The 2012 doomsday bet

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• “What if a tree did not fall when we were underneath it?”

  In brief: Walking home from Rabbit's house through a storm, little Piglet freezes as trees crash around them: “What would happen if a tree fell down…

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  So Winnie-the-Pooh was with his friend, Piglet. And Piglet was a very small being. Very kind. Very loyal. But being very small, was usually subject to a lot of fear. And then one day, they were walking back from Rabbit's house in a storm like we had today and yesterday. And as they were walking through the forest, trees were coming down around them, branches were crashing to the floor and even whole trees were being ripped off and smashing around them. That was very dangerous. So dangerous, so scary, that little Piglet could stand it no longer. He froze and he looked at his best friend, Winnie-the-Pooh, and said these words: "I can't go on any longer. I just can't. What would happen? What would happen if a tree fell down when we were underneath it?" And that was a possibility. And for a second, but only a second, the great philosopher and enlightened bear, Winnie-the-Pooh, was afraid, but only for a second. And then his wisdom kicked in and he looked at his terrified friend and replied with these reassuring words: "What would happen if a tree did not fall when we were underneath it? And that was also possible. In fact, even more possible. And that was the key to overcoming little Piglet's fear so he could move on with the thought, "What would happen if a tree did not fall when we were underneath it?" And that's exactly what happened, so he could go back safely.

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• Ajahn Chah reads a palm

  In brief: A lay supporter asks Ajahn Chah to read his palm. Ajahn Chah says Buddhist monks don't do that. The man argues cleverly: you just taught…

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  You are a monk, I'm sure you can predict the future. Come on, predict the future... and so this man came up to him, and said.. "Read the lines on the palm of my hand", he said. "...and we don't do that ..." (said Ajahn Chah) now that's not the sort of stuff... that you know great monks or teachers or nuns do... We actually teach the dhamma, and just. Man said, "you mean you won't do it?" and Ajahn said "No"... and then the person was prepared... he was very sneaky and he said... he tried to outwit Ajahn Chah... don't ever try to do that... but he tried... he said, "You remember the last sermon you gave? On Gratitude? Now I have been giving donations to this temple for such a long time. I bring food to the temple, I serve on the committee... I look after, Come on Busy Bees, I help out erect the tents on... (clarification) ... Saturdays at 7 o'clock I do All this work for you and this is the first time I've ever asked anything from you Ajahn Chah! And you say No? What type of gratitude is that?" He put Ajahn on the spot... So Ajahn Chah said... "Hmm... you got a point there, you know... gratitude You were really generous, I suppose I should help you back. Give me your hand..." So Ajahn Chah, the one and only time he read the lines on the person's palm to predict his future And he said, "Now because I'm a monk, and I keep my precepts, what I tell you will be the truth." The man, " Yeah I Know... That's why I asked you". So Ajahn Chah... "Are you ready for this?" He, "Yes, Yes, Yes!", Ajahn, "Are you Sure?"; He, "Yes!" So Ajahn started tracing the lines on his palm very slowly... and every now and again... he would stop, and look and sometimes he would smile, sometimes he would shake his head... this poor man was getting so excited... and afraid at the same time this was his future being read and it would be absolutely true whatever Ajahn Chah said no matter what came out, he knew he could trust this monk... and he took for ever to finish reading the palms of this man's hands... and as soon as Ajahn Chah was finished... He, "Yes, yes, yes,... what's my future going to be? Yes, please tell me!" Ajahn, "I just read", "yes, you read the palm" Ajahn, "What I say is going to be absolutely true" He, "Yeah I know that, what's going to be?" He, "I'm so excited... I'm so excited!" but Ajahn Chah was very calm. and it seemed it was for ever before he would get the prediction for his future... and eventually Ajahn Chah said, "Your future..." He said, "Yes, yes, yes...!" Ajahn, "Your future...", He, "Yes!" Ajahn, "Is going to be...", He, "Yes!" Ajahn, "Uncertain!"

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• The ghost at the toilet door

  In brief: After a funeral, a terrified 11-year-old novice stays in the hall all night; at 2 a.m. he dashes to the outdoor toilet, hears scratching…

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  I remember this story - this poor little novice staying in our monastery in Thailand. Because it was a cremation monastery that day was the moon day when we would meditate all night...that poor little novice, we did a funeral that day, and were supposed to meditate all night... in the hall. Now usually, little novices, they are only about 11-12 years of age, there is no way they would stay up all night, they would sneak off in the middle of their night back to their house. We knew they did this, it was breaking the rules, but they were only small little monks, so we didn't mind. And we've go to be kind.. Not this day. This night, that little novice, he would not leave the hall. [Laughter]. Because he was just so afraid of the ghost. See even the [Laughter]. Those dogs must have been reborn in Thailand. Last night. [Laughter]. Great special effects. Now these, here they go again. [Laughter]. Shut up, dogs! [Laughter]. There, they're going now. Now these ghosts, or rather this little novice, the poor little novice, stuck in that hall, you know 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock, too scared to go out. When it got to about 2 o'clock in the morning he just couldn't hold his urine any longer. He had to go to the toilet. And the trouble is the toilet was about 20 meters outside the hall. [Some laughter]. In the darkness. So this poor little, you can imagine what he felt like, he had the pain in his bladder against the fear of that ghost getting him. So he made a run for it - desperation. He ran and he got to the toilet, locked the door. He'd only been in that toilet for about a few minutes when he heard the steps. [Laughter]. And it came right to the toilet cubicle he was in and started scratching. Can you get a scratch..? [Scratches tissue box]. I tried to get some special effects.. for the tape [Laughter]. A scratch at the door..and this poor little novice didn't come out of that toilet cubicle for about 3 hours. [Laughter]. And when he came out he was telling us - the ghost came to get him! The ghost! And he heard it, he heard it scratching. Another monk saw that ghost.. You know what it was? It was a civet cat. Like a possum. Those of you who've been to Asia know they've got squat toilets. The toilets are actually on the floor, and that little possum, civet cat, every evening he would go into that toilet cubicle to get some water to drink from the toilet bowl. That was his drinking place. And so that evening all that happened was this little possum walked to that toilet and was scratching the door - "please let me in, I'm thirsty". [Laughter]. But that little novice [laughs], he was a ghost coming to get me! And you can actually see how because of wrong thinking, and because there was a funeral that day, thinking all day, thinking all evening, and what was just a little jungle cat, just coming for a drink, he thought it was a ghost and he was in that toilet for about 3 or 4 hours - poor little novice.

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• Between the tiger and the snake: taste the honey

  In brief: Chased by a man-eating tiger, a man jumps into a dry well, catches a root and hangs between the tiger pawing from above and a cobra…

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  that was a story of the man who was being chased by the tiger this is the story which says what to do when everything goes terribly wrong he is being chased by a tiger in the jungle, a man-eating tiger and these two things you should know about tigers. First of all, they can run much faster than you can so if you're being chased you’re in big trouble. And number two, they like human beings for dinner. It's a delicacy, especially fat human beings like monks So anyway this tiger was running after this man in the jungle what did the man do he was really in big trouble the tiger was almost at his at his heels he saw a hole in there in the jungle, an abandoned well. Yes, it's exciting isn't it? (Audience laughed) Thank you for those special effects (Audience laughed) and he had no choice, he took a risk he jumped into that well and as soon as he committed to jumping into the well that's when he realized he made a big mistake. You ever done that? You know you take a risk and you find Oh! Oh! big mistake. Because that well was dry there was no water in the bottom instead of water there was a big black snake coiled up at the bottom of the well. Instinctively he reached to the side of the well and grabbed a root which was poking through the wall of the well that stopped his fall and when he sort of settle down and came to, he looked up. The tiger hadn't given up yet, the tiger was leaning over the well trying to paw him from above but his hand, his hand holding the root was just too low the tiger couldn't reach him and then he looked down the snake had woken up, the snake had lifted its head, had open its hood and hisss… Did I get any of you that way? Look, it's Friday evening you've been at work I need to wake you up somehow, to make this alive. trying to strike his feet but the feet were just too high the snake was stretching couldn't quite hit the guy's feet. So there he was, stuck between a man-eating tiger and a venomous snake and as he was wondering what to do next he saw from a hole in the side of the well two mice crawl out. A black mouse and a white mouse and those mice started chewing at the roots. Just to make it a little bit more scary. So what should he do next? What would you do? You get so anxious and afraid, the the roots getting thinner and thinner, I’ve got Tiger above me, a snake below. Aah! but not this guy. This guy had been to the Buddhist temple many times. He'd read the story “opening the door of your heart” he knew exactly what to do. That's why you come to places like this. If you’re ever in a jungle and this happens to you you know exactly what to do or something similar because what was happening next. The tiger, the tiger was trying to paw him from below and his backside was rubbing against the tree making the tree shakes. On a branch of the tree directly above the well there was a beehive. Don’t worry about the bees they’re okay but as the hive was shaking honey started to drip down and this man put out his tongue to taste the honey and said Mmm, that's so delicious. And that is the end of the story.

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