Story · Ajahn Brahm
Drawn out of catatonia by kindness (a dream)
The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)
I remember as a young monk, I had this dream once. The very powerful dream, which I remember it so well. And I remember just dreaming that I was being tortured. Don't know whether it is a past life, but it was very vivid, being tortured by people stabbing me and it hurts so much. And I went to a deep place inside myself, just to escape the pain. It's the only place I could find and it's a quite strange dream because I dreamt I was catatonic for years. Alive, but not being able to respond like in a coma. And what took me out was just these beautiful kind words, from a carer in some institution somewhere who was so kind that I trusted the world again, and allowed myself to be drawn out back into life. It's a weird dream. But what it actually showed me was the way that we hide because of the great pain of life, sometimes it gets so painful either physically or emotionally, we literally cannot take any more. We go into some sort of hiding place. Now for me, and that dream was just in a deep, deep catatonia where I would not respond to anything in the world. Or it could be just with the other protective mechanisms of unwilling to show any empathy and being violent, used to protect yourself. And the only way out was incredible kindness, which you know to me, and also in Buddhist ideas, is the power which nothing can resist. Incredible kindness, just drawing you out, from a place, a hiding place built by fear, coming out into the world, again, being alive again. It's only a dream but it was very meaningful for me.
▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 59:02 (to 1:00:58)
A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)
In the dream, years of hiding ended not with force but with a carer's kind words. Ajahn Brahm took it as a teaching about people who have been badly hurt: they retreat into a bunker, and only patient kindness draws them out. The same holds for the hurt, withdrawn parts of yourself. Keep being kind and wait.
In brief (our summary)
As a young monk Ajahn Brahm dreams vividly of being tortured and retreating into a deep catatonic place for years, until a carer's kind words make him trust the world again and draw him back into life.
Teaching point
Severe pain makes people hide — in catatonia or in violence; only great kindness draws them out.
When this story may help
- trauma
- supporting someone withdrawn
- caring for someone with mental illness
Themes
Source & credit
Told by Ajahn Brahm in How to deal with rejection and lack of self-worth | Ajahn Brahm | 30-01-2015 · 2015-02-01 · ▶ watch from 59:02 to 1:00:58 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia
1 other telling of this story
- The Dangers of Fear | Ajahn Brahm | 4 November 2022 · 2022-11-04 · ▶ watch from 26:21 to 28:47 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia2022 telling differs: dreamt 'when I was a young boy'; he is stabbed by thugs with knives, his mother runs out of the council flat to attack them; he retreats into catatonia until, years later in an institution, a super-kind nurse playing a song on a guitar reaches him. He stresses he checked with his mother — it never happened.
The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version