The three-metre dugite in the shade of his hut

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• The wobbly VIP chairs and the fist under his nose

  In brief: For the opening of the Nollamara centre the Governor of WA, Sir Gordon Reid, accepts the invitation. Ajahn Brahm orders the best marquee…

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  When we first came to this suburb, when we first opened this centre here, it was about twenty years ago now, forget exactly when, maybe twenty three years ago, this hall wasn’t built yet, we had the community hall next door. And we just moved into this new centre, so we had an opening ceremony. And we thought – never know your luck – we invited the then Governor of Western Australia, Sir Gordon Reid. The Reid Highway is named after him. And just to our delight, he accepted. We never thought the Governor would accept to come to a small place like this. But he accepted and he came. We were so thrilled. And even though we were struggling for support, nevertheless, it was going to be a big day. So our treasurer at that time told me: “Look, we wanna make a really good show of it.” My job, my little piece of the action there was to order the marquee and the chairs, the marquee outside and the chairs for our people and our guests. And so, because I was told by the treasurer, it didn’t matter how much it cost, we wanted the very best. I range around for the top hire companies in Perth, I got one in Cottesloe, which hired out the marquees. for Peppermint Grove and Dalkeith And I said: “Look, we going to get the Governor, we really wanted to put a show. Buddhist have come to town, we wanna show we’re here. We don’t want to have a small thing, we want to impress people. So can I have a really nice marquee, and some really good chairs? We’ve got the Governor of the state coming.” And so the lady who took the call said: “Yes,yes, yes, it would cost you..” I said: “It doesn’t matter, the treasurer said, we wanna put on a good show.” Okay, the deal was made. And a Friday afternoon, coz we were going to have the ceremony on a Sunday, so we had to set up on a Friday, before people stop working. The Friday afternoon when the truck came with the marquee and the chairs I was a kind monk, I was helping someone else with their jobs. So I never actually saw them unload. But when I checked, the marquee which they had was absolutely filthy. And all this red dust, they must have had it on some agriculture show. And I was very upset coz I asked for something good. But, you know, instead of complaining, “Rather light a candle than complain about darkness”, we got a hose out, we hosed it down. We had a couple of days for it to dry. And then I saw the chairs, and they were also really dusty. So I had lots of helpers, we got wet clothes, we started cleaning the dust off the chairs. That could be done. But then I saw the ten VIP chairs. And this is no exaggeration: of those ten chairs, not one of those chairs had legs the same length… They all wobbled, a lot. And that was just too much. You can wipe down the chairs, you can hose down the tent, but you can’t fix those wobbly chairs. So I ran to the phone, in the room over here, and I managed to catch the Manager the lady I talked to, as she was closing the office late on Friday afternoon. And I said: “Look, this is what you’ve delivered. Don’t you remember I asked for the best? We’ve got the Governor of Western Australia and his wife coming. We can’t have them falling over, because the chairs have got legs with not equal sizes.” The lady was very apologetic. She said: “Look, there must be some sort of mistake. I’ll get them changed immediately.” Thank you. But what happened was this. The men had already knocked off for the weekend. They were down at the pub, starting their evening drinking when the manager came in and said: “The Buddhists need some new chairs. Get back to work!” So you can imagine how they felt. But this time I was waiting for them just in front of the building here. And as that truck turned the corner, it came half way down Nanson Way, you know what I’m talking about just from Constance Street to this, what is about – about 200 metres, halfway, a man jumped out of the truck. it must have been going about 20-30 km/h. He jumped up and came running towards us, with his fist clenched “Where is the bloke in charge?? I want the bloke in charge!!” So I went up to him and said: “I’m the bloke in charge.” And his eyes were red, just like the monster’s in the Jakata Tales of Buddhist. And you could smell just on his breath how much beer was he been drinking. And I sniffed it in. That’s the most beer I’ve ever imbibed in 34 years as a monk, (laughter) coming from his breath. And his fist was right in front of my nose, like this. And everybody stopped what they were doing, they stopped all the work and they just looked. Not one of them came to help me. (laughter) Thanks a lot! But they didn’t need to. It’s amazing, when you are a meditator, when you know what to do, it’s so easy not to be violent. All I did was just make my mind really peaceful, not at all afraid or scared, and I just looked him in the eye peacefully, kindly. That was one of the most amazing experiences in my life as a monk. He had his first this far from my nose, breathing all this alcohol into me, red eyes. But he could go no further. Because I wasn’t reacting in the normal way, his brain basically fused. It did, he did not know what to do next. And it’s one of those moments when you had him, you had him completely in your control and power. He couldn’t go backwards, he couldn’t go forwards. It’s a wonderful experience, holding a person like that -just because you were peaceful and you were kind. And he was completely confused. Now, in that three or four minutes when I held him there - it wasn’t just a couple of seconds, it was quite a long time – the truck had parked, and one of the other, probably the boss of the gang, came out, walked towards us and put his hand on this guy’s shoulder and said: “Come on, let’s unload the chairs.” And I said: “Yes, I’ll help you.” And we unloaded those chairs together.

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• The snake and the monk eyeball each other

  In brief: During chanting at a new jungle monastery in Thailand, a snake climbs up a monk's back; its head pops up over his shoulder. Monk and snake…

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  I remember once during one of the ceremonies we're doing some chanting and a snake CRA up this Monk's back and there's a snake I saw it cuz I was watching the Monk and just behind his shoulder a snake's head popped up and this monk looked at the snake and the snake looked at the Monk and they eyeballed each other it was one of those amazing moments that if you have a we didn't have video cameras obviously in those days we' gone on the funniest home movie for sure we'd have won a price the snake and the monk eyeballing each other cuz both were really surprised wondering what to do next and of course what the snake did the monk just very gently because very kind just gently pushed his robe off so the snake fell off without hurting it and just slithered away and we had a very good relationship with snakes in those days

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• The secret security pen — “We like you, that's your best security device”

  In brief: At a dangerous men's prison (Canning Vale, as he corrects himself) Ajahn Brahm is given a 'secret' alarm pen to point at the ceiling…

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  I remember the time once I I went into the prison at casarina used to be no not casarina sorry the one in Canning it used to be called canning Val a long time ago I think it's now called hakei or something they changed the name still the same place and because it was a prison and had some very tough and mean people in there many other visitors had been attacked it was a Men's prison but it didn't mean because you were also a m you won't get attacked and raped and it happened many times so at the gate when I checked in they warned me it's a dangerous place and some people have been in that prison for so long didn't matter what they did it's not really going to make much difference they were going to die in that prison so what's a you know they got no no reason not to offend again they can't add to the sentence so it's a very dangerous place and so as I checked in at the gate they gave me what looked to all intents and purposes like a pen like an ordinary bro pen but they told me this is not an ordinary pen it's a secret security device and they said if you look at the ceilings you will notice what looks like smoke detectors they're not smoke detectors they're are security devices if someone if anybody tries to attack you point the pen at one of those devices and press the top and then the alarm will go off and we'll know exactly in the prison where you are and we will come and save you and he said put it in your pocket and I looked at the person I wear robes I don't have pockets you know really really we cause a lot of problems for many people you know sometime sometimes the reason I got a a microphone in front of me is because sometimes people like clip these things on your um use it on your jacket or on your shirt you know but I this keeps on falling off it's a terrible thing to do that's why sometimes you go into these radio shows or TV shows and they'll try and clip things on and say forget it it's going to fall off we cause a lot of problem for a lot of people we monks but nevertheless I enjoy that and so there's no place to so just hold it they said Hold the pen but they said be careful this is really secret if the prisoners found out we wouldn't be able to use this anymore so don't tell anybody and as soon as I went into my class one of the people I knew there he said oh you've got one of those security devices too of course they know that's why I tell all the monks down at Serpentine and the nuns at Gigan don't think that the people here in D Loa don't know everything which is going on in those monasteries there is a very strong grape vine goes on and if there's any problems in any of these monasteries you know about it so the monks we know no secrets and it's wonderful not to have any secrets but anyway so when I went in there this prisoner and you he was actually a really good friend cuz I known him a long time and you know he's a violent man but you know you get to know these guys and he said to me he said brah do you really think you could press that button before I jumped you and held you down and I said no you get me first he said yeah I would but I wasn't scared CU what he said next I knew he was going to say he said but brah if any of these guys behind tried that i' would get them first we like you and that's your best security device

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• The Pinjarra girl who fed the tiger snake

  In brief: Elder in a Pinjarra home recalls: a little girl takes a saucer of milk under the stumped house each morning for a tiger snake. Mother…

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  old people's home in Pinara and because they didn't get any visitors and seeing a monk in there was great you know this old old uh people and one of them told me this wonderful story I don't know how many years ago this would have been maybe 60 or 70 years ago when he saw this he was a young man at the time and this was about 30 years ago. He told me this story and he was you know in the old people's home now so maybe even older but he said that in that area in Pinter one of his friends you know living in one of these simple old houses and saw a um uh he had a daughter maybe four or five years of age and the daughter would ask the mother for a source of milk every morning and the mother you know they thought milk was going to be very healthy for the kid and asking for something We give the daughter a saucer of milk. Now why not a glass? She said no a saucer please. So after a while mom being very busy decided you know what's why does she want a saucer? Why does she drink it you know in the kitchen? Why does she take it outside? And so she followed her little five or six year old daughter and saw the five or sixyear-old daughter place the saucer of milk just on the foot of the house. you know, the the houses on stumps, raised on stumps, just and call out to whatever was living underneath the house. And a big tiger snake came out. And of course, the daughter was only a maybe a foot away from the tiger snake. And the mother freaked out because the tiger snakes were deadly, as many of you know, and her daughter was so close. And the daughter was feeding this tiger snake every day with a saucer of milk. And so she froze and waited for the snake to drink the milk and then slither away and told her her husband the next that evening. And the husband said, "I'll look after this. No need to do anything. Just give our daughter the source of milk tomorrow." Which she did. And so the little girl, five or six years of age, it went outside the house, put the source of milk down, and called out to its friend, the tiger snake. And the tiger snake slithered out. And just before it drank the milk, its head was blasted off by her father's gun, killed right in front of the girl. From that day on, the girl refused to eat. There's nothing they could do to make it to eat. And this old man said, you know, he called it she started ftting. Never heard that word in that context before. Was ftting and ftting. Eventually, she had to be admitted into the local hospital. But even the local hospital couldn't help her and she died in the hospital. Just so much sadness. so much trauma of seeing this snake killed right in front of her. And this old digger said the father might as well shot her daughter's head off at the time

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