The locust plague that never came

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  And this Peanuts, this Charlie Brown and his dog Snoopy, must have been on vacation somewhere, they were on a pier and they were sitting there enjoying the afternoon, this beautiful view, just mountains and lakes and waters, having a beautiful afternoon there, and Charlie Brown says to his dog Snoopy, "You know Snoopy, all of us one day will die." And Snoopy, this great philosopher, he really is wise dog, much wiser than human beings, Snoopy says, "True, one day all of us will die, but most days all of us won't die.

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• Between the tiger and the snake: taste the honey

  In brief: Chased by a man-eating tiger, a man jumps into a dry well, catches a root and hangs between the tiger pawing from above and a cobra…

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  that was a story of the man who was being chased by the tiger this is the story which says what to do when everything goes terribly wrong he is being chased by a tiger in the jungle, a man-eating tiger and these two things you should know about tigers. First of all, they can run much faster than you can so if you're being chased you’re in big trouble. And number two, they like human beings for dinner. It's a delicacy, especially fat human beings like monks So anyway this tiger was running after this man in the jungle what did the man do he was really in big trouble the tiger was almost at his at his heels he saw a hole in there in the jungle, an abandoned well. Yes, it's exciting isn't it? (Audience laughed) Thank you for those special effects (Audience laughed) and he had no choice, he took a risk he jumped into that well and as soon as he committed to jumping into the well that's when he realized he made a big mistake. You ever done that? You know you take a risk and you find Oh! Oh! big mistake. Because that well was dry there was no water in the bottom instead of water there was a big black snake coiled up at the bottom of the well. Instinctively he reached to the side of the well and grabbed a root which was poking through the wall of the well that stopped his fall and when he sort of settle down and came to, he looked up. The tiger hadn't given up yet, the tiger was leaning over the well trying to paw him from above but his hand, his hand holding the root was just too low the tiger couldn't reach him and then he looked down the snake had woken up, the snake had lifted its head, had open its hood and hisss… Did I get any of you that way? Look, it's Friday evening you've been at work I need to wake you up somehow, to make this alive. trying to strike his feet but the feet were just too high the snake was stretching couldn't quite hit the guy's feet. So there he was, stuck between a man-eating tiger and a venomous snake and as he was wondering what to do next he saw from a hole in the side of the well two mice crawl out. A black mouse and a white mouse and those mice started chewing at the roots. Just to make it a little bit more scary. So what should he do next? What would you do? You get so anxious and afraid, the the roots getting thinner and thinner, I’ve got Tiger above me, a snake below. Aah! but not this guy. This guy had been to the Buddhist temple many times. He'd read the story “opening the door of your heart” he knew exactly what to do. That's why you come to places like this. If you’re ever in a jungle and this happens to you you know exactly what to do or something similar because what was happening next. The tiger, the tiger was trying to paw him from below and his backside was rubbing against the tree making the tree shakes. On a branch of the tree directly above the well there was a beehive. Don’t worry about the bees they’re okay but as the hive was shaking honey started to drip down and this man put out his tongue to taste the honey and said Mmm, that's so delicious. And that is the end of the story.

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• “What if a tree did not fall when we were underneath it?”

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  So Winnie-the-Pooh was with his friend, Piglet. And Piglet was a very small being. Very kind. Very loyal. But being very small, was usually subject to a lot of fear. And then one day, they were walking back from Rabbit's house in a storm like we had today and yesterday. And as they were walking through the forest, trees were coming down around them, branches were crashing to the floor and even whole trees were being ripped off and smashing around them. That was very dangerous. So dangerous, so scary, that little Piglet could stand it no longer. He froze and he looked at his best friend, Winnie-the-Pooh, and said these words: "I can't go on any longer. I just can't. What would happen? What would happen if a tree fell down when we were underneath it?" And that was a possibility. And for a second, but only a second, the great philosopher and enlightened bear, Winnie-the-Pooh, was afraid, but only for a second. And then his wisdom kicked in and he looked at his terrified friend and replied with these reassuring words: "What would happen if a tree did not fall when we were underneath it? And that was also possible. In fact, even more possible. And that was the key to overcoming little Piglet's fear so he could move on with the thought, "What would happen if a tree did not fall when we were underneath it?" And that's exactly what happened, so he could go back safely.

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• The unidentified flying monk

  In brief: A famous monk in the north of Thailand became famous because a Thai Air Force fighter pilot, flying high above the clouds, saw a monk…

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  there was this famous monk close by and there's always amazing monks which I I met this Monk and I don't doubt this story he became famous this was in the north of Thailand because a a fighter jet pilot in the Thai um Air Force oh okay that's not much of a siren you can do better than that anyway this Thai um the Air Force guy was flying you know I don't know how many hundred thousand feet through the clouds and he was really amazed because on sitting on one of the clouds was a monk he caught the monk levitating they were supposed to be doing that privately but you know without getting caught but you know because he didn't expect to see a fighter jet pilot up there quiet place above the jungle he got caught out and so the fighter jet party could recognize him you don't often see see unidentified flying Monks at 30 30 000 feet and there was one so he recognized the um the face and he knew the location the coordinates and so when he landed when he had a day off he went looking for the unidentified flying Monk and I found him exactly as he saw him in the uh found exactly as he found him in the uh the cloud it looks exactly the same and that's where he got very famous and this monk when I was up in that area he said is going to be the biggest fireworks today ever this year and that meant nuclear Holocaust so I was told it's by one of the monks you better meditate really well because this is your last chance and it never happened I was really disappointed with that Monk

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