Stories for ageing
5 Buddhist wisdom stories for ageing from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- George Burns on worryingJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At 96, comedian George Burns still stays out at nightclubs, drinks whisky, smokes and eats fatty food. Asked if he isn't worried about his lifestyle: “No, my wife was worried…
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This is one of my favourite quotes. He is real scallywag but you could admire this person, he was very smart, that comedian George Burns. He is dead now but when he actually said somewhere when he was 96 or 97 birthday. And those of you who know this American Comedian; he was a scallywag all his life. Now at 96 he was still going to night clubs ok;. staying out till 2 or 3 in the morning drinking lots of Whisky, smoking as well eating KFC and all these fatty foods. And they asked him (probably healthy foods at KFC I have to be careful they would sue me or the Buddhist Society) but anyway you know what I mean. I don't need to criticize any food any way eating really sort of unhealthy food and the interviewer asked him 'aren't you afraid of your health, aren't you worried with your lifestyle , you smoke you drinks alcohol, you eat fatty food, you are out late at night ; aren't you worried about your lifestyle? And his reply was 'no I am not worried about my lifestyle my wife was worried about my lifestyle and that's why she died 20 years ago.
- “I feel like a newborn baby”Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: One old man complains that ageing is terrible — aches everywhere, can't do what he used to. His friend of the same age says it's wonderful: he feels like a newborn baby. How? “No…
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It reminds me of that story of the two old men sitting down and talking to one another and they were in their sort of 70s or 80s and one said to the other, "Oh, just it's so terrible being old. You know, I just ache all over the place and just, you know, I can't do things like I used to do. life is so difficult being old. And the other friend who was just about the same age said, "What do you mean?" Said, "It's wonderful. I feel I feel like a newborn baby said, "How is that?" He said, "Well, look at me. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I've just wet my pants again cuz that's what it's like when you get old. You keep doing the same old things again and again and again.
- Monk at Centrelink: prove you existStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Applying for a Commonwealth seniors card, Ajahn Brahm is asked to prove who he is. Forty-three years of trying to find out who he is, he says — 'not metaphysically', they reply.…
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i thought it's about time i applied for a commonwealth seniors cut to get some more respect we already get meals on wheels every day people bring down the for us so i went in there to the center link and they said okay can you prove who you are and i thought you know for 43 years i've been trying to find out who i it's a am difficult question so i said no no no not metaphysically have you got your passport you know that's i think that's a certain number of points and i said okay let's see your your your bank accounts or your bank card i've got that have you got marriage license no have you got your your ownership of your house no your rental agreement no your driving license no we are so difficult to prove we exist that's why we believe in oneself we're just not here
- Not until it criesJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A wealthy 65-year-old career woman, never married, has a baby through a fertility clinic. Friends visit to see the baby; she keeps saying 'not yet' over cups of tea and biscuits.…
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this 65y old girl you know she she never got married married and so she was a business career woman and now getting to the end of her life she realized she'd missed something in life and I was having a child and being quite wealthy she went to this a very expensive doctor in a gynecologist who referred her to a fertility clinic had got a sperm donor and it's amazing what medic Med medicine can do these days she actually conceived and gave birth to a healthy baby at 65 years of age amazing isn't it and once she came back home from hospital and her friends this is a joke by the way when she came home from the doctor but there's a point to the joke when she came home of course her friends and her relations came to visit her and had a cup of tea and said no we've come to see the baby and she said not yet so they had a cup of tea and after they finished a cup of tea and can we see the baby now not yet said the 65 old so I had another cup of tea and a biscuit and said can we see the baby now she said not yet I said why not yet said oh you can't see the baby until it starts crying why they said because I've forgotten where I put it
- The man with four wivesStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A dying man asks each of his four wives to come with him into death. The beautiful fourth wife, his passport to high society, will only speak a eulogy. The third, who gave him…
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so once upon on a time there was a man with four wives That's a crazy guy I haven't got one wife I'm much happier he had four of them so this poor guy had four wives and he was getting towards the end of his life and he was actually on his death bed he thought he was going to die and he starts to get worried about what happens after you die and so he called his his fourth wife the wife he married lateer on in life and she was very very attractive in fact she was so beautiful she made many many things possible for him especially invitations to High Society she was his passport into the A-list of parties and receptions and concerts in the city in which he lived and so he brought her to her bed his bedside and said d I love you very much you've been so good to me she said yes I love you T darling too and he said I'm about to die that's so sad said his fourth wife and I'll be lonely without you will you come with me into death what no way I'm not going to die with you what do you think said but what I will promise you I will will go to your funeral I promise you that and I will speak a wonderful eulogy about you I'll praise you to everybody is that all said the man that's all I can do and all I will do I thought you said you love me get out of here and he chased his fourth white out and he brought his third white in he'd married her before the fourth wife and the third wife know wasn't was a bit older but still she was very attractive and in fact you know some some of these older women are very very attractive know to many men so it gives you hope doesn't it and the third wife the third wife had been really really helpful for him and she'd made probably even more things possible she made him get a comfortable house and a com a living all because of you know the third wife and what she was and so he brought his third wife in and said darling I love you very much too I'm very attached to you and she said I love you too darling and he said I'm about to die and I'm afraid will you come with me into death no it's never been done and I can't do that I won't do that but one thing I can promise you I won't just go to your funeral I'll pay for it and I'll make sure you get a wonderful funeral and he said but then what would you do he said well after you're dead I'll probably go with your eldest son what as adultery and I haven't even died yet get out of here you Shameless scary wag Hy and said his third wife he still had two to go so he brought his and his second wife he married his second wife a long long time ago and she wasn't pretty at all but she was one of those women who was really wise and helpful she was always there for him especially in times of trouble and she looked at his second wife said well I've know you for such a long time I'm about to die I'm I'm really afraid of dying and being alone will you I know these other two said no but will you please come with me into death and the second wife looked at him and started crying said darling i' really love to if I could I would but all I can do is come to your gravite that's as far as I can come I'm sorry get out he said and he still had one wife left and this wife he' known her for so long he couldn't remember the time before he met her and she was very neglected the two later wives got all of the the jewelry and the fine clothes and so the first wife she was very poorly dressed bad hair but behind the scenes she was working so hard for him he never really appr appreciated her or really supported or helped her at all and he looked at her and said you're my last chance I've known you for so long and I'm so connected to you and she said yeah we've got this very deep connection together and he ask the question I'm about to die will you come with me into death and she smiled and said sure I will I go with you everywhere that's why my name is Mrs Karma I go with you from life to life and your second wife Mrs family your family love you and they will always support you and be there with you and they can go as far as your gravide but no more you can't take them with you and and as for the third wife that was called Mrs money you usually get that later on in your life and Mrs money can pay for a wonderful funeral for you and Mrs money can do so much for you in this life but can Mrs money go with you into death no after you die Mrs money will go with your eldest son or at least with one of your children maybe to the lawyer I don't know that's the inheritance and the fourth wife which you get last of all in life is called Mrs Fain your reputation who makes many things possible for you entry into the A-list of society maybe if you're very famous and makes and will give you a good ulog a good word at your death who you were and what you did but can your Fame and reputation go with you no said the fourth wife it can't be done and that's the symy of the man with the four wives it can be the woman with the four husbands is only a metaphor of all these things which we love and care for and think of ours which know we attached to our Fame our Fortune our family and this thing called karma that's the only thing which you take with you