# “You must be the father-in-law!”

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-wedding-groom-father-in-law-gaffe
- Themes: mistakes, humour, embarrassment
- Life situations: embarrassing mistake, social gaffe, fear of making mistakes

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

At a wedding of a young Thai bride and an Australian man, Ajahn Brahm greets the elderly Australian as the father-in-law — he is the groom.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

An important occasion like that marriage I did once. It was a Thai girl. She was very, very sweet and very young, maybe 19 or 20. And I had heard she was marrying an Australian guy. So when they came in here for their wedding, I saw this young Thai girl coming in with this elderly Australian man. And I said to this Australian man, "Oh, you must be the father-in-law!" "No, I'm the groom!", he said. That wedding didn't go down very well.

## Teaching point

Tell people your blunders and laugh; then you are not afraid of making them.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Greeting the groom as the bride's father is the kind of blunder most of us would bury forever. Ajahn Brahm tells it from the teaching seat instead. Every time you share your own clangers and laugh, you become a little less afraid of the next one. Your reputation can survive you being human; it may even improve.

## Source

- [Letting Go of Fear | Ajahn Brahm | 22-05-2009](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7rFsrdtMM8) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 47:27 to 48:18: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7rFsrdtMM8&t=2847s

Other tellings of this story:

- [How To Not Have Any Stress | Ajahn Brahm | 12 May 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJSxDv4XrY4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 35:18 to 36:14: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJSxDv4XrY4&t=2118s
- [Is Nibbana Guaranteed? | Ajahn Brahm | 02-03-2007](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpFwlHmG224) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 17:17 to 17:40: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpFwlHmG224&t=1037s