I'll only go to work on Fridays

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• “I always wanted to become a monk — but not now!”

  In brief: At a 2,000-strong talk in Singapore, a man challenges what a monk could know about real-world stress. Ajahn Brahm gives an hour-by-hour…

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  I remember giving a simile like this earlier on when I was in Singapore giving a big talk to about 2000 people and at the end of the talk somebody asked a question, it wasn't much of a question, more like a comment, It was very much what I just said, they said to me how do you, you are a Buddhist monk how do you know what stress is. What you said may make sense in theory but in the real world where we do have to work so hard, it is much different, what do you know about stress, and then I told him what I had done that day in Singapore. Getting up at 4'o clock, how many of you get up at 4'o clock in the morning and you start working from the very beginning and that day I listed all the things which I had done that day, visiting people in hospital, doing work as the Spiritual Patron of the Buddhist Fellowship in Singapore and Director of the Brahm Centre, Singapore, that is overseas, this is not my core business, which is right here, all this stuff which I am doing, I gave hour by hour account of what I had done that day, and after I told what I've done that day, to say, "look I qualify, all the work which I do and get done, I qualify as someone who knows what I am talking about--working hard and dealing with stress". Then they came to the microphone afterwards and said Wow...I never realised how hard monks have to work in our modern world, he said you know, I always wanted to become a monk one day but not now...no..no..no !!

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• The husband's photo in her handbag

  In brief: Married 30 or 40 years, a woman always carries her husband's photo in her handbag. Whenever life gets really difficult she takes it out,…

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  that um story of that woman who who um always kept a photograph of her husband in her in her purse you know in her s of handbag and they were been married for about 30 40 years and she always carried a photo PHH of her husband around with her to use in times of difficulty and trouble because whenever life was real problem whenever it was just so difficult she would open up her handbag and take out the picture of the man she'd been married to for 30 years and she looked at him and said if I can enure that I can enure anything

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• The patient monk's police escort

  In brief: Asked what a patient monk does on a four-hour, 220 km drive from Bangkok airport to a retreat, Ajahn Brahm reveals he got a police escort…

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  what happened to me last week when I went to Thailand to teach a Meditation Retreat this is know how a monke is patient cuz I landed at the airport and it was a 220 km uh ride to the uh Retreat Center I was giving my retreat so it usually takes about 4 hours hours so what does a monk do for 4our Journey I'll tell you what I did I got police escort we we we we only took me 2 hours that's what happens when you're a patient monk you get there faster than anybody it's very fun being a monk having a police escort but I was very disappointed when I came back to Perth where's my police car actually once when I was in Sri Lanka that was given a police escort down the G a very busy road and so you know I had a policeman in front of me in the car with the cers waiting and I was sitting in the back with know a friend who was a driver and the driver's one I think his brother passed him on the other side of the road he didn't realize he was taking a monk to sort of an important engagement and his his brother seeing his uh uh this know the friend seeing his brother behind a police car sort of rang him on his mobile phone are you in trouble do you want a lawy is anything I could do so that's one of the problem troubles if you follow uh if you're following a police car think people think youve broken the law

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• Paid to be shouted at

  In brief: In ancient Greece a teacher charges his students a few extra coins every time he has to shout at them for doing something stupid. One…

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  There was this one, this was ancient Greece and there there was a teacher and he had many many students and he teach them everything. [snorts] But every time any one of those students did something stupid and the teacher would shout at the student, the teacher would charge a few extra dollars. It's reasonable. It's logical. Shouting at someone is a lot of effort. And the know it's not the teacher's fault that the student did something wrong. The student should pay the teacher an extra five bucks or something for being so stupid that the teacher had to shout at him. So this young man, he studied with his teacher for many years. Every time he made a mistake, teacher shout at him, he'd hand have to hand over another five bucks. But when he graduated and got a job in Athens somewhere, every time his boss shouted at him at work, this young man would laugh. [laughter] The boss at him again. [laughter] And they wonder know why you keep laughing at us when you get told off. Could you do that at work when somebody shouted at you? Could you laugh? Or was your partner they shouted at you, told you off and you go? [laughter] Could you do that? He said, "Why are you laughing at it?" He said, "Well, look, when I was a student, I had to be paid when people shouted at me. Now I get it for free. That's why I think it's so funny.

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