Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

You've got such beautiful blue eyes — like my baby Holly

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Meditation Kamma | Ajahn Brahm | 06-06-2008

2 min read

Content note: named disciple Julie

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

There's a marvelous story from one of my disciples over in Sydney, Julie. I saw her just a few weeks ago, she's doing really well with her business. She was in the clothing business and actually some of her designs, or imports get sold in Myers and David Jones, so she's doing really well. But she once had to go at moment's notice from Sydney all the way to London to close a contract with some big firm over in the UK, hardly any notice at all. So she just got on the first available flight to Heathrow. Completely jet-lagged and tired, she only had time to check into her hotel before she had to go, I don't think she even had a shower, had to go to the boardroom to meet the managing director to sign the contract. When she turned up in the boardroom, the directors told her "you've wasted your journey, the boss is in a filthy mood, no way is he gonna sign any contract at all. We've met him this morning, he so angry, you might as well just go back to your hotel and go back to Sydney straight away." And of course she said “look, I've come all this way at least I'm gonna see the guy” “suit yourself, a waste of time” they said. What she did, while she was waiting, sit in a corner and meditate. She did a loving-kindness meditation. Five minutes later the door opened “Who's she??!! What's she doing??!!” I'm trying to be an angry boss, [laughter] also trying to wake some of you up as well, I think it worked. “What does she want???” And so she came out of her meditation and she told me she didn't know where this came from, but she stood up and looked that managing director in the eye and the words just came out which were “you've got such beautiful blue eyes just like my baby Holly back in Sydney”. And she didn't do that trying to be smart, she did that out of pure kindness because she’s just been meditating on kindness. And the power of that statement was so amazing, that managing director went all soft and mushy and said “Oh, do I? Really? Is that so?” and in five minutes she had a contract signed. The managing director went out and she tried to get back to her hotel but she couldn't, because the other board members crowded around her “teach us how you did that”. [laughter] And so she had to spend the next half an hour or an hour teaching some basic meditation to these board directors who'd just seen what they considered to be a miracle.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 49:38 (to 52:36)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Jet-lagged in London to close a deal, a businesswoman was told the managing director was in a foul mood. She meditated on kindness, and when he stormed in she told him his blue eyes were as beautiful as her baby's. He signed in minutes; the board begged to learn her secret. Kindness from a calm mind can transform a room.

In brief (our summary)

Sydney clothing entrepreneur Julie flies at short notice to London to sign a contract. Directors say the managing director is in a filthy mood and she has wasted her journey. She sits and does loving-kindness; when he storms in she looks him in the eye and says, from the meditation, that he has beautiful blue eyes like her baby Holly. He softens, signs in five minutes, and the board asks her to teach them how she did it.

Teaching point

Kindness that comes from a settled mind can change a room faster than strategy.

When this story may help

  • high-stakes meeting
  • jet lag
  • needing courage

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Meditation Kamma | Ajahn Brahm | 06-06-2008 · 2008-07-17 · ▶ watch from 49:38 to 52:36 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

3 other tellings of this story

Caption notes: Manual (volunteer) captions; occasional misspellings kept as is.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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    I remember going to Singapore once Friday night here; I think and overnight fight to Singapore as soon as you land, off to teaching and that particular time they had this concert on. matinee concert, one in the afternoon, what I was doing was just playing myself in this Buddhist type play. After play myself in the morning they went out for Supper, pre-dinner after lunch, I don't know what they called it, but they ate at any time in Singapore, like most of Asia, I don't know what they call it Lunch, Dinner they just eat, that's all it is. Any way they went off to eat and of course being a monk you couldn't have any dinner. I was so wasted, so tired, I know, there was another performance coming on in a half an hour, I had to fun everybody, entertain them and say something wise, or smart, that's why you come up here, so I can say something wise and smart and otherwise you think you come and wasted your Friday night. So, every Friday night, the pressure is on I'v got to say something smart, wise, so you could actually say ahh..it's worth coming anyway, there the pressure was on and I was totally exhausted. So, that's exactly what I did I found a quiet place, it was actually a locked exit, so no one can go through, and I just sat down there and meditated, let go of the past, let go of the future and you could feel the tiredness in your body and in your brain and just rest with them, don't do anything, make peace with them, be kind to it, and the energy starts coming back again. So, in the afternoon when I came out of the half an hour meditation, I could perform to a very high standard.

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  • 'She gave me the money and sent me'

    In brief: A man keeps asking his wife if he can go on a weekend meditation retreat; each time there's too much to do — shopping, cleaning, kids'…

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    There was this guy, good old story. It's years and years ago, we had these weekend retreats; he always wanted to go on a weekend retreat. He told me this story. It's a beautiful story. And when there was a weekend retreat, he said to his wife, "Can I go on the weekend retreat?" "What are you talking about? We got to do the shopping, the cleaning, look after the kids, take them here. Go to the dentist, gotta mow the lawn. There's too much to do." You can understand that. You know, having a family, having a house, there's so much you have to do on weekends. So she said no. But he was very persistent. Any husbands here who wanna go on retreats, this is how it's done. [laughter] He asked next retreat, he asked again, "There's a retreat on, can I go?" "No, of course you can't go! Mother's coming this weekend. The kids need to be taken here and taken there to their sports and there's so much cleaning. You've got to clean up the shed. You promised to do that for weeks." Okay. And he was persistent. This is a trick. Guys. I never been married. But I know all about it, how it works. [laughter] One day he said, "Oh there's another retreat on." I don't know how many times he said this but, "there's a retreat on this weekend. Can I go?" She was so fed up with him. "Ok, you go on your stupid retreat and leave me with the kids on the shopping and the cleaning." He took that as a "yes" and went. [laughter] It's only for the weekend. She was really annoyed at him. But then when he came home, he came home, he was really changed, like soft and kind and lots of loving kindness, and not fault finding and peaceful and very helpful, you know, when you do your little chores in the kitchen. And they learn how to do this and cook that and she was amazed at the change in her husband. Just a weekend and what a most wonderful guy he was to live with. This is absolutely true. The next time there was a retreat, he came on a retreat. "And so, you've got permission from your wife to go on a retreat again?" He said, "No, I didn't have permission to go, she just gave me the money and sent me."

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    In brief: Ajahn Brahm taught a 'Kindfulness' meditation retreat in the Disney hotel in Hong Kong. The first night they meditated in the Sleeping…

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    After leaving Korea I went to Hong Kong to do a meditation retreat. You know where we held the Meditation Retreat in Hong Kong last week-end? In Disney World! I taught a meditation retreat in Disney World, Hong Kong. That's the sort of crazy stuff which I love. So the first night we had the meditation, because it's a Disney World Hotel; they brand, so the first night we had the meditation in the Sleeping Beauty Room! (laughter from the audience) which is not a good place to meditate everyone was falling asleep and nodding. (Ajahn laughs) Sloth and torpor. So we moved to the Snow White Room that was much better. Snow White room was a much better place to meditate because Snow White .. purity, virtue and goodness, kindness. But all the interviews ... when we have a retreat we give personal interviews about their meditation. They chose the interview room to be ... because I was sitting there all the time people coming in to ask their questions when they go out someone else would come in. That was in the Prince Charming Room! (audience laughing) So I sat so many hours in the Prince Charming Room, I thought that was very sweet, and appropriate!

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  • Vomiting through the book signing

    In brief: On an Indonesia tour Ajahn Brahm's stomach turns during a talk and the book-signing queue. He finishes signing, runs to his room and…

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    one night when I was in Indonesia I was up most of the night vomiting what happens when you travel people are very kind they give you all sorts of food you don't know what food is the proper food for you and it's and it happened when I was giving a talk you start to feel the stomach start to move and move and all these people were waiting for you to give an exciting talk like this evening and afterwards to sign the books and just you know have photographs afterwards and the I could vomit while I was having a photograph taken with somebody but it's wonderful that how as over the years of meditation practice how you've learned to deal with this sort of stuff and it's actually so easy with a bit of practice exactly what I was teaching you during the meditation period you're aware these feelings now the rumbling in your stomach and the feeling that something very very wrong in there what most people do they get excited they get sort of worried but for me I don't get excited or worried anymore just leave it alone and give it lights of kindness and kindness so it just relaxed enough to finish off the sighting of the books and then run to the room and vomit but even afterwards you know it's sometimes you know people get so much negativity to being sick for me I always look to the positive side of sickness because I was vomiting it was at least that day I lost a bit of weight [Laughter] it's interesting stuff to see what you know I got in my tummy all the time and after a while it all just disappeared and vanished but afterwards with a very sore tummy and tried to get a few hours of sleep again I did exactly what I was teaching you there to relax the body relaxing relax and relax it until any of that pain ache or even the aftermath of a sore tummy just vanishes completely away and because practicing this for such a long time whenever you do have any pain or sickness irritation it's so easy now for me to deal with it you feel it that's the mindfulness really aware of the irritation the pain the sickness whatever it is that's a mindfulness and I keep saying mindfulness is not enough you do need to have the kindness that little extra thing which helps so much you've got your focus right now do something to care for this little body of yours and so I give my little tummy some kind that's all you poor little tummy I'm sorry for putting that in there with you I didn't realize what I was putting in there I do apologize please forgive me you know I'm not your enemy I love your little tummy whatever it is you treat it with kindness and it's amazing just how it relaxes you can actually feel it and you feel it you relax it some more you feel it relax more you give it more kindness and it relaxes and relaxes until it totally softens or just like this morning walking out for breakfast past the dogs in Bali if you've been to Bali there's always dogs around the place so you give them kindness nice dog you're fine woof woof no stuff wolf nice dog and it comes totally down that's like my tummy my tummy was like this dog woofing at me all night and I just calmed it down and calmed it down until it stopped barking it stopped vomiting

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