Miso soup against the bomb

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• Knocking in the coffin — the monks jumped first

  In brief: A Thai lady who comes on Tuesdays says an old woman in her village was in the coffin ready for cremation when knocking began. The monks…

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  I remember telling this story a couple of days ago and one of the Thai ladies who comes every Tuesday to Bodhinyana Monastery, she said she experienced something similar to that in her village. This an old lady died and they had her in a coffin and the monks were there ready to do the cremation and then she was knocking in the coffin. This is a true story. Knocking in the coffin. And apparently the first to jump away were the monks who were there ready to do the jumping. [laughter] They were not that impressive at all. And then most of the other people ran away quickly cuz they were terribly scared, but then they opened the coffin and she was still alive.

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• The forest monk chased by the tiger

  In brief: Ajahn Dhammindu (caption: Mark Edge and Drew) tells of a wandering Thai forest monk who insists on camping on a tiger trail despite the…

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  many years ago there was a well I was told a story by this Mark Edge and Drew and long time ago before he died he said there was a monk who was wandering from place to place in Thailand and uh just know for Solitude for Freedom meditating and he came to one Village late in the afternoon and told the head man of the village that I just arrived you have to tell the head man so the villagers know to get some food for you the following morning for your arms around otherwise you don't eat I said I just arrived I want to meditate in the forest the jungle close by just to let you know I'll be here when arms around in the morning and that's when the head man told him well you better stay here in the village with us he said no I'm a forest monk now stay in the village there was a tiger in the vicinity in the last few days it's eaten two or three water buffaloes and even one of our kids you know it is a really dangerous this is the jungles 40 years ago very dangerous tiger but this Mark said I am not afraid of tigers show me where the tiger comes from he said I can't do that it'll kill you I said no I am a monk I have no fear really said the head man okay follow me and about a kilometer outside of the village you could see where the Tiger Trail cut through the jungle and the Mark said right here I am going to put my mosquito net and here I'm going to stay tonight I'm going to face down the tiger real Brave Monk would you be able to do that knowing there is a not a man-eating Tiger but a monkey eating tiger right there is gonna come tonight are you willing to face the the Tiger in the middle of the night so this Mark was really a tough Monk and so the head man helped him set up and then the head man went back to make sure before he got dark he didn't want to face a tiger let the monk face the Tiger and that night the Monk was meditating so peacefully so so calm in the jungle once all the shakadas stopped their their racket the jungle at night time is just so peaceful and he was meditating peacefully peacefully peacefully breathing in peace breathing out let go and that's when he started to hear that's the best I got for for sound effects not very good but we're riding on the cheap and I bought a society these days so many stuff we can't afford anything so he heard the sound of footsteps coming towards him and those four steps were there four steps of an animal so there wasn't any more breathing in peace beating out I let go he reverted to the old Thai way of meditating they used to do breathing in board breathing out oh using the name of the Buddha with the in-breath and the out breath as a protectionist to remind you to be peaceful but and the first steps got louder as the animal approached and his chanting became and as it got really close and it's got even closer he opened his eyes he couldn't resist it and he saw this massive tiger says white fangs not teeth glistening in the Moonlight is big eyes it's huge Jaws could rip anything apart even Arnold Schwarzenegger would have no chance Superman a loser in front of this tiger this was a huge monster of a tiger and as I remembered his eyes again he changed his meditation object and the next thing he knows you know sometimes we just don't know how this happened these things happen he found himself running towards the village and his his meditation was not very very um quiet now instead of doing tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger has this this animal chased him to the Village

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• Root canal without anaesthetic

  In brief: As a young monk at the first Perth centre in North Perth, Ajahn Brahm goes to a free dental clinic and is assigned a trainee dentist — the…

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  And even telling that story, uh just you know, one of uh uh vice presidents years ago. I remember uh Sit Oh, now what was his name? Uh Dr. Chan. This was a time when we first opened this place up with um uh the Premier Gordon Reid. But anyway, his son, Sing How. Um it just happened that uh uh Dr. Chan, he was a uh a dentist. And his son had joined in the the uh family sort of trade as dentists. He started off like almost like being an apprentice, learning his stuff. And in those days, you had to work in these like free dental clinics. And there was one in North Perth. And I was just around the corner from our first Buddhist center in Back in Audley Street in North Perth. So when I needed some medical attention, I just went there even not really knowing him. Sort of you know, I was assigned to him as my dentist. And he had a look, and because I was a monk, he said, "Well, best one of your teeth is not really good. Best to do a root canal." So I guess to do a root canal. And I saw him about 2 or 3 months ago. He came to Bodhinyana Monastery. It was the anniversary of his mother's death, and she's in uh her ashes are in the wall of Bodhinyana Monastery. And I just happened to see him, and I went to say hello and just just hadn't seen him for years. He said, "Ah." And he said to his friend, "This is Ajahn Brahm, and I did his root canal when he was a young monk." And he said I was so impressed because he refused to take any any anesthetic. He said, "Even as he was doing my root canal without anesthetic, even though tears were coming out of my He said, "Ah, it's okay. It's only tears." And just have my root canal without anesthetic. And he asked me what type of like crown do you want on that root canal? I said, "Oh, the cheapest one. You know, no need to anything flashy or something." And apparently the cheapest one was gold. And monks aren't supposed to to own gold, especially on your teeth. So I said, "I can't take gold. It's It's wrong. It's It's against my precepts." He says, "Well, I have to give you the expensive one." So anyway, he didn't mind giving me the expensive one anyway cuz he was a Buddhist, and his I think his father helped out.

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• Ajahn Singtong came before the chicken

  In brief: Young Ajahn Singtong overslept at Ajahn Maha Bua's strict monastery, where missing the morning meeting meant no alms round and no food. He…

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  This is a great story of Ajan Singong because somebody asked me just the last day of the retreat, can you tell a couple of stories about this Thai forest monk called Ajan Singong? He died some years ago. But he was a young monk with a very fierce monk called Ajan Mahaba. Ajan Mahab was a well-known meditator but very very strict. probably the strictest of the monks in the time when I was a young monk. And so he had a very strict rule in his monastery. If any monk missed the morning meeting, if they didn't come for the chanting and meditation in the morning, that meant they could not go on the arms round. If they didn't go on the arms round, they couldn't eat that day. They had to fast. So anyway, this aan Singong, he got up late. He slept in and he thought, "Oh my goodness, the meeting has already started in the morning. That means I will not be able to join the meeting. I will not be able to go on arms round. That means I will have to fast today. Ah, what should I do?" The important thing with religions like Buddhism, we call it a religion, is it's always innovative. Use your insight. There's always another possibility somehow or other. So what he did now, he was a a local lad. Now in those days, you know, the forest is all around you. This was when was this 1970 something. The forest was all around you. So he went into the forest and in the morning he managed to find a forest chicken and he grabbed it. Now some of the things you see over there was really amazing. There was one of these I never saw this but the other monks I grew up with they saw this. It's real. There was know when monks were sitting a cobra, a king cobra came in to the hall and it was actually not trying to attack anybody. It was just basically didn't know where it was going and started moving and this monk grabbed it. That's what he used to do when he was a lay person as a snake catcher. He grabbed it. It's amazing to see that. But anyway, that's not recommended. Please don't practice these things at home. But this uh uh at this particular time the uh where was I going with this one? Ainto. Yes. He managed to capture a chicken. Chicken is much safer to capture than a than a snake. Captured a chicken. He had a rope and he tied the rope around the chicken's neck and pulled the chicken to the hall. You wonder why is he doing that? The punch line is coming in a moment as he was as dragging the chicken. The chicken was making a lot of noise as chickens would do, as you would do if you've been dragged to the hall early in the morning. Poor chicken. And as soon as they got to the hall then a singong let the chicken go but everybody heard that noise and then after the the meeting was finished they were about to go in arms round a mar boy said you came late you can't go in arms round and this monk said no no no no he said mar gone guy which is a tie word it's an it's an idiom said no I came before the chicken Like what we saying is before cockcrow which means you got up very early. It was meant he got up so early as he came before the chicken crows. Okay, you managed to get it somehow or other. And all the monks laughed and even Ajam laughed. Okay, you can come on Armstrong.

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