The bad snake learned to hiss but not bite

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

the snake got religious'. And of course when people want to asked those questions they'll go to the experts, the monks, the priests; we were supposed to know about these things. But you know all his life, that snake was always bad-mouthing at these monks, no good as bald-headed idiots, they should get a proper job instead of people feeding them, bowing down to them. Just what do they think they are? So he's always saying bad things about the monks and the priests and the nuns, everybody. He was a very bad-mouth snake, But then he thought 'well, a lot of people have a lot of faith in these guys and these girls; maybe, just maybe they may know something' So he decided, he decided to go and see one of these holy men but not a man, he couldn't understand men. There was even a holy snake not far away from where the snake lived On top of the mountain lived a holy snake. And all his mates, the other snakes said oh, you should go out and see the snake as he is a really wise snake. So, one day he decided to go. You know, what it's like when you first go to a temple most people when they first go to the temple usually sit by the doors, or even better outside. Because if they don't like it they could sneak out very quickly. And that's what he did. But before he came in, he decided to go in disguise because he was embarrassed his friends would recognize him. So, he put on a pair of dark glasses, put on one of his fedora hat and a rain coat and the snake slithered up to the mountain in disguise to see this holy snake. And they're just like the humans. The snake, the holy snake was sitting on a rock and giving a sermon with a microphone and on the Internet, you know, giving this sermon to all these little snakes who were sitting down there and listening to him. And the bad snakes sat at the entrance but what happened as the bad snake started to listen a bit more, that actually made sense and even the holy snake told a few jokes every now and again which he thought was very funny and you never realized, the bad snake never realized that holy snakes told jokes every now and again But there it was. And so it wasn't just entertainment, what that Holy snake said started to make sense. So much so that by the end of the sermon the bad snake was converted. He took off his glasses, he took off his hat and coat everyone recognized him. My goodness! look, look who's come to the temple, the bad snake has come to the temple. He came right up to the front after question time and said to the Holy snake: "I've lived a terrible life, I've done such bad things to so many people and I'm so so sorry I shouldn't have done that I don't want to go to the hell, I want to have a nice rebirth" and the holy snake taught him about forgiveness, to let go of the past. We all make mistakes One of the nicest things about spirituality we can forgive almost anything. Actually we do forgive everything. and the Holy snake was just so... sorry the bad snake was so taken by the holy snake's compassion he said "right, you're my teacher you're my master what should I do?" And that's when the Holy snake gave the bad snake the five Buddhist precepts. He made him a Buddhist. From now on, he said you must not intentionally kill any living being that includes biting your enemies not to steal, not to commit adultery, not to go along with the wives of other snakes not to lie and not to go to the the pub where the snakes go on a Saturday night, not to drink alcohol, keep the Five Precepts! And the snake because when you first come here when you get converted, you know, that's the time you're the most religious. He went up there and he took the five precepts in a loud voice and he said 'I am a changed snake, I'm a good snake I will live a good life, I'll go and help people, I'll join Amnesty International, I'll give donations to Greenpeace, I'll become a vegetarian, I'll do everything now. People make all these promises at first, usually last a few days and they go back to normal again afterwards. But and as he left, as he left the bad snake gave a donation in the box as well. He gave coins, you know why people put coins in the donation box? because everyone can hear it. See, I give donation, I give donation. He was just showing off. So anyway he went back to his place by the side of the road. Now he was a good snake. But of course the people didn't know that he couldn't put a sign up saying I don't bite anymore because he can't write in English. So if he did write a sign it should be "Shh, shh, shh, shhh", he would be able to do that. So people would still avoid him they'd still put in this big detour even though it was a long way out the way cuz they still thought he was a dangerous snake even though he did have one of these Amnesty International badges on his chest. And even though sometimes they did actually see him sitting cross-legged, no could not cross-legged, cross-coiled by his hole in meditation. Because he's a good snake now, but they didn't know that he was, he was a good snake But once a kid was just had this iPod on; They told me yesterday at the airport that there were, they were paging for this kid at the airport would Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones come we're waiting for you, the whole plane is waiting for you. And then this Mr. Jones, this kid or maybe about 18 he rocked up and he had his iPod on, he hadn't heard any announcements. He just walked in as if he was... he owned the aircraft So be careful if you go to the airport, please don't put your iPod on with the headphones in. You won't be able to hear anything and you keep everyone else waiting but anyway that's another story. This guy he was actually had the iPhone, the iPod on with his earphones and he walked right past the bad snake and as soon as he realized what he had done he was scared but he realized the snake hadn't actually bit him. it's actually the snake watched him and just smiled religiously. (Ajahn imitating a 'religious smile' (and the audience laughng) And at that, that was the first time they realized that snake wasn't dangerous anymore. and soon that people would just walk right over that snake, they just step over him and the snake didn't mind because you know, he's a Buddhist snake now. He was so compassionate and kind to people But; even amongst any community it's not just some bad snakes it's also bad humans as well. And there was a little gang of kids, really bad scallywag kids. These kids decided one afternoon to tease that bad snake. They came up to him and started verbally abusing him first of all. What type of snake do you think you really are? You're not a real snake, you just like an oversized worm, You probably haven't even got any fangs, come on show us your fangs if you've got any, you're a disgrace to your species. You're just a slimy creep. Which is actually quite true because all snakes are creeps, they've been slimy too. But you know even though that some of those words were true and even though you've done nothing wrong. When you're scolded, what does it feel like? When you're called names and you're accused of things you didn't do, that really hurts you. And that snake, he was a proud snake. So what are you doing this to me for, he was thinking but I can't defend myself because I can't bite anybody anymore so that snake, the Buddhists snake, just had to take it. And when they realized this snake was not reacting at all. You know, like what some people do, they take advantage of you. So the kids started picking up stones and like little clods of earth and throwing it at the snake. Some of those stones hit and they hurt, they bruised that snake and the snake was boiling inside thinking why can't I just bite one of these kids? Just one that's all. And I'll show them I've got fangs I will show them what I really am. But Ugh... these five bloody precepts I can't do anything. And that encouraged the kids even more. They came up to him with the sticks and started beating him over the back. And this poor snake because he had the 5 Precepts, because he was now a Buddhist he couldn't do anything at all. He just took the beating and he realized maybe in a monastery, maybe when you're staying in the temple you can keep five precepts. But out there in the world, in business in the family whatever. It's a tough world out there isn't it. Maybe in the monasteries you can keep these five precepts but they're impractical, impractical it can't be done. So after this beating he decided to crawl painfully up to that Holy snake to get released from his vows of non-violence and five precepts. When the holy snake saw him coming all bruised and bloody the Holy snake shouted out to him "what happened to you, you look terrible" and a bad snake said "it's your fault you fake of a snake give me those stupid five precepts." "You can't sort of keep the 5 precepts in this world you should 'get real' holy snake", get out there in the world and do what we have to do, get a job, go out there like we all have to do, instead of staying in your temple meditating then you'll find out you can't keep these precepts. And a holy snake listened and said "you stupid snake, you idiot snake, you hopeless snake" said the holy snake to the bad snake. And the bad snake was quite taken aback. "What do you mean I'm a bad snake, a stupid snake I did what you told me I kept the Five Precepts, non-violence and join Greenpeace." And the holy snake said yes, he said, I told you to keep the Five Precepts I told you not to kill people, I told you not to bite people but I never told you not to hiss and that's all you needed to do, snake. Hissssssss. So go back to where you live when those kids came back next time just hiss at them and they will run a mile. And that was a story of the bad snake. And how in life you can still keep the 5 Precepts, you can still be nonviolent but you must always remember to hiss

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 8:05 (to 20:05)