Stories for relationship breakdown
3 Buddhist wisdom stories for relationship breakdown from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- Between the tiger and the snake: taste the honeyStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Chased by a man-eating tiger, a man jumps into a dry well, catches a root and hangs between the tiger pawing from above and a cobra striking from below, while a black and a white…
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that was a story of the man who was being chased by the tiger this is the story which says what to do when everything goes terribly wrong he is being chased by a tiger in the jungle, a man-eating tiger and these two things you should know about tigers. First of all, they can run much faster than you can so if you're being chased you’re in big trouble. And number two, they like human beings for dinner. It's a delicacy, especially fat human beings like monks So anyway this tiger was running after this man in the jungle what did the man do he was really in big trouble the tiger was almost at his at his heels he saw a hole in there in the jungle, an abandoned well. Yes, it's exciting isn't it? (Audience laughed) Thank you for those special effects (Audience laughed) and he had no choice, he took a risk he jumped into that well and as soon as he committed to jumping into the well that's when he realized he made a big mistake. You ever done that? You know you take a risk and you find Oh! Oh! big mistake. Because that well was dry there was no water in the bottom instead of water there was a big black snake coiled up at the bottom of the well. Instinctively he reached to the side of the well and grabbed a root which was poking through the wall of the well that stopped his fall and when he sort of settle down and came to, he looked up. The tiger hadn't given up yet, the tiger was leaning over the well trying to paw him from above but his hand, his hand holding the root was just too low the tiger couldn't reach him and then he looked down the snake had woken up, the snake had lifted its head, had open its hood and hisss… Did I get any of you that way? Look, it's Friday evening you've been at work I need to wake you up somehow, to make this alive. trying to strike his feet but the feet were just too high the snake was stretching couldn't quite hit the guy's feet. So there he was, stuck between a man-eating tiger and a venomous snake and as he was wondering what to do next he saw from a hole in the side of the well two mice crawl out. A black mouse and a white mouse and those mice started chewing at the roots. Just to make it a little bit more scary. So what should he do next? What would you do? You get so anxious and afraid, the the roots getting thinner and thinner, I’ve got Tiger above me, a snake below. Aah! but not this guy. This guy had been to the Buddhist temple many times. He'd read the story “opening the door of your heart” he knew exactly what to do. That's why you come to places like this. If you’re ever in a jungle and this happens to you you know exactly what to do or something similar because what was happening next. The tiger, the tiger was trying to paw him from below and his backside was rubbing against the tree making the tree shakes. On a branch of the tree directly above the well there was a beehive. Don’t worry about the bees they’re okay but as the hive was shaking honey started to drip down and this man put out his tongue to taste the honey and said Mmm, that's so delicious. And that is the end of the story.
- The professor and the old sailor: “Have you learned to swim?”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Sailing from Sydney to San Francisco, a professor quizzes an old sailor three nights running on marine science, astronomy and meteorology; the sailor knows none of them, and each…
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it's about the old seaman, the old sailor and the professor. Now in these Buddhist stories, the person with the simple job usually comes out superior, especially when professors are mentioned, which is one of the reasons professors always get a bad rap in Buddhism. That's why we don't get many professors coming here. But there was a professor and an old sailor. Now these were the days when people would go from country to country in boats before we had cheap aircraft to take you place to place. So this man, he was going from Sydney to San Francisco to give some lectures, this professor. And the first night on the boat from Sydney, he had his dinner in the galley or whatever, and after a beautiful dinner he went out on deck just to take the air the first night out on the sea as people do. And as he was walking out on deck he saw this elderly sailor, this old man just leaning over the railing looking at the sea underneath. And he decided to have a conversation with this old sailor because even though this was a simple job, this man must have been sailing the oceans for such a long time, surely he must have learned something useful. And the professor was always wanting to increase the store of his knowledge, thinking that that was the meaning of life So he went up to the sailor and said to him, he said, old man, how long have you been a sailor? He said, ever since I was a young boy about 13 or 14, there's many, many years I've been sailing these oceans, you know, it's amazing. He said, you know on that sea which we're sailing on, there's so much life in there. You know, as an old sailor, you must be an expert on marine science, about all the animals which depend upon the ocean underneath us, and all the currents and the reefs underneath. You know, let's have a conversation about marine science. And the old sailor said, about what? About marine science. What are you talking about,? said the old sailor, I don't know anything about marine science or the animals under the sea. What? said the professor. All those years at sea and you never bother to pick up a book and learn about the oceans underneath you? No, said the sailor. You stupid old man, said the professor, you've wasted your life, stupid old man. And he walked away in disgust of this old man, who'd wasted his life actually on the oceans, never learning about them. Next night at sea, he had a very, very beautiful meal, and he was in a good mood. So when the professor walked on deck the second time, there was the old sailor on watch and this time he was just looking at the stars. And that was actually one of the hobbies of the professor, astronomy. Said, ah, fair enough, the poor old man, he may not know about marine science, but he must know about astronomy, because in those days before GPS, that's actually how you could navigate by the stars. So he went up to the old man and said, look, I'm sorry what I said to you last night. You know, you may not know about marine science, but I bet you know about astronomy, and that's my hobby. Look at that beautiful Ursa Major out there. He said, Ursa what? You know, the stars above you, you must know a lot about astronomy, that's guided your ship. He said, I know nothing about that, the captain knows about it, not me. What, said the professor, all those years at sea, looking up at the heavens above you, and you've never ever bothered to learn about astronomy, you stupid old man, what a waste of a life You've wasted your life you stupid old man And the professor walked away in total disgust. Now the third night at sea, it always has three in Buddhism. Actually it has one more, but I'll come on to that later. The third night at sea, now the cook made an amazing dinner, it was just so delicious, straight away it put the professor in a good mood. And when he went up to deck, it was one of these balmy nights over the ocean, just a gentle, almost fragrant breeze was wafting over the ocean. And it was such a beautiful evening, the professor said, oh come on, I'll give this old sailor another chance, because the professor was a professor of meteorology. And he realized, sailors may not know about marine science, or just ordinary sailors may not know about the stars, but they must know about the weather. Because it's the weather, the power of the winds which drives these ships. And if there's a storm, that could sink the ship. So the weather is one of the most important things for the sailor to understand. So he went up to that sailor and asked him, he said, look I'm so sorry, I was in a bad mood the last two nights, and I misjudged you. Sure you may not know about marine science underneath you, or astronomy above you, but I'm sure you must know about meteorology. About the winds, the weather, which drives the ship, which could ruin the ship, or give it safety. Let's talk about meteorology. Meteor what? said the old sailor. About the winds and the storms. I know nothing about that, said the sailor I'm just a simple sailor man, that's all. What? What? You stupid old man, you dummy, you nincompoop, all those years, what a waste of a life, you just wasted your whole life, you stupid old man, said the professor, and walked away. And he decided he'd never ever talk to that fool again. Fourth night at sea, he never went to the galley for dinner, because it was one of those nights at sea which were rough. And he suffered from seasickness, putting anything in his stomach would just come out again afterwards. So he stayed in his cabin. And as the night grew later and later, the storm got worse and worse, and in the ship you can actually feel it, because the boat starts to rock and rock and rock, and you can feel the waves bashing against the hull of the ship on the other side of your cabin window. And it was a very rough night, and the storm got worse and worse, and it reached its peak about midnight when he heard this big crash ( shut up dogs, you don't need to get excited) had this big crash. And he was scared. And after the crash, there was a few moments of silence, and then he heard people rushing and running around outside his cabin door. And in panic, he opened the door, and who was running right outside? The old sailor. And the old sailor paused for a moment, and he looked at that professor and said, Professor, in all your years, have you ever learnt about swimming? (Laughter) Actually, no, said the professor, what a waste of a life, the ship's sinking
- The two arrowsAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: The Buddha's simile: when you suffer, it is as if two arrows strike you — the physical arrow and the mental arrow. The physical arrow (sickness, losing your job, criticism,…
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that was a great simile of the two arrows. He said that it's like, when you're suffering, when you're in pain, when there is a difficulty in your life, There is like two arrows inside in you. The physical arrow and the mental arrow. He said that the physical arrow, you can't do much about. Disappointments happen in life, sicknesses happen, It doesn't matter just how much brown rice and veggies and exercise you do, you get sick. As for me, some of food I eat; is all types of rubbishy food. Now every morning, one thing I really like in my tea is sweetened condensed milk. Or if not that, the long-life milk. That's why I'm healthy because it's says "long-life" milk! That's the secret of living a long age you drink a lot of long-life milk. It says on the package, "long-life" milk. (Laughter) But sickness would come to me, I'm not gonna avoid it forever, you know, we all get sick from time to time. So, when you get sick, that's the physical arrow. When you lose your job, that's the physical arrow. When something happens to you, people criticise you, that's the physical arrow. He said "We're gonna accept that. That's the part of life." Each one of us will meet that from time to time. Number one. Look, it's not your fault. It doesn't matter what you do, you're gonna get sick, you're gonna lose your job, you're gonna have arguments in your relationships, some of you gonna get divorced, some of your kids are gonna just, you know, call you all sorts of terrible names. That's life. It happens. But the mental arrow is just what we add to that with our mind.