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• The tadpole who studied water

  In brief: Analogy: intelligent tadpole goes to school and university and even becomes a nun studying the chemical composition of water — while…

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  little tadpole and she was born in this wonderful lake she was a very intelligent tadpole and she went to school and she went to university and she even became a nun this little tadpole and at university she learned all about water now this chemical composition or what it does and when she was an Angie even studied the abbe de mer on water what its nature was but even the socio is one of the highly most intelligent tadpoles in the whole lake and she had a PhD in hydraulics could the little tadpole understand what water really was no more than a fish could understand what water is

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• The professor who ate the menu

  In brief: A philosophy professor waits two months for a table at an exclusive restaurant, is handed a beautiful parchment menu — and eats the menu,…

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  There was once a professor of philosophy here in Perth, Yeah ... the experience is important, which we are now going to see with the simile of the professor and... Ahh, experience is past when it's interpreted from the knowledge of your past, in other words you take the experience and you compare it with something else, which means it becomes limited by the past. To learn the words actually stand in the way of truth, that's why that in meditation we learn how to be absolutely quiet, to feel and to know, that becomes the truth in the same way that the student of Lao Tzu could actually see... didn't see the sunset, only saw the words, and that great Taoist master made a very good comment that it is the person if they wanna see the sunset they gotta put aside all the words, descriptions, the words, actually block the experience that's it. Okay, back to the professor. There was a professor who of philosophy, in the university... whenever you mention a professor of philosophy in Buddhism they always get a bad rap, so if there are any professors over here, I do apologize, it's just our tradition. But this professor of philosophy, He found out there was a new five-star restaurant opening in Perth, and he wanted to go there to test out the food, so he made an appointment, he rang up, there was a two-month waiting list, that's how popular the restaurant was. And so two-month waiting list, he decided to book his place there anyway, and when he booked his place there, two months later, he walked up at the restaurant. And of course they wanted to see his ID, to make sure he'd really booked a place. And so they checked his ID and yes he was booked in. So he went in, the maitre d' took him to his table, he sat down at the table and a waiter came, you know these really well-dressed waiters, and gave him the menu. And this menu was in thick parchment, and the menu was written in gold letters and calligraphy, even the menu was a work of art, as you would expect in an expensive restaurant, this is no fish and chip shop, this is a top-class five-star restaurant. So he looked at the menu and then he ate the menu and then he paid and left. Because the professor had no idea of the difference between the menu and the food.

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• Coffee with a control freak

  In brief: Someone invites you for coffee then dictates Gloria Jeans not Dome, latte not cappuccino, Anzac biscuit not muffin, back seats not front,…

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  this is where I come to my little simile which I developed over a few years of the coffee shop the similar the coffee shop goes like this now those of you whove come to every Retreat you are going to hear the same story again and again and again until you understand it it when you understand it you don't need to come to a retreat anymore you become enlightened so your Penance for coming every time is to hear the same stories every time so anyway this is a coffee shop simil someone gives you a call in the afternoon and say are you free this afternoon come for a cup of coffee they say okay I'm free this afternoon and then they tell you we are going to go to Gloria Jeans not Dome not coffee beans not Starbucks we're going to go to Gloria Jeans cuz I like Gloria Jeans I know you don't like Gloria Jeans by the way that this should be sponsored by Gloria Jeans I expect a free cup of coffee the next time I go there for sponsoring Gloria Jeans coffee shops and I should get sponsorship as a monk you know because I know this is actually recorded and you do go sort of uh uh online overseas and many people actually listen to my talks how many the talks in Mar how many people actually download them is that 30 40,000 that sort number so imagine we can get sponsorship I could sort of open up my robe and underneath the robe was where's it gone Gloria Jeans we can make a lot of money for the Buddhist society that way we can finish off the Damar NS monry no worries at all aab only uses Gillette razor place the possibilities are endless but anyway so she said I want to go to Glory jeans I don't want to go to those other coffee shops cuz I don't like them and you are going to have a latte not a cappuccino cuz I know you just know like your cappuccinos but I like lates and you're going to have one too and you're not going to have one of those muffins those blueberry uh nambi pambi muffins you're going to have a Anzac bis biscuit cuz it's like anac day soon so we're going to have a biscuit and that's what you're going to wait we're not going to sit out in the front where you like sitting we're going to sit in the back we're not going to talk about your stupid Buddhism we're going to talk about politics and I like talking about politics we're going to stay there for an hour and a half because that's how much time I have not an hour not 2 hours 1 hour and a half okay now if someone invited you for a cup of coffee and they told you where you going to go what coffee you going to drink what are you going to eat what are you going to talk about where you going to sit and for how long would you want to go with them of course not you make up some excuse I just remembered oh I'm terribly sorry I've got to go to the dentist this afternoon it slipped my mind I'm terribly sorry anything to get out of going with such a control freak

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• Celebrate the ending of the stuck song

  In brief: After years without music in a NE Thai forest, a Bangkok visa trip lets a pop song stick in his head for days. Fighting it made it worse;…

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  somebody walked past my room uh with one of these radios and they were playing some pop music and I made a mistake of really listening to it and it was very delightful to listen to sort of some some song which was probably in the hip parade somewhere but the point is as soon as I started listening to it and enjoying it got stuck in my head and I couldn't sort of get it out and I kept it instead of meditating repeating the music to myself over and over and over and over and over again. It's the songs pop up and get stuck. So a long time in a couple of days being concerned with this the solution I found which worked for me anyway was actually instead of trying to stop the sound which didn't work. It made it come up more and more and more. I was trying I always discover when you fight something it usually makes it worse. When you try to get rid of it it stays much longer. So instead of trying to get rid of it, I decided to really get into it. And especially with the ending, the finale, the last few seconds, instead of D whatever it was and then carrying on again, I really gave it everything emphasis. When I emphasize the endings, then the beginnings never occurred

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