My son is a sports mechanic

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• Twelve blessed strings for Sri Lanka

  In brief: During a one-day match at the WACA, with Australia hammering Sri Lanka, young helpers come to Ajahn Brahm: the Sri Lankan captain wants…

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  This was the um the time I got into trouble. I had to I had hid this for many years. I should have just admitted it straight away. And that was with the with the um cricket. Many of the Sri Lankans know this story. I haven't told this to the the last uh uh there's a Sri Lankan New Year over in 70th anniversary was it Was it? Or independence or whatever. Anyway, in front of the the former um governor of Western Australia, Quentin Bryce. And she reminded me of this. But fortunately she's she's retired now, so I can't get into any more trouble about this because it was the um sometime people ask, "What are you doing going to the Sri Lankan Independence Day when you're a Brit? You know, that's like you know, that they kicked your ancestors out of the country. So what are you coming to celebrate?" I said, "Because I support Sri Lanka and their cricket team." Because what happened? There was a cricket match between Sri Lanka and Australia at the old West Australian cricket ground, the WACA. And only one day match. And at lunch interval the Australians, they were just hammering the Sri Lankans. They were winning by such a big amount. So some of the boys who actually come here, they were helping out at the stadium. They came here and said, "Ajahn Brahm, Ajahn Brahm, we've been asked by the captain of the Sri Lankan cricket team to get some holy string from a good monk and we think you're a good monk. Can you do this blessing string?" And so now I shouldn't have done this. I mean, it's a ridiculous thing to do, but I I blessed 12 pieces of string. Cuz you know, one for the 12th man in the cricket. I knew cricket. So 12 pieces of string I blessed and I sent them to the ground. You know what happened? Sri Lanka lost. But because they asked for it too late. [laughter] But that was not the really important match because that that was a warm-up game for the World Cup cricket. And as every Sri Lankan knows the Sri Lankans had never won much before. But this they had the final Sri Lanka this World Cup cricket final, Sri Lanka versus Australia. And you know how much Australians love their cricket. And Sri Lanka won. Against all predictions, Sri Lanka beat Australia and won the World Cup cricket. And that was Any Sri Lankan remembers that. Remember the occasion. It was uh the captain. I remember his name, Arjuna Ranatunga. Cuz I saw people show me in the the Western Australian newspaper, the big picture of the captain holding up the World Cup and the whole Sri Lanka, they just celebrated. I don't know for how long. And of course Australia was just so upset. They just missed out. But as he was holding up the cup, you know what I saw? On his hand my string. It was my string which was on all of the cricketers' hands there except the Australians. That was why they won the World Cup. Cuz an Australian monk and it took years before I admitted that. Otherwise I got kicked out of the country.

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• Can I play for the other side?

  In brief: In his last ever soccer match, for his Cambridge college, the other team turns up with only nine players against eleven. By half-time his…

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  The last soccer match I ever played this is absolutely true for the college you know which I went to in Cambridge if you know soccer it's 11 aside only nine of their team turned up and we were 11 so we had two more players than they did and at halfime after 45 minutes we were about 6n up it was such a onesided game that I went to my captain and said, "Can I play on the other side for the second half to make a game of it?" He swore at me. He said, "No, we're here to win." And that just I wasn't going to play anymore because for me it was like playing for fun. It didn't matter who won.

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• Oh my God — the Fremantle Docker

  In brief: Four Catholic mothers compare pride: one son's a priest (Father), one's a bishop (Your Grace), one's a cardinal (Your Eminence). The…

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  There was four mothers having a cup of coffee in Cottesloe somewhere. (LAUGHTER) And one of the mothers said, "This round of coffee is on me because I'm celebrating. Today," she said, "Today, this morning, my son became a Catholic priest." She said, "I'm so proud of him," —this is a bunch of Catholics because it doesn't work if it's not Catholic, nothing against Catholics, (LAUGHTER) it doesn't work otherwise— and she said, "Now, everybody in his church bows and calls him father. I'm so, so proud of my son." And then the next lady, another Catholic, she sniffs and says, "Ah, that's nothing. Only a priest? My son became a priest ten years ago. Now, he is a bishop; he's a bishop. When he, in his church, people go on one knee; they kiss his ring and they call him: Your Grace! Your Grace! I'm so proud of him." The third lady, she sips her coffee and says: "Only a bishop? My son was a bishop five years ago. He is now a cardinal. When he comes into the church, everybody gets down on both knees and they call him: Your Eminence! Your Eminence! I'm so proud of my son. He's now a cardinal." Then they all look at the fourth lady. and the fourth lady finishes her coffee, and she says: "That's nothing; that's nothing at all. My son... my son never joined any church; my son...my son joined the Fremantle Dockers. He is 6 foot 4 inches tall; he's drop-dead gorgeous; when he comes into a room, all the girls go right on the floor, and say: Oh my God! Oh my God! (LAUGHTER) I'm so proud of him." (LAUGHTER) Okay. for those who are listening overseas, Fremantle Dockers is one of the footy teams over here. Please, excuse me, if you're an Eagle supporters, but I try and balance it every time

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• The Colombia coach brought her World Cup team

  In brief: The head coach of Colombia's women's soccer team, in Perth for the Women's World Cup, came to a Friday talk after listening on YouTube and…

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  head coach of the Colombian international women's soccer team. They're playing the Women's World Cup in Australia. And one of those teams from Colombia, they were playing here in Perth the following night on a Saturday evening. And she said she'd listened to my talks on YouTube and she brought her team along to be able to get a boost of energy. You know, even like meditation can help. You know, honestly, not exaggerating. Check it out if you wish. That evening or next evening, sorry, Saturday, that Colombia, they beat some other team or something in the women's World Cup. The only team we ever beat, but at least it was because of my chanting

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