The 'bikie' who came to the retreat

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• The noisy breather on the Sydney retreat

  In brief: On a nine-day retreat in Sydney one man breathes so loudly that a meditator complains. Ajahn Brahm explains he has a terminal tumour…

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  At meditation retreats I always remember this one man when I was teaching a Meditation Retreat in Sydney many years ago and a 9-day retreat. You know that people are supposed to be quiet when they are meditating but this man (Ajahn breathing noisily) He was breathing so heavily through every meditation sitting so much so that someone came up to me to complain Can you please tell this person to keep quiet. I am trying to meditate. He had a tumor in his nasal passages blocking both nostrils. It was terminal; the doctor had given up surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy So the doctors have abandoned him and he came to the meditation retreat as a last resort So when I told all the meditators that, they felt very embarrassed and guilty that they were complaining about somebody who got only few weeks to live. He told me that; on the last day of the retreat (Ajahn making the sound) breathing loudly again but not thinking being silent; he had a 'pop' He said he could breath again. That's what he said 'a pop' as his nasal passage cleared but only for about 5 or 10 minutes then it closed again. That was an amazing thing which happened I thought that meditation was working but he left it a bit too late. I never thought he would survive. Few years later teaching meditation in Sydney, this guy came up to me 'do you remember me?' I said 'of course I don't remember, who are you? ' As a monk I am honest He was that man. He cared with his meditation and his nose had cleared and now he was going around teaching people how to be peaceful, how to be silent. because his cancer had got into regression even though he should have been dead years ago.

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• The boy who failed grade one three times

  In brief: A north-east Thai boy fails grade one three years running, so he is sent to the village monastery, where even the patient abbot can't…

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  There was one of my favourite monks in Thailand long time ago. I only heard about him when I was a young monk. I never actually met him. But the reason why I was impressed by him was his story how he became a monk, and how he became fully enlightened. Because he was a young kid when he went to grade one in school in the northeast of Thailand, it was only basic education. Only four years of school. This was over 40 50 years ago. Only four years at school and then you are out in the fields ploughing and doing stuff with your father and mother. It was subsistence economy. So when he went to grade one at school after finishing the year, his teacher said "I'm sorry, I can't pass you. You can't go on to grade two. You have to repeat grade one." I don't know how anyone could fail grade one at school. Maybe plasticine, you can't do. Otherwise how can you fail grade one? But this kid was so stupid, he failed grade one and had to repeat it when all his friends went on to grade two. And after another year in grade one, his teacher said "Look, I'm sorry. Just for the best one in the world. You have to repeat it for third year." And after three years of repeating grade one at school, that teacher the headmaster again "Sorry we can't pass this kid. He's that stupid." And anyone who can't pass grade one after three tries, it's a waste of time, sort of getting him to help plough the fields. He doesn't know one end of a water buffalo from another end. And so the only place they could send him and this was in Thailand in those times if you're that stupid, you can't pass grade one after three years, was to send him into the monastery and make him a novice monk. Now not all novice monks start their life out like that. [laughter] And the reason they sent him to the monastery, village monastery, because that was just a catcher that was a social safety net. And at least the head monk in these monasteries they are always incredibly kind and so patient. Much more patient now than any sort of teacher in a school. So, this head monk in this monastery took this young kid under his wing and tried as much as he could to train him. Now we have to do some sort of chanting, you know, as a Buddhist monk. He tried to teach him how to chant simple things like the Namo Tassa. And so you get the first word Namo. Yeah, what's the second word? Tassa? Oh, yeah, Tassa. What's the first word again? He was just so dumb. He could not even do Namo Tassa. And after a couple of years in the monastery in the village, even the abbot just could not teach him. So the last resort, the final resting place for such hopeless little kids were the forest monasteries, where I come from. [laughter] They said send him to one of these forest monasteries. That's where you don't have to do the chanting, and you just meditate all day. And this fellow, his mind was so simple. They just asked him, just notice and watch your breath go in and out. And he could do it no problem at all. Because he, you know, he didn't think that much, not like you guys. And so this person who everyone thought was stupid, he got into the deep meditations really quickly, and very quickly became fully enlightened, an arahat. So you say, who's a stupid one? Not this guy, his mind was so peaceful, they're so pure and kind. Interestingly, I remember the story. They said, well, you know, as a monk, he has to do some chanting. And he could chant very well after that experience. Because what he actually did. So he said, with a powerful mind like that he could remember his past lives, remember the past life when he was a monk before and when he actually did learn the chanting. And he would actually connect with that past life whenever he had to do the chanting. So you know he's actually sent his memory back. And that's where he could chant in this life.

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• The bikies' funeral

  In brief: A young bikie hits a lamp post and dies; his Buddhist mother asks Ajahn Brahm to support her, and he ends up conducting the funeral in…

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  I remember going to a funeral service. I mentioned this because I was at a funeral service over in Freo um last Wednesday and it was for a bikey funeral. You know, it was real bikes. One of their members had hit a lamp post and died. And the m their mother was a Buddhist and invited me to come to the funeral to, you know, support her. In the end, I ended up doing the funeral service. One of the best funerals I've ever done cuz no bikes. They came in all their leathers and chains and whatever else they had on. and all their their girlfriends again came as if they were going to a dance or a nightclub, not a funeral. They're all dressed up. That was their culture. But I looked a bit weird as well to them cuz I was dressed in brown. And I ended up doing the funeral service. But there was so I always remember it because after the funeral service was concluded, they all came up to me, nice service, sir. Thank you for that, sir. They were just so polite. It totally changed my idea of a, you know, bikey just I was on their side that day

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• The Muslim family at the airport

  In brief: On a teaching tour of Indonesia, Muslims attend his talks and a veiled family rushes to the airport to have him sign the book they loved…

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  Even like Indonesia, my trip to Indonesia, that's where all the Muslim terrorists are, you know all the Bali bombers, they came from over there, but I had such a wonderful time with the Muslims, they came to all my talks, we had photos together, got interviewed and photographed in the Muslim newspapers. Even one Muslim family, they came to the airport, they just caught me in time, said "Oh, Ajahn Brahm, Ajahn Brahm you must sign our book, it's the best book we've ever had." So this whole Muslim family in the veils and everything, me in the middle with the book, having a last photograph taken together. Isn't that wonderful, when people of different religions can have so much fun together.

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