The blast that became a spiritual experience

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• Lost in the mist: follow the stream

  In brief: As a student in the far north of Scotland, the youth-hostel warden sends him up a second mountain alone. At the summit Atlantic clouds…

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  when I was a student I used to spend a lot of vacations up in the Highlands of Scotland I would take a tent and go in solitude for a few days it was maybe a natural monk so on one occasion I was staying at a youth hostel in the far north of Scotland in the mountains and the warden of the youth hostel beautiful day today let's go to a walk up on top of the mountain so we went together that three or four hours we got to the top again a wonderful sunny day in Scotland there was another man who'd it's going to the top of that mountain as well and the warden said no you go by yourself he was a local man he should not have allowed me to go by myself in the wilderness you don't go alone because this is what happened as I got to the summit of the second mountain the clouds came in from the the ocean the Atlantic Ocean and they came in so fast there's a clear sunny day one minute ten minutes later the clouds have come down and I was enveloped in the mist I couldn't even see the hand in front of me I thought I had a sense of direction so I turned around and decided to walk down the mountain again and I came bitter within one step that distance it was a vertical cliff if I hadn't been mindful I wouldn't be here that really scared me this was dangerous I could not see where I was going I was lost with no sense of direction so I stood and thought considered solution to the problem basic science find a stream even a little book because water always flows downhill so I found a little book followed it another little rivulet came into it got bigger and big when I followed it down and down whichever way at me ended I'd follow it follow it with it asleep until it got so low down I was underneath the mist and I could see my directions and that's how I got back a long time later to the youth roster

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• “Pushing the wheelbarrow is easy; thinking about it is the hard part”

  In brief: Ajahn Chah asks the young monks to move a mountain of leftover earth; three days of gruelling work on one meal a day. While Ajahn Chah is…

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  My teacher Ajahn Chah had just built his hall. And there was lots of earth left over. And instead of paying people or getting earth movers to move the earth, why pay money when you've got so many slaves. Like me, young monks. In those days I was fit, I was healthy, I was handsome. Not fat and old like today. But I didn't mind helping a teacher. It was like gratitude when someone had helped you so much, you just please give me something to do, I just want to help you. And so he asked us to please move this earth, all the leftover earth to put in the place around the back. Now that was not easy. It was three days of hard slog. We'd only eat one meal a day. And you really couldn't even call it a meal. It was just subsistence rations. Just sticky rice with a frog on the top. That was one of the meals. It was rotten fish curry, it stank. It was… that's what we had to eat. Because this is what the villagers ate. There was snail soup. I remember the snail soup that was just so disgusting. Because the snails are so chewy. You know, just it's really hard to break them up. You know like those rubbers you use to erase pencils that's what it was like it reminded me of. That was one of the common ones. Or the fried crickets, the bugs, the ant soup and egg soup was very common. Or buffalo afterbirth. That was vegetarian food. Think about it. It doesn't harm the animal at all. It's just extra. But anyway, really gross food. And then from nine o'clock on till about ten o'clock in the evening shoveling earth into the wheelbarrows, pushing it you know to where it's needed to go. A huge amount of three days work. And it was so hot. It was in the jungle. And there was so many mosquitoes. And it was so tiring. You didn't have time to have dinner. There wasn't any lunch or any afternoon snacks or dinner. We only had one meal a day. Wow! Even prisoners of war never had to work that hard. And I had faith. After three days it was all finished. But you can imagine how dirty you felt, how sweaty. All your robes stank and just, you know you didn't have time for a shower. As soon as you got back to your hut you just collapsed. And you woke up in the morning, alms around, have a quick meal and bound moving the earth again. Three days of really really hard work. But it was finished and when I went to bed after the third day I thought “great! Tomorrow I can have a really good wash and wash my robes and do some meditation, just relax a bit.” but that night my master Ajahn Chah, he went to visit another monastery. Just like I'm doing tomorrow. We do those things. We visit each other, help each other out. And that morning after our breakfast, the deputy monk, he made in the announcement. He said “I've been thinking of where we put that earth. It's the wrong place,” he said. We need to move it. And you know he, that deputy monk, he never pushed a wheelbarrow. Never touched it. He was one of the bosses. You know what bosses are like. They always tell you what to do but they never do anything themselves. All full of ideas but no experience. So three more days of hard work in the jungle pushing those wheelbarrows, shoveling the earth. But I still had faith. After six days it was finished. Because the deputy monk had a point, you know. Well it was almost in the wrong place. And that night, guess what happened? Ajahn Chah came back. And the following morning after breakfast he said “I told you to put it over here. Why'd you put it over there? Move it! And it was at that point I lost my faith. I never became a monk to move wheelbarrows of earth. I came to meditate, become enlightened, you know, learn the Dhamma and… that's what I was a monk for. Not as a laborer. Not as a slave. I got very angry. And you know I did say I think in the book, it's absolutely true. You did start to swear. In English thinking that you know, the Thai monks couldn't understand you. But of course they understood. The body language showed you're really really unhappy. And that I was stressed out. I was angry. For a good reason you're being exploited. You've been taken advantage of. I was so angry and upset. And that's when one of the Thai monks came up to me and he said something which I will never forget which I've shared with thousands of people. One of the great ways of overcoming stress in life. He said to me: “pushing the wheelbarrow is easy. Thinking about it is a hard part.” you know, that was worth all of that torture. Just to learn that. Pushing the wheelbarrow is a hard part. Going to work with a terrible boss that's easy. Thinking about it is a problem. Having to do all of that job being the president of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia it's easy. Thinking about it is a hard part. And of course once I got it straight away you know that the rest of the three days went really quick. And it was fun. You know we'd have races with the other monks, you got there first. And if they beat me you know, just for a bit of revenge you know, shoveling the next bit of earth and it was oh just sorry, sorry that's of I… I didn't get it in the wheelbarrow. Got it all over your face. Shoveling over each other. Just a bit of fun and games playing around. And that was really good fun. After nine days it was finished.

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• “I always wanted to become a monk — but not now!”

  In brief: At a 2,000-strong talk in Singapore, a man challenges what a monk could know about real-world stress. Ajahn Brahm gives an hour-by-hour…

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  I remember giving a simile like this earlier on when I was in Singapore giving a big talk to about 2000 people and at the end of the talk somebody asked a question, it wasn't much of a question, more like a comment, It was very much what I just said, they said to me how do you, you are a Buddhist monk how do you know what stress is. What you said may make sense in theory but in the real world where we do have to work so hard, it is much different, what do you know about stress, and then I told him what I had done that day in Singapore. Getting up at 4'o clock, how many of you get up at 4'o clock in the morning and you start working from the very beginning and that day I listed all the things which I had done that day, visiting people in hospital, doing work as the Spiritual Patron of the Buddhist Fellowship in Singapore and Director of the Brahm Centre, Singapore, that is overseas, this is not my core business, which is right here, all this stuff which I am doing, I gave hour by hour account of what I had done that day, and after I told what I've done that day, to say, "look I qualify, all the work which I do and get done, I qualify as someone who knows what I am talking about--working hard and dealing with stress". Then they came to the microphone afterwards and said Wow...I never realised how hard monks have to work in our modern world, he said you know, I always wanted to become a monk one day but not now...no..no..no !!

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• The young doctor who wanted to quit

  In brief: A first-year intern loses his first patient, a young mother, and must tell her husband that his wife is dead and his kids have no mother.…

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  The doctor, he’s not here this evening, he lost his first patient first year as a doctor, as an intern, came to see me, wanted to resign, “I don’t want to be a doctor anymore.” Why? He said, “Cos I had to tell, I had to tell this girl’s widow, this young man, the one he loved the most in his life, is dead. And your kids have got no mother.” And you could see just the pain in this poor young man’s face. He’d just come back from the hospital, I don’t know whether it’s Royal Perth or Charlies Gairdner’s, just having told, you know, this poor guy, you know that he lost his wife, kids have no mom, and that just hurt him so much. Can you imagine having to do that? He said, “I can’t do this anymore, I have to just give in. I can’t be a doctor. Cos that’s going to happen again and I just can’t face having to be the one to tell somebody the incredibly painful news.” That’s when I told him and said, “You’ve misunderstood what being a doctor is all about. If you think that being a doctor is curing all your patients, you are going to fail so many times in your life. You’re going to go through this so many times. The reason is because you haven’t understood what the role of a doctor is. The role of a doctor is not to cure, is to care. To care for your patients, not to cure them.” You know what I mean, if curing is the number one thing you're supposed to do, some of the interventions which happen in hospitals today – cure at all costs, forget about caring for the patients. If it hurts, it’s going to prolong their life unnecessarily, that’s curing. Caring is a totally different agenda. If it’s caring, a lot of times, I have to care for this person, it’s time to let them go. No more interventions. The quality of their moment is more important than keeping them alive. And I said, “If your job as a doctor is to care for people, you will never have to fail. You can always care for people, you can’t always cure them. Therefore you can always be a successful doctor. You will lose many of your patients. They will die. But you will be able to go to their widow, to their family and say – they were cared for. They were cared for to the max, and the family, yeah they will be sad. They’ll realise everything was done and your loved one died, being loved and cared for.

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