Stories about ageing
8 Buddhist wisdom stories about ageing from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- George Burns on worryingJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At 96, comedian George Burns still stays out at nightclubs, drinks whisky, smokes and eats fatty food. Asked if he isn't worried about his lifestyle: “No, my wife was worried…
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This is one of my favourite quotes. He is real scallywag but you could admire this person, he was very smart, that comedian George Burns. He is dead now but when he actually said somewhere when he was 96 or 97 birthday. And those of you who know this American Comedian; he was a scallywag all his life. Now at 96 he was still going to night clubs ok;. staying out till 2 or 3 in the morning drinking lots of Whisky, smoking as well eating KFC and all these fatty foods. And they asked him (probably healthy foods at KFC I have to be careful they would sue me or the Buddhist Society) but anyway you know what I mean. I don't need to criticize any food any way eating really sort of unhealthy food and the interviewer asked him 'aren't you afraid of your health, aren't you worried with your lifestyle , you smoke you drinks alcohol, you eat fatty food, you are out late at night ; aren't you worried about your lifestyle? And his reply was 'no I am not worried about my lifestyle my wife was worried about my lifestyle and that's why she died 20 years ago.
- I'm 888 months oldStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Bored of turning 74, he counts age in months — 888 — an auspicious number in Singapore, and jokes about number plates.
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I count my age in months. It's much more impressive. And if you quickly work it out, what is 74 years in months? It's 888. Oo. Yeah. In a place like Singapore. 8 AAA. Wow. That's really apicious. It's the most auspicious number. If anybody can get a car with a number plate 88 AA, it cost a fortune. Is that true, Eddie? Yes, I'm 88 in a couple of months time
- Not until it criesJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A wealthy 65-year-old career woman, never married, has a baby through a fertility clinic. Friends visit to see the baby; she keeps saying 'not yet' over cups of tea and biscuits.…
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this 65y old girl you know she she never got married married and so she was a business career woman and now getting to the end of her life she realized she'd missed something in life and I was having a child and being quite wealthy she went to this a very expensive doctor in a gynecologist who referred her to a fertility clinic had got a sperm donor and it's amazing what medic Med medicine can do these days she actually conceived and gave birth to a healthy baby at 65 years of age amazing isn't it and once she came back home from hospital and her friends this is a joke by the way when she came home from the doctor but there's a point to the joke when she came home of course her friends and her relations came to visit her and had a cup of tea and said no we've come to see the baby and she said not yet so they had a cup of tea and after they finished a cup of tea and can we see the baby now not yet said the 65 old so I had another cup of tea and a biscuit and said can we see the baby now she said not yet I said why not yet said oh you can't see the baby until it starts crying why they said because I've forgotten where I put it
- Sixty pilgrims' photographs and a near-missed flightStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Changing flights at Singapore airport, Ajahn Brahm is recognised by 60 or 70 Indonesians returning from pilgrimage in India. Group photos, individual photos, family photos — it…
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This was at the airport in Singapore. I was going from one terminal to one a flight to another flight connecting flight and all these Indonesians they just come back from going on pilgrimage uh in India and they recognize me Ajan Brah said yeah oh it's not so lucky to meet you can we take photograph of you of course I don't mind but there was about 60 or 70 of them and they had to have the group photograph individual photographs photographs with their close close family. It was taking forever and that's the only time the only time when I had a collecting a connecting flight and when I got to the gate they were calling out my name. Mr. Brahma Wango, your flight is about to leave. Come quickly. I almost missed my flight because of that. So I tried to stop the problem and the reason I tried to stop the problem I actually the way I started to uh stop the problem I was telling people that when I went to that big monument in central Java Bora Pador there were signs there saying please don't take photographs of the great monument B pador and I said ask Why? Actually, the flashes of the cameras was degrading the stone, was destroying the monument. It's proved scientifically. And I said, "Well, look at me. I'm degrading fast." So, they thought that was very funny. So, they took more photographs.
- That's not the dress I bought for herStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Mother in a locked dementia ward; brother first notices she is wearing someone else's dress — clothes get swapped on the ward — then catches himself and softens.
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mother had dementia when I went to visit her in a really really caring facility it had to be locked because mother would go wandering around she wouldn't know where she was but there's a lot toward but as soon as I went in with my brother the first thing my brother said when she saw my mother she's not what that's not the dress I bought for her because my brother would Supply you know all the clothes and other stuff that was his responsibility very caring and then he caught himself and louder said her sorry but she always does this I buy her dresses I know what I bought her and I go to visit her and she's wearing somebody else's dress
- The 86-year-old who pleaded guiltyJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Two old men meet in the park for lunch every day. The 86-year-old disappears for a month; when he returns he says he's been in jail. The girl who serves their coffee accused him…
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two 80 year old men and they always met every now and then in the park and they'd tell a few stories. You know, solve the problems of the world, feed the pigeons. and they became close friends and one day one of the men never turned up. His other mate, friend got very concerned that his mate never turned up. They both thought, "He's old, in his late 80s, he could get a cold or flu or something, but when he never turned up for a whole month, his friend thought he may have died. So, you can imagine just how relieved he felt when his friend turned up after one month. And he said, "I was so worried about you, I thought you died. Whatever happened to you?" And this guy said, "Well, actually I went to prison." He said, "How old are you?" He said, "I'm 89. I spent 30 days in prison." "How on earth did you end up in prison? He said, "Well, you know that beautiful young girl who serves us coffee in the cafe sometimes? She accused me of rape and when I went to court, I was so flattered, I pleaded guilty
- The glasses on top of his noseStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Halfway down Kingsbury Drive on the way to a Friday talk, Ajahn Brahm tells his driver to turn back for the glasses he needs for committee papers; after searching his bag and the…
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this was some years ago, you know when I started wearing glasses. Amandus wrote this in I think my biography book. I was leaving Bodhinyana monastery to come here on a Friday night. And it was halfway down Kingsbury drive and I said Amandus was my driver. I said you gotta turn around. I looked in my bag I left my glasses in the monastery. You've got to turn around. I need that you know read all the documents for the committee. And he turned to me and said “Ajahn Brahm, have you checked on top of your nose?” I looked in my bag, I looked in the glove box, I looked everywhere. Except where my glasses actually were: on the top of my nose.
- 'You're not getting old, Ajahn — you're already old'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Brahm told his monks he was getting old. A very kind Swiss monk said, with touching sincerity — monks don't lie — 'No, Ajahn, you're not getting old.' Pause. 'You're…
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my monks, a very kind monks, this is one of my monks, a very wonderful monk from uh Switzerland. And you know when he knows his story that I told the monks, I'm getting old and they said, "No, Ajam, you're not getting old." And that's really touching just the way they said it with the sincerity because monks don't lie. said, "No, you're not getting old." Ah, you're already old. Which is true.