Stories for dying parent
4 Buddhist wisdom stories for dying parent from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- Ask if she's still thereStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Counseling a woman whose mother is on life support, he advises sitting, holding the hand and asking whether she is still there. In a Chinese family in Malaysia/Singapore the…
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suppose your mother is in a coma in hospital for several months and there's no real possibility of of any cure and someone ask you should we turn off the ventilator should we turn off the life support system and as a Buddhist what should you you do cuz that's your mother as I said this her jaw dropped and she said wow you're good because her mother was in the hospital on a life support system in a coma and she'd been like that for quite a while I sort of nailed it but of course the advice which I give which is important for everyone to know is that if that's your mother or anyone close to you sit next to her hold her hand and even though she's in a coma ask her if she's there if she wants to go you know there's a lot of difference between a person who is just a dead body being kept Alive by the machines and a being who's still in that body just struggling to survive and live on there's a lot of difference there and if that's someone you love and know you can feel it you can feel that there's somebody there and if there's somebody there keep the venator going there's one of the uh people I know she told her story of what it was like being in a coma it's a great story because she made a full recovery and goes around telling her story in in public forums about what it's like to be in a coma for many days she said she went to a very very dark black place don't know for how long Timeless I think it was actually for several weeks I said what brought her back she said she heard the sound of Temple Bells by Buddhist temple bells that's how she described it where that came from who knows but that brought her out of the that darkness and soon into her body and when she was in that body she could not speak or move but she could see hear and feel everything which was going on around her but not being able to respond and after a while she saw her sons come to visit which of course delighted her but she could not say that she was being delighted she had no way of responding to what they said to their kisses or holding their hand but she got terrified when the doctor came and said that their mother had no chance of coming out of the coma and ask the children the nearest of kin for permission to turn off the life support she heard them saying that and she was thinking no I'm still here here don't turn it off but she couldn't move her mouth nor any other part of the body being in Singapore or it could have been I think it was in Malaysia sorry being a Chinese family the children said well it's the eldest son's decision and the eldest son said no don't leave me alone I want your help on this but of course no one wants to make such a decision to turn off the machine of your own mother so they passed her back to the eldest son and he had to choose whether his mother would die right there and of course she could not move her body certainly not her lips not even her eyes but she could certainly move her mind and she wished and willed and concentrated her mind to say say son don't don't don't I'm here and the son said no give her another day in that 24 hours she was able to move her hand enough to show the doctor that something was happening a recovery seemed to be happening and of course because you could tell that story she did make a total recovery and you wouldn't think that she had been in that situation if you saw her today
- Chanting for a dying mother in SingaporeStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: In Singapore a woman asks Ajahn Brahm to chant for her mother, just home from hospital and expected to die soon. After the chanting the old lady gets out of bed and starts…
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I did some chanting for them the lady asked me to come even I was supposed to go to a funeral for somebody else say can you please child from my mom she's just come home from hospital and you know I think now may be the last time maybe looks like she's gonna die soon so can I come chant for her so I went to chant for this lady you know I've known a long time and apparently after chanting she got out of bed and started walking around another miracle that's not a miracle is uncertainty
- Permission to go — peaceful funeralStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: He tells a daughter she is holding her dying mother back; she gives full permission to depart. The mother dies within 24 hours. At the Thai funeral's first rites, husband and two…
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please give your mother permission to go you have to let her go and I don't mean just half-heartedly fully go up to her and give her your blessing to depart this life because you are what's holding her back and she accepted that and understood that I was quite surprised at how easily that really got into her head into her mind and after I left she did go up to her mother talk to her and free her let her go she passed away 24 hours later and I was fortunate enough to do part of the funeral service in Thailand the funeral service is just so long and drawn out the death only takes a couple of minutes but the funerals take a 100 days there's something very wrong there but that's tradition but fortunately I went to do the first part of the funeral service and it was one of the most those was on Monday evening was one of the most wonderful times to see the closest relations the husband and the two daughters totally at peace with her mother death cuz her mother had died well had died beautifully and there wasn't tears there wasn't the sense of grief there was a sense that they let go and what a wonderful freeing experience that was for everybody
- 'Please tell Julie how much I love her'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A doctor who attends the Buddhist Society told Ajahn Brahm of a dying patient (he thinks at Royal Perth) who had given a list of close family to call. The patient hadn't been…
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I have known so many people comas, dementia haven't known their children for 3 or 4 years last minutes before they pass away Hey John where have you been all this time Mama I have been with you the last few years. Have you? They remember. Clarity at the last moment when the citta taken over rather than the brain. Thank you Ajahn. Terminal lucidity it is called; they even got a name for it