Being Mindful Stories

Analogy · Ajahn Brahm

Only tell them to do what they want to do

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Supernatural and Inspirational Stories About Monks | Ajahn Brahm | 2 February 2024

1 min read

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I read that uh years before in a book called the Chinese art of war. You ask what's a Buddhist monk doing reading a book called the Chinese art of war because they had lots and lots of very wise sayings in there. It was not just about you know violence. One of the generals in the Chinese army had perfect discipline and the emperor wanted to find out why. And how come everyone follows your instructions? Now any one of you in a management position in your life, please remember this is how to have good management skills. He said, "All my soldiers always follow my orders because I only ever tell them to do what they want to do. That's why they never disobey an order. Only tell them to do what they want to do." Of course, that doesn't make sense. How can you tell people to get up early in the morning? How do you tell people to go out and train really hard? How do you tell your soldiers to go into battle even though many of them will get injured or even killed? How can you get them to follow orders like that? And he said because he's already motivated them, inspired them. So even before the bell goes off in the morning, they're raring waiting to get get up and do something good. There's that motivation. Give them a reason for doing what they're doing. And if you give them that reason, of course, they will do what they want. They'll get up earlier than you expect. They'll train even harder. They'll go in there. I don't know why how you can convince them to give their lives, but many people do that

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 41:25 (to 43:33)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

An ancient Chinese general, the story goes, was never disobeyed, because he only ordered soldiers to do what they wanted to do. The secret was motivation. Ajahn Brahm doesn't order his monks out of bed; he inspires them with the beauty of early meditation. Give people a reason. Then they'll want to do it.

In brief (our summary)

From the Chinese Art of War: a general whose soldiers never disobey — because he only ever tells them to do what they want to do. Motivation and inspiration come first; then orders are already their wish.

Teaching point

Lead by giving people a reason — then they follow before you ask.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Supernatural and Inspirational Stories About Monks | Ajahn Brahm | 2 February 2024 · 2024-02-02 · ▶ watch from 41:25 to 43:33 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

2 other tellings of this story

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions with machine-added punctuation; words left exactly as captioned.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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Now you may think that's, such a simple and obvious answer. But if you practise that, if you take that on as one of the most important parts of your life, that 'now' really is the most important time. It really is; You'll find that your relationship to others, your relationship to life will totally change. For many people, "now" is not the most important time. We sacrifice too many moments of "now"; getting things out of the way, and then I'll be happy. For many people, "now" is not really important. That's why we get so old and all the things we should have done, we find we haven't done. Now is the most important time But the second question is the best. Who is the most important person? Yeah, can I hear you? Ah you are spoiling it. You've read it before. Most people when I say this, if they haven't heard it before, they all say "themselves", which is a wrong answer. We are in a such a self-centred society. We always think that I am the most important person in the world, which is totally wrong. And the answer, that's what I thought, first of all, because that's what I've been taught, come on, you are important. You make sure, that you get what you want. Your relationship, what satisfies you, your job which you really want What you really deserve in life. You go for it, you go and get it, you're really important. But the answer someone suggested was 'the person you're with'. The one in front of you is the most important person in the world. As soon as I heard that, this is what I mean by wisdom. You understand it. Why didn't I see that before? It is important. So whoever is in front of you, they are the most important person in the world. Give them that importance. And of course, as soon as I point that out, you know what I'm talking about, because how many times have you been talking with your partner and they've been ignoring you. They're not giving you a sense of importance. They are trying to get rid of you. I remember just when I was a student, when I read this story for the first time, Sometimes at the end of a lecture, I got up to the lecturer to ask a question. He wasn't listening to me; he was just trying to get rid of me. I was a small, hairy, insignificant student. He had better things to do. And that was a terrible feeling. That you're asking a question, and the other person was just trying to get rid of you. You weren't important to them. And if that happens to you too many times, you lose all your self-esteem, you get depressed. And you don't need to do that. So ever since I read that, and when I become a monk, one of the core practices, which I really try hard to live by, is even though I may be really tired, and you come up after the talk, and you want to ask a question, you are really important to me. I don't try and get rid of you, even if I'm really tired, because I try and practice; if you're right in front of me and I'm talking to you, you are the most important person in the world. And it's important for that. And there are many times in your life, you're by yourself. And of course, then, who you're with? You're with yourself. And then you're really important. So important that I said here before, whenever I go to bed at night, the last person I say goodnight to is myself. And I say that, "Good night me. Have a great night. See you in the morning." When I wake up in the morning, "Hi, good morning, here I am again. Have a great day me." That's no joke, I do that. I'm not crazy. And that actually is just showing that I'm important to me. Instead of just "No, you're not really important. So just sacrifice yourself, for the company, for your partner, for your kids, for other people." No, don't do that. So when you're by yourself, you are the most important person in the world. When you're with somebody, they're the most important person. And the last question, "What's the most important thing to do?" It's a obvious Buddhist answer, 'is to care', to care for yourself, to care for others.

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