Nick's kindness cracked the 'dog'

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• Coffee for “the Dog”

  In brief: A prisoner who hates the cruel officer he must serve coffee — the man who deliberately made another inmate miss his wife's rare visit —…

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  The first time, over 20 years ago, when I told this story it was when I was teaching in prison, in Karnet Prison Farm, just down the road from my monastery. We still go there most Fridays. When I was teaching that at Karnet Prison Farm one of the prisoners complained and he said, "That is just new age rubbish. It doesn't work in the real world, especially in a prison. Prisons are tough places. If you've got a difficult person you've got to stand up for yourself. That's the only language they understand." Of course, I wasn't having any of that. I said, "I don't believe you." He said, "You don't live in prison." I said, "Monastery we have cells, we have wall around." Actually, they don't have a wall around Karnet but we have a wall around our monastery. Sometimes people, in the early years, they'd actually drive all the way to Karnet Prison Farm and ask where are the monks. [laughter] It was very embarrassing. Luckily, there weren't any monks in it. But anyway, I challenged this guy, I said, "Okay, in this prison, who is the most difficult person you have to deal with?" The prisoner I challenged was with a number of other prisoners. He said, "The chief officer. The chief officer, my job is to serve him tea and coffee every day. That's my job in prison. I hate that guy. He's always really nasty." He told me a story which happened a week before. One of the prisoners in Karnet, he hardly ever had a visit from his family because it's such a hard place to get to. There's no public transport and if you're poor and haven't got a car you have to find a friend who can actually take you all that way. It's a difficult place to get to. He said this man's wife had managed to get a lift to come and see him, but before you can go and see your relations in prison you have to check in, say your name, go through all the security stuff. The chief officer had seen this woman checking in and knew that she had come to see this prisoner and decided to be cruel to the prisoner. On the PA system he said so-and-so, I've got a job for you on the other side of Karnet Prison Farm and sent him to a place where the PA system didn't reach. It's a huge prison farm. He did it on purpose because as soon as his wife had checked in the PA system announced prisoner so-and-so, your wife is here, please go to the visitor's area, but he couldn't hear it from where he'd been sent. The message was repeated two or three times. There was a search to try and find him. They did find him. By the time they found him and he came back visiting hours are over. Better luck next time. He said, "The chief officer did this on purpose with no reason other than spite and trying to give the prisoners a harder time than they deserved. That's why, in that time in prison, he was called a dog." I said, "You hate him?" He said, "Yes. Really big time. He's so difficult. He never respects us, never says anything to us. He always puts us down and treats us like dirt." I said, "Great. This is a challenge. You meet him every day serving tea and coffee. Be kind to him. Don't embrace him with your arms, you'll get in trouble that way, but at least you can embrace him with your heart." I said, "How you can do that is every time you serve a cup of tea or coffee try and put some love and care into that tea or coffee. Try and make it the most beautiful, delicious cup of coffee you possibly can make. Find out what he likes and be kind. Get lots of love and compassion whenever you serve him tea and coffee." So all credit to this prisoner, he tried it, for a week. When I came back after one week, "How is it going?" He said, "It's a complete waste of time. I'm really trying hard to be kind to this guy but every time, even if I put lots of effort into making a nice cup of tea and coffee, he completely ignores me as if I don't exist, as if I'm lower than a cockroach. He even says to the cockroach get out of here, but not me." So I told him, "Carry on." It was about, I'm not sure how long, maybe a couple of months, I had to encourage him and force him to do this, before we got what I call the big breakthrough. One day I actually came to visit and he couldn't wait to tell me this. He said, he'd made this prison officer a beautiful cup of coffee with cream or whatever he found, just the type he thought the prison officer liked, and managed to find him some biscuits which he noticed the prison officer liked, and he said, "Here you are sir, have this coffee, and I've found some special biscuits which I know you like," and the prison officer said, "Er." He grunted. That was our breakthrough. [laughter] It was the first time he acknowledged that this prisoner actually lived and existed and breathed. That grunt, I said, "Wow, this is exciting!" That is the crack in the dam wall. I was right. It was only about two or three weeks later the prisoner managed to find a special cup of tea, a sandwich or whatever, handed it to this prison officer, the chief officer, who was a dog, and the chief officer turned around and said, "Thank you." All the other prisoners were telling me this and they were all looking at me and they said, "You don't realize just how the prison grapevine works. That has gone to every prison in the state." That this chief officer could say thank you to a prisoner was unbelievable. I won the challenge. I knew I'd win eventually. Even such a dog you can change into a cuddly little puppy with lots and lots and lots of kindness.

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• Prisoners smiled back at the circumambulation

  In brief: At a Thai-community prison-temple opening ceremony, during circumambulation he catches two prisoners' eyes with a big smile — they smile…

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  there was a couple of prisoners. I saw them as I was going around out of the corner of my eye and they looked at me and saw my big smile

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• 'Whatever you're doing, come and do it again'

  In brief: Years ago a senior prison officer at the Canning Vale jail phones Ajahn Brahm insisting he come back to teach himself, not send other…

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  I remember just uh getting this phone call years ago from one of the prison officers in the jail in Canning Veil. I think that's Hake. I'm not quite sure. They keep changing the names of the prisons. But anyway, in that prison over there, there was one of the prison senior prison officers and they really they wanted they made sure they wanted to talk to me. And I said, "Why?" He said, "We want you to come back to our prison to teach your meditation or whatever you're teaching over there." I said, "Look, I'm really busy these days. Got so many other duties. I usually send other monks to actually to go there." And he said, "No, we want you." I said, "Why?" He said, "Because something has happened. I've been in this prison service all my life." He said, "And I've noticed that every prisoner who comes to your class, everyone once they're released from jail never comes back again. Zero recidivism." I thought, "That's impossible." Said, "What have I been doing?" He said, "I don't know what you've been doing, but come and do it again, please.

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• The prisoner who fed the cat

  In brief: A depressed prisoner insists he is only a bad person. Ajahn Brahm has him list bad deeds on the left of a sheet and good deeds on the…

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  there was one of these prisoners who just so depressed? And when I said, why are you depressed? Look, I'm in jail. I did a bad thing. I feel so terrible. This my life is over. Finished. And then usually I asked him, well, what good things have you done? Nothing. You must have done something good. No, I'm a bad person. And then and then he he uh wrote out I wrote out this piece of paper line down the middle your name on the top. Now on the left hand side write all the bad I won't show it to anybody else. Write down all the bad things you've done. Things which you put been put in jail for and things which you did but weren't put in jail for. Put them all down. They won't show them to anybody else. He trusted me. That's one of the nice things about being a monk. People actually trust you and you know if that's what you say that's what you're going to do. So he wrote all these things on the left hand column all the terrible stuff he'd done. He felt good about confessing opening up. But then I asked him on the right hand side all the good things you've done. Nothing. No. Come on. You must have done something. The prison had a cat and I knew that he looked after the cat. Did you give the cat anything this morning? Said I gave it source of milk. Put it down. Had to force him to put down and write down. Fed the cat saucer of milk. But then he found another thing you could put down afterwards. Once you break that damn wall, it was amazing all the kind good things he'd done that past week. And you filled up the right hand side of that piece of paper. You know what I did next? tore that paper down the middle, threw away all the terrible things he did, and gave him the good things he did. Please keep this. Put it next to your bed in your cell. Photocopy if you like, but please keep that to realize you're not such a bad person after all

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