medication; it's not medication! you know, it's meditation, not medication

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• The crooked trees are the beautiful ones

  In brief: At a mental-health conference a woman apologises to Ajahn Brahm: when he walked in she thought “who is this wanker?” — but his talk made…

  Read full story▾▴

  this is the story I told this at a conference on mental health during the wintertime last year, and that was over in the convention centre in Perth. And they were the person came up to me afterwards and said, she apologised to me, because she said, "When I first saw you coming into our conference", now please excuse the language. This is what she said, "I thought who is this wanker coming to our conference?" And she came to apologise for thinking like that, because I made her laugh, I made her cry, what made her cry. These were clients who have been through mental health problems. And were just trying to do something to improve the service for others. So the story which made her cry, is my story of the the trees in the forest. I often use this when people go to Bodhinyana monastery or go to Jhana Grove, but you know, don't need to say it there, say it here as well. If you go this weekend and go for a walk in the forest somewhere, please find a perfect tree for me. A tree which has got all of the branches equally spaced, only green leaves, no yellow leaves, no brown leaves, no leaves which have been eaten by the insects, which is perfectly straight, not crooked, or leaning to the left or the right. And with a bark, which hasn't been damaged by the bush fires or by the winds and things hitting it. A bark without scars on it. If you can find such a tree, you'll be the first in the world to find a tree in the natural forests because every tree you look at them. They're all bent and crooked. They've all got branches which have fallen off and that leaves holes where the birds and other animals can nest. And if you look at the leaves, there's lots of yellow leaves and brown leaves and leaves which have been eaten by insects and all the trees are crooked and bent. And the scars on their bark, they're just the bark is really rough, and knobbly and scarred. They're the beautiful trees. And I said in this talk if you are one of those trees, all bent and crooked, with heaps of scars on the bark with branches which have been ripped off by the storms of your life. You belong as one of the beautiful trees in the forest, you're my favourites. Because certainly I like the crooked trees, the bent trees, with all the scars and the knobbly bits on the outside. They're the ones which are beautiful.

  Open story page·Watch this telling